I'm sorry that it took
so long to write this down.

your lost little girl eyes
still scream at me every time
i see them
in photos--
i can no longer look.

my head hanging over my heart
from another night spent soaked
in denial

the hospice nightengale slowly
covered your dust in the cool
breathless room.

as the thick-legged angel
covered your face,
you could not see
my last tear
drench the flame of
the last of
the thousand candles that
you had lit within me.

dry choking throat--
                  can not speak.
damp bloodshot eyes--
                  can not open.
terminally empty heart--
                  can not feel.

that distant muffled speech drew me
home every week in hope
of a miracle
that i knew
would never come
and fill you back up.

of all of the words
i so desperately
now need to say,
the greatest by far
is a simple and unteared
goodbye.