What love is

Remy stared at the blank wall, eyes half closed. Logan was moving
around in the room, washing up, getting dressed. The thief was aware
of him, but his calm breathing never changed, his bound form didn't
struggle or flinch. He'd been bound, gagged and put on his knees
facing a bare corner of Logan's room more than an hour ago. Logan had
settled into a more traditional meditation behind him. They'd been
following the same pattern for a week or so; every morning, after any
chores, Remy was put in the corner while Logan meditated. He
discovered he liked the reliable routine. He was beginning to feel
that maybe Logan really *was* going to be there every day.

Afterwards, Remy would sneak back to his room, pull himself out of his
submissive mindset, wash and dress. Sometimes he'd take a nap - he
sure wasn't used to getting up at seven or eight in the morning.
Occasionally he'd join Logan and the professor - who was also a morning
person - for an early breakfast. He made the odd discovery that Logan
and the professor were good friends; in those early hours when the
house was still quiet, they'd gossip, discuss the students, argue about
the Dream. It sort of made sense, Logan was at least as old as the
professor, if not older. At first he'd felt horribly out of place,
sure he was ruining some good thing for them. Logan had punished him
rather severely when he'd confessed this.

"Okay, pet." Logan murmured behind him, unlocking the cuffs on his
hands. Remy blinked and rubbed his wrists - habit only, the cuffs fit
perfectly and didn't interfere in his circulation. Logan took off the
gag as well and rubbed Remy's jaw gently. "Y'back with me?"

"Mm." Remy yawned. "Oui, boss."

"Y'doing real good with this, pet." Logan kissed the back of his neck.
Remy shivered and leaned back against his boss. The first few times
Logan had put him in the corner, Remy had been sure it was some kind of
horrible punishment and he'd nearly wept with frustration and boredom.
Finally, Logan had sat behind him, holding Remy against his chest and
showing him how to breathe, how to relax and try to let his mind go
quiet. It had been a bit of a struggle, learning to go quiet inside as
well as out. Now, Remy was beginning to see why Logan meditated -
sometimes he managed to carry a little of that quiet with him through
the day.

"Merci. Got to wash, boss." Remy stood and stretched, scratching at
his thigh where one of Logan's more severe bites itched.

"Gonna join us?" Logan asked.

Yawning Remy shook his head. "P'robly not, boss. Tired, me."

Logan smiled at him and ruffled Remy's hair. "Okay. See ya at
practice, brat."

Remy took Logan's hand and kissed it, rubbing his cheek against his
knuckles. Logan snorted in good humor and left. Remy listened at the
door, a few moments later he heard Logan whistling softly - his signal
that the hallway was clear. Remy wrapped his robe around himself and
slunk quickly back to his room.

This was the thing he hated. Sneaking around, hiding, pretending.
Remy climbed tiredly into bed and cuddled around a spare pillow. He
wanted to wake up in Logan's bed, he wanted to be gagged because Logan
wanted it, not because he had to be kept quiet. At the same time, Remy
couldn't imagine telling anyone about their relationship. He didn't
want his unpopularity among the X-men rub off on Logan. Remy touched a
bruise on his biceps - and he'd never found a way to explain this to
anyone. Look what had happened when he'd tried with Marie. He
squeezed the pillow and shut his eyes.

Remy woke up a few hours later, running late for practice. He hurried
through a shower and into his workout clothes - he glanced at the
mirror to make sure that none of Logan's marks showed and headed out
carrying his sneakers. He'd put them on in the elevator.

"Remy?"

The familiar voice jerked him to an abrupt halt. "Cherie?"

Marie came out of her room, wearing a tight lycra top and snug workout
pants. He couldn't help but look, caught her smile and flushed,
looking quickly away. Remy shifted from foot to foot uneasily, wishing
Logan was here. Or that he had his shoes on, at least. "You back den,
Marie? 'Ow's de mom?"

Marie's smile wilted slightly at Remy's cool welcome. "Yeah, sugah. I
couldn't stay away from yah charmin' self. She's doin' good, hon. We
talked - about a bunch of things."

Marie was obviously waiting for Remy to ask more questions. Remy only
smiled faintly. He wanted to, oh - hug her, kiss her. Make her feel
welcome. He'd missed Marie. But he didn't.

"Coming to practice, Cherie?" He tried to sound as friendly as
possible. Friendly, not lover-like. He wasn't going to start up with
Marie - not again. No.

"Yeah."

They shared the elevator in not particularly comfortable silence. Remy
put his shoes on. His stomach tightened as they walked to the danger
room together. Logan was going to be there. He didn't have any idea
how the other man would react to seeing Marie.

Logan didn't. They got through practice somehow, Scott finally
snapping at Rogue to pay attention - this wasn't high school gym for
god's sake. He didn't have kind words for the thief either - Remy knew
he off time but and reminded himself firmly that he was a professional,
Logan was a professional and what was he expecting anyway? Logan to
throw him down in front of everyone and *prove* he owned him? Remy
stirred restlessly, the stab of longing making him flinch. He could
feel Marie's eyes on him all through the grueling session. What the
hell was he supposed to do?

He fled, stomach aching. Hurrying out of the danger room, he heard
Scott call Logan back and he *knew* what they were talking about. Him.
And Marie. He'd overheard the conversations before - how long their
breakup was going to last, how long would their impaired efficiency
last. How Scott should handle the team with the two of them moping and
fighting. He wondered, with a wince, if Jube and Bobby had started up
the betting pool again. How long before he and Marie were sleeping
together - it was almost a joke. There'd been times when they'd found
it pretty funny too. Not now. At least Remy knew that Scott was
motivated by nothing more than the safety of the team. He wondered
what Logan was saying.

Remy retreated to the roof, the most private place in the mansion, and
smoked obsessively. It was still chilly but not horrible. The sun was
hidden behind Spring clouds and it looked like it might rain. Remy
sighed and pulled his coat closer. He didn't want to deal with this.
With Marie just aching to make it up - still so in love with him. He
could feel it and Remy didn't know how to turn away from it. And he
wasn't sure he wanted to. Yes, Logan drove him mad with pleasure.
Gave him a security he'd thought he'd lost with his wife. Gave him the
precise thing he needed - craved - but was it love?

***************************************************

The boy was losing his mind. Logan had seen it in practice, the stress
in the fine body. The way Remy glanced between him and Marie like a
rabbit cornered by two wolves. It wasn't easy to just let him be, it
hurt to see his pet like that.

Logan stopped in the kitchen for a six pack, ignoring Jean's brief
attempt at conversation. He cleared out the smallest TV room with a
growl. He wanted to hole up someplace dark and sulk. He didn't know
what the boy would do. It might be time to stop calling the pretty
thief his boy. If only the woman had stayed away for a little longer.
Remy wasn't settled enough to handle this. He knew the sweet thief
couldn't stand it when someone was hurting - one of the costs of hie
empathy - and Logan wasn't sure he would be able to turn Rogue down.
He'd never done it before. He owned the boy's body but the heart
beating so sweetly was still a mystery. The boy ached for love. Logan
could give him a steady hand , mind blowing pleasure, he could make him
fly but - he didn't know about love.

He rubbed the cool bottle against his lips. He was - tired. Afraid
and he knew it. He closed his eyes for a moment and Mariko's face
built itself behind his eyes. And the memory of her heart spasming
around his claws made his hands twitch. Not the first, not the only
but - god - maybe she was the last. Logan wasn't sure he could love
again. Maybe something had died in the unkillable mutant, finally. If
he couldn't love the boy, he couldn't keep him. Logan stared at the
darkened TV screen, eyes flat and emotionless. The boy deserved love.
Logan didn't deserve shit if he couldn't love him.

***************************************************

"Sugah?"

Remy started and lit another cigarette from the stub hanging out of his
mouth. The roof wouldn't keep Marie away. He recalled the time they'd
come up here and screwed like two crazy lapin under the full moon,
Marie laughing so hard she nearly fell off the roof. The memory must
have shown on his face because Marie smiled at him, so hopeful that
Remy heart ached.

"Looked for you last night, hon. Yah weren't in yah room." She
started, sitting beside him, upwind of the smoke.

"Remy was out -" He lied automatically. He'd spent the night chained
to Logan's bed, contentedly asleep. He tugged at his shirt collar
uncomfortably reminded of the bruises and bites that marked him.

Marie nodded. "I was thinking, sugah. Thought a lot. 'Bout what we
were arguing about when I left, hon."

"Oui?" Remy shoved his cigarette into his mouth, his hands were
shaking.

"Ah love ya, swamp rat." Marie leaned over, curling her hand around
the back of his neck. "I ain't gonna lose yah to some - someone else.
Someone who ain't gonna love yah like ah do. Someone who just wants
tah - use yah. I ain't leaving yah to that."

Remy stiffened. "Remy told you, Cherie. Need dis thing and you not
going to give it, eh?"

Marie liked her lips, staring hard at him. Her hand tightened very
carefully on his neck. "Ahm gonna give yah what yah need, hon."

Remy blinked and she swooped in to kiss him. It was a hard kiss.
Demanding and - god - it was *Marie*. Remy yielded before his brain
had any chance to vote. He opened to her probing tongue, sensing
inexperience, and uncertainty and - love. He moaned and melted against
her. Love. Yes, Dieu, yes.

Marie pushed him back, straddling him, green eyes bright. "Ahm gonna
do what yah need. 'Cause I love yah, y'nut."

"Oui." Remy gasped. "Oui, Cherie. Anyt'ing you want. S'v plait.
Remy make you feel good, Cherie."

This close to her, Remy could feel the uncertain flicker of her
emotions. Love, unease, and a powerful wash of desire that make Remy
moan and his cock swell in his pants. Marie grinned, rolling her hips
as she felt him getting hard. "That's real good, hon. Really good."

She leaned down and kissed him again. Remy moaned into her open mouth,
nibbling on her tongue. She pushed a hand under his shirt and stroked
his nipples and the thief moved under her, thrusting up, grinding
against her crotch. When she pulled his shirt off, a little roughly,
she paused.

"Ah - Rems. Hon -" She said softly and her desire faded. She touched
his ribs, very gently. Remy winced. "Who did this tah yah? I'll kill
her!"

"Non, Cherie." He tried to roll out from under her, stomach tightening
unpleasantly again, but Marie simply sat harder and pinned him down.
"Never mind, dis. Not fer you, Marie."

"No. You ain't going nowhere, Rems." Determination rose up in her, she
held his shoulders against the rough roof and kissed him again. Slid
down to suck his nipples, nibble at him. She carefully avoided the
bruises and bites already there. Gave him her own instead. Marked him
as hers. "Ahm gonna keep yah. I'm gonna take care of yah and no one is
gonna treat yah bad."

Remy was moaning and clutching her hair. He was hoplessly confused.
Aching with longing, not sure who he belonged to. Anyone. He belonged
to anyone who wanted him. He couldn't help but respond. He'd missed
her so much and she was *here* and touching him. Pulling his zipper
down, stroking his cock, and he was so glad that Logan hadn't put a
harness on him today. Her mouth, sucking - teasing until Remy
whimpered and begged. "Cherie - s'v plait. Cherie -!"

"Yah gotta give me what I want, Rems." She said, forcing some
harshness into a voice that wanted to be tender. Remy could feel it,
he knew this was so hard for her but - it was so good. What he'd
longed for. Marie to take him in hand. He kicked off his clothes and
reverently stripped her, head bent submissively. The touch of her hand
on his hair was full of - pity - and tears welled suddenly in his eyes.
But he didn't stop. He couldn't.

He licked his way down her body, sucking on her swelling nipples until
she hissed and dragged him lower. The pity was gone, lost in lust.
That was so much better. He licked and teased and sucked, lost in the
salt taste of her until she rolled her hips and demanded that he fuck
her. Now. Do what I tell you.

Agonizingly exited, he pressed his cock inside her. Marie heaved her
hips and dragged him close, her hands slid down his body to cup his
ass, squeeze him. Remy bit his lip to smother the whimper as she dug
into old bruises. It felt good. It reminded him of Logan and he
thrust hard, struggling to forget. And he was forgetting, forgetting
anything besides Marie under him, demanding he please her. Remy wanted
to please her, feel her pleasure. Ignore the unease hovering at the
edge. Just feel. So slick and hot and open and she made him fuck her
just the way *she* wanted. Which was just the way he wanted it. The
fluttering clench strengthened around him suddenly as she came and Remy
wailed her name, arching up and coming hard.

Marie wrapped her arms around him, panting. Hopeful and not entirely
happy. But loving him. "That was okay, Rems? What yah needed?"

"O-oui." Remy said, closing his eyes. Hoping desperately that he was
telling the truth. "Oui."

***************************************************

He couldn't get drunk and he was tired of listening to the kids racing
around, peering into the room and whispering about him in the halls.
Logan climbed to his feet and thew away the bottles. He was resisting
the impulse to find his boy and make sure he knew who was boss. The
thief had the right to decide what he wanted and if he wanted Marie,
there wasn't a damn thing Logan could do about it. He hadn't put a
permanent mark on the boy - no collar, no piercing, no brand or tattoo.
It was only the last couple of weeks that Logan had been sure he could
train the kid to his tastes and he wasn't going to claim a pet who
couldn't take what he could dish out. Wasn't fair to either of them
and it was damn dangerous. He was already restless enough that he had
to real careful handling Remy. The need to hurt his pet was starting
to get urgent. And about the time he was sure the boy would fly for
him, Marie comes back to stick her damn pretty nose in again.

"Fuck." Logan sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and listened to
the rain start up. At the stairwell, his ears pricked as heard Marie -
and Remy. The girl was happy. Remy's voice less so.

"This is gonna work this time, Rems." Marie was saying excitedly.
"Just need tah talk more, you an' me. Not take anything for granted.
Ah can do this - if yah help me."

"Remy do w'at he can, Cherie." Remy responded, uneasily. "Not so easy
to talk 'bout some'times."

"We'll work it out, hon." She said gently. "It's going tah be
alright, you'll see. I'll take care of yah."

Logan's lips skinned back and he started silently up the stairs. He
had to see, had to know. He swung out of the stairwell to see Remy and
Marie by the open window. Remy saw him and jerked away from Marie,
eyes widening in dismay. Their tangled hair, hastily buttoned and damp
clothes told Logan what he needed to know. He turned and clattered
back down the stairs, he wasn't going to get violent. The edges of his
vision were red with betrayal and rage. Damn the boy!

"Logan -!" Remy's voice followed him and Logan growled. "Wait - s'v
plait!"

He heard the thief running after him and Marie's surprised protest.
Logan pulled to a stiff halt. He didn't run from nothing and he wasn't
going to run from this. Breathing hard through his nose, he waited for
Remy to catch up.

"What the hell you want, gumbo?" He snarled.

"S'v plait, talk me!"

The scent of him hit Logan then, sex. Marie. It was too much. Logan
snatched Remy's shirt and swung the thief into the wood paneling.
Slammed him against the wall a couple of times, fighting the itch to
bury his claws in the boy, show him just who he was jerking around.
Remy didn't fight back, didn't resist him at all and that only made
Logan angrier. Playing the pet.

"Ya shoulda done some talking a couple of hours ago, y'little fuck!
Before ya screwed the girl!" He snarled into Remy's anguished face.
"What the hell y'thinking? Y'just gonna leave me hanging fer when ya
need some slappin' around? Y'think I was writin' ya pretty poems when
I told ya I don't share?"

"N-non!" Remy managed, trembling, tears trailing down his face. "Boss
-"

"Don't call me that!" Logan slammed him into the wall again, harder.
A picture fell off, glass shattering.

"Rems - Logan, what the hell yah doing?" Marie shouted from the top
of the stairs. They ignored her. "You take yah fucking hands offa
him!"

"Please - Remy wasn't t'inking!" He cried desperately, blinking
dazedly. The thief had hit his head pretty hard. "Remy jus feel! Not
want to be hurting - not w'ant anyone to be hurting."

Logan leaned close, putting his weight on the boy and snarled softly in
his ear - revolted and furious at the scent on the kid's skin. Someone
was poaching his property. "Yeah, well it ain't gonna work that way,
kid. Y'gonna be hurtin' someone no matter what ya do. I don't share
and I sure as hell aint' gonna share ya with a two bit hero who thinks
all it takes to handle ya is a little slap and tickle. Y'think she's
gonna take ya far enough? Ya think ya can train her to top ya? You
better hope so, brat, 'cause I ain't gonna touch ya with her stink on
ya!"

"De femme *loves* Remy!" Remy cried helplessly.

Logan flinched. He tired to hang onto the rage but he couldn't - and
what was left was pain. The thief's eyes spilled over suddenly and he
clutched Logan's arms. Logan shook him off and let go of his shirt,
stepping back and looking away. Just in time as Marie came up, staring
at them, flushed with anger and confused.

"Fine." Logan said shortly and turned away. Love. He knew he could
give Remy everything else - everything but love.

"Non!" Remy wailed. "S'v plait!"

Logan ground his teeth and ignored him, aching at the pain in the kid's
voice. Wasn't his to handle anymore. He started down the stairs
again, grimly ignoring the boy's sudden sobs. The thief was going to
have to sleep in the bed he'd made.

"Rems - !" Marie put her arm around the Cajun. "Remy - hon - yah
weren't fucking Logan were yah? Rem - how could yah!"

"S'v plait! Don know w'at to do, me!"

Logan winced, shaking his head as if that would shake the pain out and
kept going.

"Non! NON!"

TBC