Title: Thief of Hearts
Author: Annakas
Feedback: Sure I would love to have some. annaliisa@offline.ee
Rating: PG-13 for a couple of swear words.
Archive: Sure if anyone wants it. Just let me know where you put it.
Pairing: Gambit/Wolverine; past Gambit/Rogue
Warning: Slash in all its glory.

A/N: My first X-men ficlet so please don't kill me if it is below the
average. It's from Remy's point of view. The accent is almost
nonexistent because I don't know how to write it properly, but it is
there if you look deeply, very, very, very deeply. Also Melody has my
biggest thank you's for doing an incredible beta for my humble
ficlet. Dedicated to Morgana for introducing me to the X-men fandom
and Gambit.

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men.

Thief of Hearts

I am watching him again. It's an obsession now. He is de only thing
dat keeps me sane and, funnily enough, it looks like he has no idea
what so ever of my interest in him.
It is sad - I never looked at him like dat before... Well, I
never thought many things before de D-day either. It is so very sad
of me, non? How could I miss it? How could I be so blind? I am a
frigging empath for gods sake, and all de time I have been mooning
over dat bitch and miss de real thing under my own nose!
Then again, I was too afraid to use my empathy before, but
still I had no idea at all and I have always prided myself in
recognising and knowing an interest in me. I know why dat is so. I
was just too proud and cocky; and definitely too full of myself, full
of my so called charm and beauty. In reality full of crap and so
very, very, very blind.
I have hurt him very much with my behaviour, with my coldness
and false superiority. And de results of dat? Now he only observes
me. My ignorance of his feelings has hurt him a lot. Dat much I can
tell even without my empathy.
How did it feel for him to see me throwing myself at her feet
and begging like a masochist for de things she could not... non, non,
non! Things she could, but would not give, when turning to him I
could have had it all? It isn't like Rogue couldn't have slapped a
collar on herself. But with him there wouldn't have been a need for
collars, except if Wolverine has some kink I am not aware of, but hey
I am flexible and I have every intention to learn everything about
his kinks.
I am losing track of my thoughts. Where was I? Ahh, yes, I
could have gotten everything from him. His mind, his body, his soul
and his beautiful heart if only I would have asked him, reached out
for him, bloody hinted at interest in him! He would have come and
given it to me.
How could he stand it, to see de strings of total strangers,
both hommes and femmes, walking through my bedroom when me and Rogue
were in an off stage in our so called relationship? I don't even
remember how many times we broke it off and two weeks later came back
together so dat we could break it off next week again.
I know dat I could not stand it if he had lovers walking
around every corner. Oui; I am a little possessive of my things. And
yes, he is mine, he just doesn't know it yet. So I guess I am lucky
he does not have lovers, or even a lover. He has eyes only for me.
And if he had a lover, it would take enormous strength of will from
me not to scratch his lover's eyes out, or strangle de person who
dares to touch something dat is mine.
What sad eyes he has, and I am de reason for it. He never
tells nor hints about his interest, he is afraid of me hurting him.
Hurting his precious heart. And what a heart he has! Such a warm
place. Keeping me warm when he is around. A balm to my wounded soul
and crushed ego, when de only thing dat surrounds me is de hate of de
rest of my teammates and de cold of Antarctica. He is my safe haven,
my sanctuary, and he does not even know it.
De D-day, my death day, de day I died and was reborn in de
cold ice of Antarctica. De day I understood dat Rogue only used me to
boost her ego, as I used her in return to be safe from the closeness
of another being…
Merde! How did he feel when he heard about my betrayal and
death? Knowing someone you love as deep as he loves me has died? And
knowing dat de same person is responsible for de deaths of innocents?
He had to feel so helpless, and definitely some rage for not being
there to help. Because dat would be what I would feel if he were left
to die, and if he betrayed us.
I shudder at de thought of never finding out about his
feelings for me. It was pure accident after all, I mean, me finding
out about them. I had just come back to de X-men; he hadn't seen me
yet. My mental walls were so weak and then de disgust, rage and hate
from my teammates were weakening them even further. I had to stay in
de room and tell them about my survival, my regret, my guilt. Warren
and Rogue's hate weakening my will, Scott and Storm's disgust, and
all de others with their not so kind words, thoughts and feelings. I
thought I would throw up if I had to stay in de same room with them
for even a second more. Their feelings were making me cold and numb.
I am always cold these days, no warmth at all.
And then when I had lost all hope of surviving their
interrogation he stepped into de room. I could feel his grieving and
sadness. He didn't notice me at first, but when he did he gasped with
surprise. There was shock and then suddenly such a warmth, love,
happiness at seeing me alive, seeing me, Remy LeBeau, de master thief
of de guild in New Orleans. I could breathe again. His care and his
joy drove de other dark depressing feelings away, his love covered
me, kept me safe and warm.
Oh so very warm. I had almost forgotten de good feelings
humans were capable of. He gave me a little smile and then his face
went blank, neutral, but de warm fuzzy feelings stayed. If I were not
an empath I would never have known dat he loves me so deeply.
At first I tried to convince myself dat he felt only lust,
but I could not lie to myself. Oh, there was desire, a lot of it, and
love - so much dat my knees almost gave out; but there was also such
a great sadness and longing, and a will to not go and take what he
wanted - namely me. And dat made me sad in return.. He didn't trust
me to keep his heart safe. Oui, he trusted me to watch his back on a
mission, he would even trust secrets to me, but not his precious,
warm, caring heart.
But then again, had I given him reasons to trust me so?
Certainly not! De way I used Rogue as she did me in return didn't
exactly give me de reputation for being capable of keeping his heart
whole and not broken. Nor did de masses of different lovers I had
when Rogue and I were on an off period again. This certainly didn't
give him de impression of me being capable of devotion and monogamy.
Not dat I ever cheated on Rogue. When I took other lovers we were
always on an off period in our relationship. Anyway, so he kept quiet
and isstill keeping so.
He hurts himself when he has no reason to do so. I would
cherish his love and protectiveness! He hurts with a broken heart
when there is no reason to hurt.
But I will fix it soon. I will do whatever I have to do to win his
trust, to keep his heart whole and safe from harm. I will seduce and
woo him with all my being, all my skill; and I do have a lot of skill
even if I say so myself. I will bare my soul to him and hope he
believes me, he has to, otherwise... life would not be worth living
anymore.
He is my sun, my hope, my all. Does he really not know his
heart is already mine to keep? No, he does not, he tries to resist,
to deny; but I will not let him. I have stolen de most precious
treasure in my life, his heart, without even knowing it, and I will
keep it, keep it safe… he just does not know it yet.
I can not believe dat I once thought he was not desirable,
too short, too hairy, too grumpy, de annoying smell of cigars, de bad
taste in clothes and a mind of questionable worth. But now, he is not
short but strongly earthy, he stands with his two feet on de ground.
Too hairy? Hell non! With all dat hair he will keep me warm after de
cold of Antarctica… He has very soft hair. Grumpy? Hell yes! But dat
is just de way he is. And his earthy smell will ground me, give me a
feeling of security. And his mind? So strong and very, very, very
loyal. A true alpha-male who will protect me from all de pain, if I
can convince him in my love as well.
How could I have been so blind? Ah, it does not matter
anymore, I know now and dat is all dat matters. I love him, I want
him; so I will have him, and he will have me in return. He does not
know of my plan yet. But he will know soon, very soon.
Logan - Wolverine, I am coming for you, and nothing can keep
me from you; now dat I know of your feelings for me. So you better
watch out because Remy LeBeau is on a hunt, and you will be de sweet
prey. De Thief of Hearts is working once more…

fin
 
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