Sitting in the back of Jenn’s bug,
flipping me off,
your eyes glassed over
baked out of your tree,
flashing the omnipresent,
smart-assed grin.
I never understood
how anyone could ever be
a bigger asshole than me,
but by God, you certainly were it.

The cheesy, cocky eyes
that few ever saw
loose the tears
they flooded when
you heard that D
had been raped
at SDSU by those drunken
Fucking Frat boys.
I never understood
why no one else could see
beyond the hard-edged exterior,
but I’m glad and sometimes
sad that I finally did.

That God-awful ugly
orange tie-dye slug shirt
you made while we waited
on The Knoll for Will’s band
to headline Sunsplash after
we’d split an eighth of
killer green Wade-bud.
I never understood
why you always wore
the thing, maybe because of why
I remember it now.

Don’t worry mon frere,
it’s only 1:30, we’ve got plenty
of time, so just kick it, and enjoy
the ride, the Schmidt will still be cold
when we get down to U-Save,
and don’t worry I said I’m buying.
I never understood
why we drank that sledge,
but at $3.99 a Sport-Pack
I never thought to complain.

The rigid middle digit,
announcing your presence
with authority, proclaiming
your complete and utter disdain
extending from the innocent
heart so desperately
craving the acceptance
that none of the PC morons
could ever give...maybe
if you’d had branches, leaves
and a fucking squirrel
on your neck they might have
liked you more.
I never understood
the hypocrisy of the
free-love crowd that could
never love anyone that was
different from them at all.

I have always hated you
for what you did to Christina
you selfish, heartless bastard;
but I know that it slowly
ate you up, your denial
swallowed you whole
while I watched you
immerse yourself in acid
thinking that
would make you forget.
I never understood
how you could walk away
from me...did you think I was
nailing her, we were just
getting coffee and trying
not to go crazy.

You were never perfect,
but you were always real
and in this cess-pool of bullshit,
I’ll take honesty every
God-damned time.
I know that you never
understood how much
you changed me in two years
on nights just like this
driving, rapping, frying,
or just plain hanging;
like the night you heard
my mom had died.