You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

You are a pioneer type and think most people are dick-heads. You are quick and reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

You have a wild imagination and often think that you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a major influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence but are still a general bad ass.

You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a damned communist.

You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are a bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini’s are notorious for thriving on incest.

You are sympathetic and understanding to other people’s problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won’t be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving mother-fuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your attitude is sickening to your friends and coworkers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep during sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male, you are probably a queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most scorpios are murdered.

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of crap.

You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken-shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself. Due to the fact that some random person sent us this, we can’t guarantee its integrity. However, it is pretty damn funny.