"There is a new day dawning. The darkness is behind and all ahead is light."- Anon.

"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."- Ruth 1:16,17.

"Live life so completely that when death comes like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for him to steal." -Unknown

"It's all right to let yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back." -Mick Jagger

"The journey in between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place." -Barbara DeAngelis

"You never know what happiness a single act of kindness will bring about." -Bree Abel

"The more we know, the better we forgive. Whoever feels deeply, feels for all who live." -Madame de Stael

"In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure." -Heart Warrior Chosa

"We all start out knowing magic...but then we get the magic educated right out of our souls." --Robert R. McCammon..stolen from DLC2000

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."- Winston Churchill

"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it's two hours. That's relativity."- Albert Einstein

"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"- Mark Twain

"Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."-Mark Twain

"Only dreams closing the day, and with the day's close going back.  To the gray things, the dark things, the far, deep things of dreamland.  Dreams, only dreams in the dusk, only the old remembered pictures of lost days when the day's loss, wrote in tears the heart's loss.  Tears and loss and broken dreams, may find your heart at dusk."- Sandburg

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.-Abraham Lincoln

The most important service rendered by the press is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.-Samuel Butler

The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day. --Mark Twain

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One liners sent to me by my friend Catfsh Joe

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

One nation under God with Liberty, large fries and a Coke to go

Public opinion is what people think other people are thinking.

Punish me, I'll tell you why later

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of

Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!

Reality is a cheap substitute for Prozac

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have

The light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

To some it's a six-pack. To me it's a support group.

You should hardly ever equivocate.

THOUGHTFUL THOUGHTS.....

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."--A. Whitney Brown

"When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?"--Robin Williams

"A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad." --Christopher Case

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."--Ellen DeGeneres

"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'"--Jake Johansen

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."--Dick Cavett

"I have such poor vision I can date anybody."--Garry Shandling

"I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget."--Michael McShane

More Short Stuff

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."

"I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

"Don't question authority, they don't know either."

"Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have."

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."

"Education is a funny thing. At 18 we think we know all the answers---40 years later even the questions confuse us."

"You never really grow up. You just learn how to act in public."

"It takes a little bit of insanity to do truly great things."

"The greatest battles of your life are fought within the private chambers of your own soul."

Women who seek to equal men lack ambition.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Its not the pace of life that concerns me, its the sudden stop at the end.

A day without sunshine is like night.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

Make love, not war. --Or do both, get married!

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

I don't mind going to work...it's that long wait to go home that bothers me.

Birthdays are good for you! Statistics show that the people who have the most, live the longest.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Life is like a box of chocolates, someone has probably already fingered yours.

Until you walk a mile in another mans shoes, you don't realize you really take a size 10.

Never stop to pick up a dime when you are in a parade.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

Someday we will look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

I don't believe in the afterlife, but I'm taking along a change of underwear just in case.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run, he hates that.

Only good girls keep diaries, bad girls don't have time.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself.

Be good to your children, they are the ones who will be picking your nursing home.

You can't keep a good man down, unless of course you are a 450 lb. sumo wrestler.

When you're holding all the cards why does everyone else turn out to be playing chess?

You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back you've really got something.

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on.

When my ship comes in, my luck I'll be at the airport.

If you are going to live on the edge, make sure you are wearing your seat belt.

The mind is like a parachute, it works much better when it's open.

If at first you don't succeed, you aren't bribing the right people.

Who put the stop payment on my reality check?

Points to ponder:

How do you grow seedless grapes?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If a cow laughs, does it spit milk out of it's nose?

When one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all drown?

How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

If an airplane can only carry so much water, how many times can you flush the toilet before it runs out of flushes?

If a mime gets arrested, does the officer read him his right to be silent?

If you go to a funeral service at night, do you turn your headlights off?

Why do kamakazi pilots wear helments?

Why is it, that when you move something by a boat it's called cargo, and when you move it by a car, it's called a shipment?

If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they get teflon to stick to the pan?

You know that little black box on an airplane that is indestructable? Why can't they make the whole plane out of that?

If you choke a smurf what color does it turn?

Imagine how deep the ocean would be if the bottom wasn't covered by sponges.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Whats another word for thesaurus?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do they call them tv sets when you only get one?

If it's tourist season why can't we shoot them?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

Why do they sterilize the needles for a lethal injection?

Why do you park in a driveway, and drive on a parkway?

catisfine2@yahoo.com