Hearts in Shadow 3

Always the same.  Remy closed is door, very careful to avoid slamming
it.  He threw his bo-staff on his rumpled bedding and shrugged off his
uniform coat.  Unbuckled and pulled off his tall boots.  Off with the
rest of the uniform until all he wore was a wrinkled t-shirt and his
own sweat.  He caught sight of his own reflection in the dusty mirror
and stared into his red eyes, mouth twisted with bitter rage.

Yeah, we need a distraction, Gambit.  We need information, Gambit.  Go
make nice with the guards while we break into the complex. You can do
it.  No one says no to you, everyone wants you.  And everyone looking
at him, thinking one thing.

"Whore."  Remy whispered to the mirror.  "Slut.  Pede.  Cocksucker.
Faggot.  Yeah - that's all you're good for. Spread dem wide."

He pulled off the rumpled t-shirt and ran a hand down his chest,
closing a hand on his flaccid cock.  That's what he was good for.
Narrow-eyed, he pulled on himself, faster and harder - angry as he
remained soft.  Finally with a curse, Remy threw himself onto his bed
and closed his eyes.  He was tired.  That's all.  He pulled his
sleeping bag over his shoulders and tried to go to sleep.  He hated New
York, it was so fucking cold here.

******************

Cold.  He was so cold.  Remy huddled against the rough bricks, and
stared at the glittering knife in the man's hand.  "Monsieur, no hurt
Remy, s'v plait."

"Jes be 'a good chile and no hurting."  The man came closer, still
holding the knife and grabbed Remy's greasy hair.  "We have some fun,
eh, petite puson?"

"O-oui."  Remy whispered.  He was dragged by his hair away from the
wall and forced to his knees in the filthy alley.  He couldn't see
anything of his attacker except the big silhouette and the gleaming
knife in his hand.  Remy looked past the man's waist, just a few yards
away, the streets were crowded, brightly lit and noisy with mardi-gras
tourists.  No one saw him here, in the dark and dirt behind the glitter
of N'Orleans.

His attention was yanked back to the man with the knife.  The cold
blade touched his face, sliding down his cheek like ice.  Remy froze,
staring wide eyed up at his tormentor.

"T'eifs get hurt, cherie. T'iefs can get very hurt, eh?"

"S'v plait - s'v plait."  Remy begged in Cajun.  "Non.  Don h-hurt
Remy. Not a t'eif."

"Aren't you, chile?"

"Non!  Non!"

"Eh, w'at den?"  The man laughed, low and harsh, flicking the tip of
the knife across the child's lips and drawing a speck of blood.  "I
know - you a whore, chile?  I think so.  A whore - not wor't hurtin.
W'at you t'ink, eh?"

Remy blinked back tears of terror and pain.  "O-oui.  A whore.  Not w-
worth hurtin.  Jes a whore."

"Dat's right."  The man stroked the knife down Remy's thin cheek and
pressed the point under his chin.  With his other hand, he unzipped his
pants.  "Open up, chile.  Open wide, I got somethin' for y.'"

Remy did what he was told.

****************************

Remy sat bolt upright with a choked gasp and stared wildly around at
the cluttered, dusty room.  For a moment he didn't know where he was,
then the thief recognized the boathouse.  He'd kicked off the sleeping
bag that was his bed and shivered at the spring chill.

He lay back down and tried to go back to sleep.  Stared in silence at
the bare ceiling then abruptly rubbed his mouth, then his cheek where
the scar had faded a long time ago.  He got out of bed and climbed into
a pair of jeans and sneakers.  Hauling on his duster, Remy headed
towards the mansion.

The security wasn't any trouble, Remy had helped set some of it up, and
he padded silently up to the east end of the house where Logan's room
was tucked away under the eaves.  Logan stirred and sat up in bed when
Remy eased inside and shut the door.

"What?"  Logan said sleepily.

"Get over 'ere, cher."  Remy breathed, hands fisted in his pocket.
"Get over 'ere."

Logan didn't hesitate, he swung out of bed and walked over in nothing
but a pair of boxers.  "Rem -"

"Shut up, homme!"  The slim thief grabbed Logan and shoved him,
roughly, to his knees.  "Jus shut de hell up."

Remy stared down at Logan's wary face, breathing hard and shaking.  He
wasn't soft now - no he was so hard he hurt.  Logan's eyes were lost in
the darkness any sleepiness was gone, Remy could feel his alertness -
worry, distrust - a thread of uncertain excitement.  Remy stared down
at Logan with a thin, unpleasant smile.

"Oui."  He whispered. "Remy know what you are."

Logan reared back.  "What the hell is goin' on with you Rem?"

The thief snagged a handful of Logan's black hair then pulled a small
knife out of his pocket.  He flicked it open and ran the tip across the
other man's cheek.  He could feel the roughness of stubble against the
blade.  Logan's anxiety sharpened but that was alright - that was the
way it was supposed to be.  He was supposed to be afraid.

"You jus' do w'at Remy say, homme and no one get hurt, eh?"  Remy's
hand tightened in Logan's hair; he was desperate to get off - get out
of this - sick and hating himself and sick of the memories that haunted
him.  "Remy got some'tin for you."

Remy stroked Logan's face with the knife, the memories so strong
tonight that he could practically feel the blade on his own skin again.
But now he was the one with the knife.  No one could do that to him
again.  He was stronger now.  Remy was running the show.  The whore on
his knees would do what he wanted.  "Open wide, petite pusson."

"No."  Logan said quietly.  Remy blinked.

"Whore -!"  He hissed angrily and pressed the knife against Logan's
cheek, just below his eye.  "Do w'at I say!"

"No, Rem."  Logan repeated. With Remy's hand hard in his hair and the
sharp point of a knifeblade an inch from his eye, Logan didn't move -
but he didn't obey either.  "I'm not doin' this.  Not like this.  This
isn't what - either of us want."

Remy stared into Logan's hidden eyes.  This was supposed to be a game.
There were rules.  Logan did what he wanted.  Logan did what he was
told.  Logan was the whore now.  But it wasn't a game now, it wasn't
the way it had been, and why had he wanted to use a knife on Logan?
Remy began to shake, breath racing, his hand twitched and a bead of
blood welled at the tip of the knife.  Logan didn't stir, only watched
Remy warily.

"Non -"  Remy whispered, staring at the blood.  "Non!"

He threw the knife across the room with a horrified cry and fled.

"Rem -!"

************

Logan did find him.  Remy hadn't expected anything else and he huddled
against an oak tree, deep in the shadows and waited for the inevitable
words.  He didn't think Logan would hit him, at least.  He hoped not -
except that maybe he'd feel better if Logan did.

"Remy."

"Logan."  Remy whispered wearily, head hanging.  His breath smoked in
the chilly night and Remy wrapped his coat tighter around himself.

"What was that about?"  Logan circled the tree, silent even in last
years leaves, until he was standing in front of the cringing thief.
Remy stared at the ground, no wonder he was quiet.  Logan was barefoot.
Remy shivered.  "In there."

"Notin'"  Remy shook his head violently.  "Notin'  - an accident s'v
plait.  Remy screwing up, das all.  Remy not touch you - no more."

"I didn't say y'should keep yer hands off."  Logan crossed his arms and
sighed in a cloud of warm breath.  "I said I wanted t'know what's up
w'you."

"Notin'!"  Remy cried.  "Jus one fucked up, crazy t'eif, oui?  Screwed
up - fucked up - slut of a t'eif jus' messing up everyt'in he puts his
hands on!"

Logan stared at him.  "Why'd y'call me a whore?"

Remy closed his eyes.  "Dat's all dat concern you?  Remy nearly cut
your eye out, homme!"

Logan snorted.  "Y'won't be the first and y'trying t'avoid the
question.  Why'd y'call me that?  Y'think I'm a whore?"

"You?"  Remy shook his head.  "Non - you not de whore here, cher."

"But you are?"

"Ain't dat w'at everyone t'inks?"  Remy yelled.  "Gambit de whore!
Gambit - he fucks anyt'in dat don run fast enough away!  Send Gambit in
t'distract dem all!  Remy - he easy!  Remy take it up de ass for a
hamburger!"

"Rem -"

"Dat's de way it is!"  Remy flung at the Canadian.  "You ain't de first
in me - more people been in my ass den in gran' central station!  An
everyone know it!  I'm a whore - dats all I am!"

Logan shook him and Remy broke off with a gasp.  "That's enough, gumbo.
Y'think Cyke's a whore?  St. John?  Jubes?  No?  Me?"

"No -!"

"Yeah, well Scott was on the street for months before Chucky found him.
Same for Jubes and if y'think I wasn't gettin' fucked by Weapon X up
one side and down the other - "  Logan broke off and shook his head,
hands tightening briefly on Remy's shoulders before he let him go.  "We
all did shit to live, Rem.  Bad shit.  Stuff that left us hurtin'.  It
don't make you a whore if all the stuff - I - I did don't make me a
monster."

"Non - cher!"  Remy reached out gripping Logan's hands.  "You're no
monster, cher.  Remy t'ink you're the best of de lot of us."

"If the crap the team's asking y'to do ain't what y'want - say so,
dammit!"  Logan snapped as his hands tightened around Remy's fingers
gratefully.  "They'll push y'around - it ain't meanness - they'r just
lazy.  The first year I was with 'em - hell, they never said so but
they had me doin' their dirty work for 'em 'till I told 'em to fuck
off.  If they wanted some slob beat up - they had t'learn to do it
themselves."

"Angel said -"

"Yeah, well I've know beer smarter than he was!"  Logan interrupted
roughly.  "No one sets any store by what he says an'  none o'the others
think y'a whore."

Remy shook his head.

Logan leaned in close, breath warming Remy's cheek.  "Y'think I'm a
whore?"

"Remy said no."

"But I wanna suck your cock."  Logan whispered.  "I been thinkin' about
it for a while.  Wonderin' what y'taste like.  What's that make me?"

Remy shook his head, trembling.  He could feel the truth in Logan's
voice.  The honesty.  The desire.

"Cocksucker?"

"Non."

"Faggot?"

"Non!"

"Slut?"

"NON!"  Remy cried.  "You're not dat - not like dat!"

"Yeah?"  Logan ran his hand down Remy's chest to cup his crotch.  Began
to knead gently.  "An if I ain't a whore, a cocksucker, a faggot -
what's the French word? - an I wanna suck yer cock then y'cant be
niether.  I like it when y'go down on me.  I like it when we fuck.  You
like too?"

"Remy like -"  His voice was shaking.  He liked it.  The feel of Logan
inside him, the touch of him.  The way he tasted.  His cock swelled
eagerly and Remy's head fell back against the tree trunk.  "Remy like
all dos things."

"An I like those things.  And I ain't no whore so you ain't neither."
Logan kissed Remy softly, kissed his closed eyes, his chin, the cheeks
wet with tears.  "Y'beautiful Remy, sweet as honey, fine  - very fine
and y'no whore.  Y'like t'feel good and that ain't no crime. S'blessing
t'still be able to let go like y'can - ask Cyke or his lady 'bout that.
Or me.  Hell, I gotta get tied up t'let go.  Y'got a history and y'got
the scars t'show for it.  But it don't make you a whore.  Y'got me?"

Remy nodded hesitantly then turned to kiss Logan again.  Warm kisses in
the cold night, warm hands under his coat, tracing his body, Logan
pressed warm to him a heavy thigh sliding between Remy's legs to push
against his stiff cock. "You de one w'it the charm, cher.  Make me
believe anyt'ing you want."

"Good."  Logan growled.  "Cause I want you to show me how t'give
y'head.  I wanna suck you off."

"Deiu!"  Remy gasped, cock surging.  "Logan - "

"Yeah."

Remy could hear the grin in his voice as Logan sank to his knees in
front of Remy and looked expectantly up at him.

"Show me."

Panting, Remy stared down at Logan for a long moment.  The Canadian
didn't move, only waited.  Finally Remy unzipped his pants and eased
his rigid cock free, staying hard despite the cold.  He saw Logan lick
his lips and Remy's whole body twitched. "Cher - dis w'at y'want?"

Logan grinned.  "Hell, yeah."

Remy curled his hands into Logan's thick hair and drew him closer. "Den
kiss me, cher.  Kiss my cock."

Logan touched his lips to the tip of Remy's cock, tongue flicking out
to taste the moisture at the head.  Remy shuddered, staring down at the
dark head clasped in his hands.  Soft lips against his aching shaft.
The whisper of breath.  He was so hard.  Never been so hard, his cock
felt three times normal size - like he was going to explode on the
spot.

"Like that?"  Logan whispered, so close his lips brushed Remy's cock.

"Ahh - merde - Logan, you a tease."  Remy gasped, eyes fixed on the
sight of Logan on his knees.  "Don stop."

Logan kissed him again then responded to Remy's gentle tugging and
mouthed his way down the stiff shaft.  Remy just quivered helplessly
ever time Logan's mouth touched his burning cock.  The Canadian braced
one hand on Remy's hip, the other moving to unzip his pants and pull
his own cock free.  Remy groaned again - stunned to think of Logan
jerking himself while he sucked Remy's cock.

Logan was licking him now and the thief stopped thinking of anything
else.  Stared at his own glistening shaft and watched that mouth move
on him.  Felt the fever ache of pleasure - want - hunger.  The tip of
his cock was just drooling with pleasure.  The Canadian snuffled in his
pubic hair, breathing deep.  Smelling him, Remy realized.  Moaned and
dragged that perfect mouth to where he wanted it.

"Cher - cher, come on, cher."  Remy panted.  "Take me in dat mouth.
Remy dying for it."

The head of his cock dragged across heavy stubble, leaving a slick
trail and making Remy whimper.  Soft lips touched him, soothed him -
opened and he sank into the velvet heat of Logan's mouth.  Stiffened,
hand clenched in Logan's hair until he could control himself and Remy
was sure he wasn't going to come right then.  He didn't want to come
yet.  He wanted this to last forever.

But Logan was sucking on him, Remy whined, hips twitching forward.
Logan's hungry mouth took him deeper, tongue coaxing, stroking.
Beautiful.  Beautiful mouth wrapped around his shaft, Remy rocked his
hips, watching his cock slide in and out as he thrust shallowly.
Logan's arm brushed against his shin occasionally as the other man
pulled at his cock.  He could spend the rest of his life like this.

Logan shifted forward, taking Remy's cock deep then he gagged suddenly
and flinched back.  Tried again, sucking him - choked.

"Damn it!"  Logan pulled free, a strand of saliva trailing from the tip
of Remy's cock to his lips and the sight - obscene, intimate - made the
thief shudder.  "Show me - I want -"

The Canadian's voice was undignified, shaking.  Frustrated.  Remy ran
his fingers over his face soothingly.  "Easy, cher.  Der a trick to it.
Here - swallow, s'v plait.  Swallow when Remy push in.  Don suck. Relax
and swallow -"

Remy cupped one hand under Logan's chin, the other on the back of his
head and eased his cock back in, biting his lip.  He was trembling,
almost scared.  He wanted this to be perfect, he ached with tenderness
as Logan took him in again, tried to swallow him down and gagged.  Remy
stroked his throat, pushed gently.  Crooned under his breath.  He'd
never had to show anyone how to do this before - it scared him that
Logan wanted him to be the first.  Logan wanted him like this so much.
It awed him that Logan wanted to share this with him.  With him.  He'd
never been anyone's first.

"Ahh - der - der, cher.  Relax for Remy, you so beautiful.  So good.
Cher - amourex." Remy breathed, not knowing what he was saying, pouring
the words out as he stroked Logan's throat, rocked forward and held on
through the brief choke, pushed again.  Logan swallowed, throat flexing
and Remy followed the motion with his cock - slid in.  Deep.  All the
way.

Logan's hand tightened brusingly on Remy's hip and he pulled back
almost immediately.  Remy whined.  Logan swallowed him down again,
determinedly.  Remy soothed him, tracing the wet lips with his finger,
letting Logan control the pace.  Keeping one hand on his chin just to
feel the way his throat moved as Remy fucked his mouth.  Couldn't stop
the rhythm now.  Thrusting, shallow, shallow then deep.  Logan sucking
eagerly, jacking himself in the same pattern.

Couldn't stop.  Logan making these muffled noises.  Hungry.  Liking
Remy.  Liking Remy's cock.  Sucking him. Letting Remy do this, letting
Remy sink into his throat.  Letting Remy be the first to do this.
Loving it so much that it was making Logan come too.

"Aah - ahh!  Logan -!"  Remy wailed, stiffening, hips hitching forward
as he shot into Logan's mouth.  Cried out, nearly screaming, as he felt
Logan' swallow, gag - Remy pulled back with a whimper.  The Canadian
gave a choked cry, coughing.  His hand pumping hard for a couple of
strokes then he groaned and came, spilling into the leaves at Remy's
feet.

Knees weak, Remy sank down and kissed Logan.  Tasted himself in the
other man's mouth with a little shock, still not quite believing what
his cock knew so well.  Logan's mouth.  Around him.  The other man was
breathing hard, catching his breath.  Remy brushed little kisses over
his face, stroking him, murmuring reassuring nonsense.

"S'good?"  Logan asked, teasing - but Remy was aware of the
vulnerability hidden behind the tease.  Logan was anxious, wanting to
know he'd pleased Remy.

"Ahh - cher, you de best at everyt'ing you do, eh?"  Remy murmured in
his ear.  "Everyt'ing."

Logan chuckled, pleased.  "You got that right, Rem."
 

TBC