Star Trek Medical Boards

Howard J. Bennett, MD
Washington, DC

1. In the original series, a female from the planet Sigma Draconis IV kidnapped Spock and removed one of his organs to help run their society. Which organ did they take?
a. His pancreas       b. His somniferous tubules       c. His kidney       d. His brain

2. In "The Naked Now," a virus caused the members of the Enterprise-D to lose their inhibitions and act wildly out of character. The virus was so contagious, even Data was affected. What did the normally sedate android do with Tasha Yar as a result of this infection?
    a. They did a tango.         b. They had sex.          c. They took in dinner and a movie.          d. They argued over who was in command on the bridge.

3. In `Star II: The Wrath of Khan, Kirk shows his age by needing to use which of the following?
a. A toupe       b. A hearing aid      c. Glasses       d. Preparation H

4. What's the most distinguishing characteristic of the chief medical officer on
Star Trek Voyager?
a. He makes housecalls    b. He doesn't have to submit reimbursement forms to Medicare.       c. He has a bit of an attitude.       d. He is a computer-generated holographic doctor.

5. During a mission to the planet Mariposa, Worf fainted on the bridge.
Although this embarrassed him, Dr Pulaski insisted that he report to sickbay for an examination. What caused Wolf to collapse?
a. Rigelian fever       b. Thelusian flu         c. Rop'ngor, a common Klingon childhood illness.     d. Transporter psychosis

6. Spock is half-human and half-Vulcan. Counselor Troi is half-human and half- Betazoid. B'Elanna Torres is half-human and half-Klingon. Why can different humanoid species procreate in the future?
a. Love conquers all.       b. Pergonal Plus      
c. With the completion of the human genome project on earth and other planets in thee year 2148, scientists were able to devise gene suppressor therapy that allowed differ species to mate and reproduce.
d. It keeps the ratings up.

7. In "The Deadly Years." Captain Kirk and other member's of a landing party age rapidly after beaming down to Gamma Hydra IV. What caused this condition?
      a. A prank by the make-up crew       b. A time warp       c. An unknown form of radiation       d. Kalla-Nohra syndrome

8.Which Star Trek doctor is nicknamed "Bones.?"
a Leonard McCoy       b. Beverly Crusher       c. Julian Bashir       d. Katherine Pulaski

9. During a mission to Audet IX Deanna Troi was "impregnated" by a non-corporeal life-form while she slept. The alien did this to better understand humans by experiencing what they do as living beings. To accomplish this in one episode the alien had to speed things up a bit. As a result, Troi had the shortest full-term pregnancy in the history of television. How long was she pregnant?
      a. Two weeks       b. Two Days       c. Two Hours       d. Two minutes

10. Although 24th century medicine has not solved the problem of male pattern baldness Captain Picard does have an artificial organ in his body. Name that organ.
      a. His heart       b. His liver       c. His prostate       d. His spleen

11. Which of the following quotes is not attributable to Dr McCoy?
      a "He's dead, Jim."         b. "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic.
c. "It's not natural to have your molecules spread all over the galaxy."
d. "Get me a CBC, a chem 7, and four units of O negative blood, stat!"

12. What beings featured on Star Trek have 23 ribs, 2 livers, an eight chambered heart, and backup synaptic system?
a. Klingons           b. Cardassians           c. Bajorans           d. The Borg

13. Why don't Star Trek personnel get sick more often when
beaming back from alien worlds?
a. Replicator food contains trace amounts of Coclor
        b. The transporter's biofilters eliminate foreign DNA from the incoming patterns.       c. The show's writers have a limited supply of cool-sounding alien diseases.
      d. Crew members take 2 g of vitamin C every day.

14. Spock dies unexpectedly near the end of Star Trek II, "The Wrath of Kahn." What causes Spock's demise?
a. Altarian encephalitis           b. He choked on a Tribble.               c. Radiation exposure       d. McCoy shot him with a phaser after Spock said "fascinating" one to many times.

15. The Klingon word for doctor is Qel. What does "Haqlaj nob jiH mean"?
a. "I don't see walk-ins."       b. "Give me the scalpel."
c. "Anesthesia? We don't use anesthesia."
      d. If you put me on call tonight, I will KILL you!"

Scoring the Exam
Answer key,

1. d           2. b           3. c             4. d           5. c           6. d           7. c           8. a               9. b          
10. a           11. d           12. a           13. b           14. C           15. b

Certification in Star Trek Medicine
Correct
Answers      Ranking                       Comment

13-15     1st Level Trekker       Congratulations! Gene Roddenberry would be proud of you.
10-12     2nd Level Trekker       Good job. If you watch two episodes a day, you'll do better                                                       next time.
    7-9     3rd Level Trekker       Not bad. Try studying the material in the Remedial
                                                     Reading section.
    4-6     4th Level Trekker        Try a less demanding field like Babylon 5 or Star Wars.
    0-3     5th Level Trekker         You have the intelligence of a Caldorion eel.


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