Belling the cat

The bruises were gone. Remy twisted around to look at his back in the
mirror of the shared bathroom on his floor. No bite marks, nothing at
all. He blinked, tears starting to his eyes. Logan was gone. Really
gone.

The Canadian had left the two weeks ago a duffel slung over his
shoulder, gruff even to Jubes, while Remy sat on the porch and stared
at him in mute plea. Marie's hands on his shoulders had been all that
kept him from going after the Canadian. That and knowing the man would
probably knock him on his ass if he got in arms reach again. The rage
and pain rolling off Logan had been frightening. Knowing he was the
cause had been almost unendurable. Remy had spent most of his life
trying to please everyone and he'd gotten pretty good at it. Only when
it mattered most did he fuck up.

Remy pulled his shirt on and combed his hair then went looking for
Marie. He needed to feel better. He found her in the sunroom,
listening to some music and he curled up on the couch next to her and
rested his head in her lap. Her welcome felt so good and when she
began to idly stroke his hair, it was almost perfect. Almost.

There were a lot of almosts. The team had almost adjusted to Logan's
absence. They'd almost gotten their asses kicked at the last FOH riot
they'd gone to suppress. Marie had almost forgiven him for fucking
with Logan. Remy was almost okay with the choice he'd made. Logan was
the only one who wasn't content with almost and he'd left.

He was to blame for all of it. Leading with his dick had driven Logan
away, weakened the team and hurt Marie. Remy rubbed his cheek against
Marie's jeans and wished he still went to church. Catholics knew how
to hand out penance. Marie was just giving him understanding and a
determination to make their relationship work that was so powerful Remy
found himself dragged along in her wake. Relationship counseling,
dieu! She'd even found a consoler experienced with fringe sexuality.
They spent a lot of time talking about Remy's need for stability.

"What yah thinking about, Rems?" Marie asked. She often did now. Half
the time he didn't even know where to start and - unless he found a way
to put it in words - Marie wouldn't have a clue. It made Remy want to
scream.

"Logan." He finally said. It was the closest word he could find to
explain the guilt and loneliness and confusion he was feeling.

Marie's hand stilled on his hair. "We been over this hon. The man was
using yah. Pushing yah to hard - yah said yah never did some of the
things yah did with him. Logan's a sadist - ahn not in a good way,
hon. He's not what yah need. I am. I love yah. Logan don't love
nobody. It's not in the man, Rems."

Remy swallowed, closing his eyes. Marie believed what she was saying.
He wasn't so sure. Logan had never said a word about - love. No.
Mine, he'd said. My boy. My pet. Make you feel good. Make you fly.
Make you beg. Make you cry. Make you laugh. Mine. The Canadian had
said all these things and more but nothing about love and Remy couldn't
live without it. He could live without leather and gags and being
fucked so hard he screamed with pain and pleasure. Being hunted down
and taken like a rabbit. Being teased until he cried and nearly passed
out when he was finally allowed to come. He could live without all
that. Not without love.

But the skin memory of Logan, his weight, his taste, the feel of him
hit Remy suddenly and he curled closer to Marie. His body didn't care
about love.

********************************************

The whip snaked across the floor like a black serpent, Logan flicked it
lightly to make it crack and the boy chained to the post flinched and
whimpered behind the sturdy leather gag. So beautiful, the boy waiting
for him. Slim and long, auburn hair pulled aside to bare every inch of
that strong, bare back. The padded cuffs at wrists and ankles locked
him to the whipping post. Nervous sweat made his skin gleam. His face
was covered in a half hood, hiding his eyes, dulling his hearing.
Leaving him nothing but touch. Logan was going to touch him. Logan
could smell him, familiar and so *right*, his mouth watered and his
cock flexed in his pants.

Logan moved up to give the boy a last caress, feeling the ready heat
through his thin leather gloves. He frowned briefly, he didn't usually
wear gloves but it seemed the thing now. He shrugged and cracked the
whip again. It was a heavy duty whip, made for punishment. This boy,
he knew, had been very, very bad. He knew how to take care of that.
Logan knew how to make bad boys good. He grinned. Very, very good.

He laid the first stroke across the mid-back. The welt rose, sweet,
perfect. Lovely color. Logan laid down a couple more welts. The boy
was already wailing, struggling to beg through the gag. Logan hissed,
frustrated and whipped that ripe ass hard. The boy was screaming,
blood ribboning down his back. Logan smelled it and tears and his arm
rose and fell like a machine and there was no pleasure in it. Blood
scent rose around him, red color drowning out everything else and he
was so angry. So angry and that was so wrong. He didn't stop, even as
the boy slumped quiet, even though he knew he should. He had to stop
and he didn't.

Logan jerked awake with a cry, then fell back, breathing hard. He
stared at the off-white ceiling and wiped sweat off his face. "Shit."

The dream hung close around him. Nightmare. Fantasy. He was so hard
it hurt and sick at the thought of harming Remy like that. Never.
He'd never do that. Logan licked his lips and began to jerk his cock.
Didn't close his eyes. Didn't want to see all that blood again. He
wished the boy was here because it was taking him forever to get off.
Finally finished off and went to shower. It was still before dawn but
it didn't fucking matter. There wasn't anyone else to worry about.

He mechanically packed his duffel, decided he could hold off on
stopping at a Laundromat until tomorrow, paid his dues to the desk
jockey and headed out. Somewhere.

It had been somewhere for a while now. The road, the bike, rattle-trap
hotels and crappy little towns. He was making his money in illegal
boxing matches and cage fights. He'd lost track of what day it was or
how long he'd been out here. Logan knew that unless he went someplace
where people knew him, where the days had something to hang onto, he'd
begin to lose track of more than just what day it was.

Logan stopped at a trucker joint for breakfast and tried to decide if
he wanted to just - forget. Let the boy and everything else slide
away, never come back to the mansion, stop feeling like shit. He
pushed his plate away and stared blankly out at the sunrise. Was he
hurting that much? Did he want to give up everything for one skinny
thief?

No.

***************************************

Jubes was yelling about the school's lousy allowance and slipping a
'Dazzler(tm)' bracelet from the counter rack into her coat pocket at
the same time. Remy smiled indulgently. The girl was a lousy thief
but the staff at 'doodads' were even worse. Let Scott play junior
police, Remy knew that mall insurance took care of minor losses like
the teenager's shoplifting.

"How am I supposed to keep on top of Bobby's style if I can't *buy*
anything!" She complained to Marie.

"Bobby's got syle, petite cherie. You got fashion." Remy said.
"Fashion cost more, eh?"

Jube cast him a look and ran to catch up with Kitty and Bobby.

"Did that girl just steal something?" Marie asked. Remy winked behind
his shades, putting an arm around her.

"No harm, no foul, Oui?"

Marie just shook her head, rolling her eyes. They were currently
escorting a contingent of students to the local mall and trying to keep
the mayhem to a minimum. On the way out the professor had explained,
only half joking, that they were a little short of bail money this
quarter and could everyone please stay out of jail today? Everyone had
dutifully promised.

Remy and Marie had taken the kids to a movie first, pinning the kids
down in one place for three hours. Now, keeping track of the kids was
like trying to chase Tante's chickens.

"Kittens -" Marie said, a little wistfully. They drifted over to the
'Scamps' store where a few blue-eyed kittens were dozing in a bed of
cedar chips.

"Cherie." Remy kissed her hair. Marie couldn't have pets. Her
control over her powers was limited and a kitten snuggling up to her in
the middle of the night could end up dead. Stuffed toys, no matter how
tactically useful, were no replacement.

Marie wanted to play with the kittens and Remy left her to wander idly
through the aisles, tapping at the fishtanks and eyeing the *pedigreed*
rats with loathing. A rat was a rat. Fish food, dog toys, hamsters,
collars. Remy paused. Hands in his pockets, he stared at the blue and
red and white and brown leather. Dog collars, cat collars. Leashes.
His fingers trembling slightly, Remy fingered a stiff, bright red
leather leash. He could practically feel the familiar tug.

"What are yah seeing Rems?" Marie came up and slung an arm around his
waist.

Remy jerked his hands away from the leash as if burned, flushing.
"Not'in, cherie. Jus - dese kitten collars got a nice ring."

Marie reached out and ruffled her hand through the display, setting up
a musical jangle as dozens of cheap little bells went off. "Would
drive me nuts, that noise."

"Oui." He turned away, one hand brushing across the cat collars almost
accidentally. There wasn't even a jingle when one disappeared.

When they came back, Remy discovered that Logan had returned as
abruptly as he'd left. He was holed up with Scott, probably getting
reamed out for leaving so abruptly. Breath leaving him in a rush, the
thief retreated to his room. He took the little collar he'd stolen out
of his pocket. It was bright red, studded with a half dozen iridescent
rhinestones and a tiny enameled red bell that had a sweet sound when he
swung the leather idly from the clasp. It was far to small to put
around his neck. Nothing useful. Nothing but a symbol for something
he couldn't have. He knew what Marie would say if he asked her for a
collar. She barely accepted his need to be tied down sometimes. Only
sometimes.

Remy closed his eyes and his hands around the new leather. Marie was
so wonderfully *tolerant*, wanting to please him when all he wanted was
to be made to please someone else. And he could already see the same
signs as always. They were starting to fight. He knew the pattern,
everyone in the mansion knew the pattern. They'd fight and fight and
break up and make up and - Remy bent over and pressed his face to his
knees, stomach turning. It wasn't changing. He'd hoped, prayed, that
things would change. They loved each other, wasn't that supposed to
make it all worthwhile? He loved Marie but he couldn't trust her. And
she still made him feel ashamed.

She never said it. Not anymore. But she felt it and Remy couldn't
help but feel it too. Pity. Tolerance. Love. He remembered what
Logan had said. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed. Not for
anything. And here he was, getting a stomach full of shame.

Remy knew he was a skilled lover and he could ease Marie past the
discomfort she felt but - he didn't want to. He didn't want a *
tolerant* lover. He wanted - he wanted a lover who'd rip into him and
make his scream. He'd had a lover who'd make him feel that way - and
given him up for love. Remy rubbed his lips against the leather in his
hand. It was the stupidest decision he'd made in a long time. Thing
was, he didn't know how to undo it. He'd never learned to say no. Not
to love.

Logan was completely shut down. Remy pushed at his food, to nauseous
to eat, and struggled to read the man. There was nothing but a sense
of presence, no emotions as all and his face was still and
expressionless. The thief had no idea what he was thinking. And he
had no idea what to do.

Marie wouldn't let him out of her sight, not surprisingly, and Logan
made himself scarce as soon as his welcome home dinner was done. He
seemed genuinely glad to see Jean and Jubes threw herself on him,
cursing a blue streak about his leaving. Remy watched with envy,
wishing he could do the same thing.

Marie kept him in her room, making love aggressively, which felt good
but Remy was uncomfortable with the calculation behind it. She was
waiting for him to get over Logan the way you wait for a junkie to
finish kicking a habit.

Late at night, listening to Marie breathe beside him, Remy heard
Logan's nearly silent tread in the hall. It paused for a bare moment
outside Marie's door then went on. Remy slid out of the bed, holding
his breath but as he stood Marie's hand shot out and caught hold of his
arm.

"Where yah going, Rems?" She asked suspiciously.

Remy sat on the edge of the bed and swallowed hard. "Need to go,
cherie."

"Where -"

"Talk wid Logan, me."

"Yah don't need tah talk to him no more." Marie sat up, frowning at
him. "That's over, hon. I got yah now."

Remy closed his eyes, shoulders drooping. "Marie - s'v plait. Dis not
working. You know it, Remy know it."

"Rem!" Marie's voice broke. "Ahm trying as hard as ah c-can! Yah
just gonna throw everything we have together for - for this - quirk!
For that son-of-a-bitch!"

"Non." Remy reached for his shirt and started to dress slowly. "Not
jus dat. Jus - we ain't good for each other cherie. Remy make you
feel sick."

"No - hon -"

"Don lie to an e'mpath, cherie! You still fee dat way, even if you don
say it." Remy said. "Remy know you're tryin' cherie! Remy know dis!
And it not enough. You know dat too."

"Ah love yah!"

"Remy love Marie too. Remy wish - " His voice caught, aching for them
both. "Remy wish so bad dis work out. We both tryin' so hard - so
hard. And we both love so much. But it ain't. We love each other,
cherie but it not enough."

"And that bastard is!" Marie yelled. "He enough for yah! Cruel
enough! Hurt yah enough! I saw what he did tah yah - he do yah any
harder and yah woulda had scars! He don't love yah and what yah gonna
do when yah need *that* 'cause ah ain't gonna hang waiting for yah to
get tired of him!"

"Remy want scars!" He burst out, unable to hold back any longer.
"W'ant that someone put der mark on him. Logan don do anyt'ing I don
want. Make me fly, cherie. Love you, me but never fly wid you! Remy
cried the day those marks were gone!"

Marie stared at him in helpless horror. "Ah can't! Ah can't do this!
Get out ah hear, Rems! There's enough hurting in my world ah can't be
doing this no more! Ah tried, ah swear Remy. Ah love ya, ah can't
help it but ah ain't gonne go through this no more! Yah gotta go! Go
now!"

"Marie!"

"Get out!" She screamed and threw her clock at him. Remy ducked and
it shattered on the door and he stumbled out into the hall, her wailing
sobs following him like accusing ghosts down the hall.

He sat on the top step, unable to cry. Sick with misery but unable to
let it out. Remy didn't want to go on like this. It couldn't end
like this. He could feel her hurting behind him, he didn't want to
leave. He wanted to go back and make it better. Her pain was so
terrible, he had to fix it. It was his fault. His problem. He should
be the one to fix it. And he couldn't - because there was something
broken inside him. Something that would give up everything Marie
offered for something no one understood, no one accepted. Love for
what? He didn't even know - and worse - he didn't know if Logan would
even take him back. Remy clutched his stomach, sweating in sudden
fear, and tried not to be sick. If his boss wouldn't take him back
he'd have nothing.

He was afraid to find out but he couldn't stay here. Half the
household was awake, he could hear Scott speaking to a couple of kids
downstairs, telling them to go back to bed, he'd look into it.
Remy dragged himself to his feet and headed down.

"Remy - " Scott said sleepily as the thief passed him. "Was that you
and Marie? Is there a problem?"

Remy shook his head bitterly. "Non. Not'ing different. De same
problem we always got. Can't stand each other."

Scott reached out and touched him lightly and there was some honesty
sympathy there. It made Remy want to throw himself on the field leader
and beg him to make everything alright. He began to tremble.

"The two of you need to find some other way besides yelling to deal
with your problems." Scott said. "I'd been hoping the counseling
would help with that -"

"Remy hoping too." He said softly. "Remy hope de counseling make it
all better - but dat not how it works, homme. Nothing going to make
things better with de femme and me."

"You love each other." Scott said. "You'll find a way."

Remy shuddered and pulled away.

"Where are you going?"

"Walk, me."

"Don't run away. We've had enough of that lately."

Remy just shook his head and walked faster.

The moon was past full and there was plenty of light for his eyes.
Remy headed towards the south end where the mansion bordered on the
state park. Logan usually went there, to listen to the owls and
occasionally poach deer. Remy prayed he could find him.

Logan wasn't hunting, not tonight. Remy caught sight of the orange
glow of his cigar and headed towards him. The Canadian didn't move,
only watched him approach.

"L-logan?" He said hesitantly.

"Yeah."

Remy shifted from foot to foot. As far as he could tell, the other man
wasn't even angry. He was - nothing. Simply there. His empathy slid
off him like oil from water. "Talk us?"

Logan shrugged. "What we got to talk about?"

Not even a nickname and it was like Logan didn't even care enough to
get angry. Remy tried again, to read him, cursing the training Logan
had gotten from the Weapon X project at such a high cost.

"Marie an Remy - dat not work, cher."

"You made that not my problem no more."

"Please - "

Logan shook his head and drew on his cigar. The tip glowed bright for
a moment then dimmed again. "Don't beg."

Remy twisted his hands in his coatsleevs and dropped his voice, turning
on the charm. He had to get Logan to listen. He had to. "Talk me,
trying to work dis all out. Need - "

Logan hit him, hard. Remy staggered back, startled.

"Don't you try that crap on me!" Logan snarled. "Need. What the hell
should I care about what you need? You ain't gonna be okay with what I
got and I ain't gonna watch you playin' me like a two bit mistress
desperate fer -"

Logan broke off and swallowed audibly. "I ain't talkin' about this,
kid. Ya make the choice ya made and we all gotta live with it 'cause I
ain't gonna leave my life behind fer you."

Remy shuddered in relief. Logan was so *angry*, furious, and miserable
and now - Remy knew it. He could feel it like he could feel the
deserved blood dripping down his chin.

"Logan, listen, s'v plait." Remy begged, reaching out and grabbing the
other man's arm when he would have turned away. "Listen, Marie and
Remy tried. We tried like you told Remy dat time and it still not
work. Femme still make Remy feel ashamed. Not - not gonna go back to
her, Remy swear it. Thought about dis, cher. Remy want what you got
for him. Remy was - was happy wid you. Happier den he been in a long
time. Remy dying 'cause he hurt you. Not want dat. Want to please
you. S'v plait. Remy treat you wrong and he sorry. Cher, he so
sorry."

Logan's arm was stiff but he didn't throw Remy off. "I ain't Marie and
I ain't gonna be yer yo-yo, Remy. What the hell ya gonna do when
y'hungry for love?"

Remy swallowed hard. "Remy - Remy love you, cher."

Logan drew in a hard breath and his voice was choked when he answered.
"That ain't enough. I - don't know - I ain't got much love left in me
kid. I ain't gonna pretend."

Remy let his hand slide down to hold Logan's hand. "I know what you
feel for me, cher. It's enough. It's more than you think."

Remy fumbled in his pocket and pulled out the little strap of leather.
The tiny bell rang. He offered it to Logan. It was all he had.
"Please. Anything. Anything you want - just give me another chance."

Logan stared at him and Remy waited, aching, terrified. His hand
trembled.

"I'm so fucking pissed at you, Remy." Logan growled. He grabbed Remy's
wrist, taking the collar away. Remy whimpered, hoping desperately that
it meant Logan would take him as well.

"Remy understand dat." He whispered. "Remy need - "

"Shut the fuck up about what you need!" Logan raged. "Fuck you! I
need something too, you little bitch! What the hell do you think you
deserve?"

"Nothing!" Remy cried, scared but more scared that Logan would abandon
him. "Anything you want. Anything to make it better. Remy sorry!
Remy swear he is."

"That's not enough!" Logan jerked him close to snarl in his ear.
"That's sure as hell not enough."

"W'at den?"

Logan slapped him again. "Shut the fuck up! Shut up!"

"I'll tell ya what ya gonna get." Logan bent to hiss in his ear. "Ya
gonna get what I think ya deserve and ya gonna take what I got ta give
ya and right now that's a lot a anger. Ya got me?"

"Oui! Remy hear you!" He tried not to struggle as Logan shoved him
around, dragging him deeper into the trees and out of sight of the
mansion. He was scared. There didn't seem to be anything but anger -
he wondered if Logan even liked him anymore and felt near tears at the
thought of losing the man's affection. He heard the snik of his claws
and Remy cried out in fear. Logan had never used them on him. Never.
He felt the tug as he belt and jeans were cut away.

"Ya want my forgiveness - huh?"

"O-Oui. Remy sorry. Remy swear he sorry!"

"I don't give it away, ya gotta earn it."

Logan was bent next to Remy, he could feel the man's harsh breathing.
Trembling, Remy dipped his head, pressing his forehead to the leaf
litter. "Remy will, swear, Remy work hard. Remy do anyt'ing."

Logan growled, the sound rolling from deep in his belly and shoved
Remy's face to the ground. He kneed Remy's side sharply and the thief
uncertainly drew his knees up, lifting his ass. Logan's hands were
hard on his wrists, pinning his hands behind his back and holding him
in place. Logan stroked his ass and Remy whimpered while his cock
swelled hopefully.

Then that hand cracked down on his bare ass and Remy lurched forward
with a shocked cry. Logan's hand closed like a trap on his wrists, his
elbow dug into Remy's back and the other man pinned him in place.
Another hard blow and another cry was jolted from the thief. He
twisted his hands in Logan's grasp, already aching. This wasn't a
game. Wan't for fun. Remy cried out again, writhing as Logan began to
spank him ruthlessly hard.

He jerked and panted, struggling for self control and Logan only hit
him harder. His ass burned and *hurt* and the crack of Logan's hand
echoed though the trees. Logan was angry and drumming that anger, that
rage, out on Remy's naked flesh. The thief's panting got louder and
louder, turning to short, frantic cries.

"S'v plait - !" He broke, begging. "S'v plait. Non - no more, boss.
Please! Remy be good. Remy be good!"

Logan snarled sharply. Remy wailed, he wasn't stopping. He wasn't.
Remy ached, burned all over, and the sting of his ass was agonizing.
He begged, desperate, promised anything. He'd be good. Couldn't catch
his breath. Couldn't stop struggling, lurching clumsily ever time
Logan's hard hand came down on him.

"No more!" He wailed. "Remy can't take no more! Boss -!"

"I'll tell ya when y' can't take it, brat." Logan panted. "You'll
take what I got and like it! 'Cause yer mine! Mine and no one put's
their hand on ya less I say so! Mine! Mine! Mine!"

His hand come down in time with his words and Remy began to sob
suddenly. "Boss - yours. Remy yours. Please -!"

Then he was crying so hard he couldn't talk. Couldn't think, sobbing
and flinching and wailing in wordless, hopeless surrender. He sobbed
harder as he realized that his tears were what Logan was looking for.
The man's touch gentled and the anger settled, soothed by Remy's
weeping. Finally, he seemed satisfied. The Canadian curled over him,
holding Remy under his body and nuzzling the nape of his neck. His
jeans rubbed Remy's burning ass but the thief pressed himself back
anyway, offering him to Logan. Still crying.

Logan bit the nape of his neck firmly and Remy shuddered. Moaned, face
wet with tears. Logan's fingers were at his mouth and he sucked
eagerly.

"That's right." Logan breathed, his voice heavy and dark. He bit Remy
again. "My pretty thief."

He nosed at Remy's hair and hissed.

"Ya stink of her." He leaded back, pulling his fingers from Remy's
mouth. The thief remained where he was, bowed to the ground, half
naked, his ass still twitching and red.

Remy heard Logan unzip and shivered, wanting and scared. Logan began
to jack himself, kneeling behind the thief. His breathing roughened,
caught and Remy felt the spatter of cum on his back then Logan's hands,
rubbing it over his skin.

Then those fingers were at his mouth again, slick with Logan's seed and
Remy licked them clean eagerly. The man's hand pressed under his body,
grabbing his cock. Remy whimpered and responded, pushing into the firm
grip. He was getting hard despite the still intense pain of his ass.
He moaned around the fingers fucking his mouth. So good. He'd missed
this so much. Logan's touch, his weight, his demands.

"Give me what I want, brat." Logan whispered. "Come fer me. Yer
mine. No one else's. Mine. Y'come fer me now - now!"

Remy, gratefully, obeyed. Spilling over Logan's hand with a soft moan.

Lying under Logan, half crushed under his weight, Remy heard a high
pitched little sound. The other man grabbed his wrist, Remy dragged
his eyes open as he felt the cool touch of the leather. Logan pulled
the little collar snug around his left wrist. Remy blinked.

"This don't come off." Logan said in his ear. He ran a thumb over the
glittering rhinestones and jingled the bell. "You understand me?"

"Yes, boss." Remy whispered. He pulled his arm close and kissed the
red leather. Logan smiled against his cheek and licked at his tears.
"Remy yours."

"Mine."

END