Johan's Tavern
Message Board

"A Smurf is nothing but a *very small* Pict"
--- Ld.Conor na Mara

MONGOL HORDES SACK U.S. 

An estimated $800 billion in damage was
caused Monday when a horde of
bloodthirsty Mongols sacked and pillaged
the U.S. The horse-mounted Mongol
warriors, operating from a stronghold in the
Canadian wilderness, moved in from the
north and plundered U.S. riches, sweeping
as far south as Oklahoma before making
their way back across the border.
President Clinton is calling for the
construction of a national moat to prevent
future attacks. 

"May the wind knock you on your back, and the ground rise up and eat you."

COLE's LAW - Thinly sliced cabbage.

Celibacy is NOT hereditary.

Tuppence buys a dead twig, farthing a small bus,h I have no idea what a cord is worth,
but a dram of anything is worth a lot if your throat is dry :)

Elric

If I may quote from a class that Sir Richard ap [Strange] Morgan used to
teach. This was his entire class on how to become a Knight.

"To be a Knight, you must be a Knight.
If you are not a Knight, you will never be a Knight."

Crandall

Daniel 
"Hi!  I wanna be a 13th Century Druid priestess and belly dancer in Switzerland, half-Mongol, 
Half-Egyptian, and half-Klingon ..." 
de Lincolia

Master Morric here with a little forward:

This is from a discussion of Sven Stikjok, the stereotypical looks-be-damned fighter; 
someone you know could be at risk...

--- Forwarded Message ---
From: "Malone, N." 
Subject: Re: Sven

Lets not let anyone forget those dreaded diseases that afflict some seeking peerages:

Chivalry - Dermal Maximitus
Pelican  - Fecal Encephalitus
Laurel   - Periodic Constipation

AshaHito

I am reminded of our Clan rule #13 -

"I don't care who the Crown is, I can always stay drunk for six months"

Sometimes said jokingly, sometimes said through gritted teeth.

Colin Yemm

Colin's first rule of testing the suitability of "volunteers":

The best person for the job is usually the one who can't think of enough fast enough to get out of it. 

This means that they have a good idea of what the office entails (or they wouldn't be so unenthusiastic 
to volunteer) but they don't have an outside commitment so pressing it would overwhelmingly prevent them 
from volunteering. 

"Whistle While you Subvert" by Snow Black and the Seven Deformed Short People... ;>  
[More music you can't get out of your head...ain't I cruel? ;>]

J. Blackbow
Clan O'Shannon

I'll have to agree with most of what you said, Elric. However, I really do like watching Crown Lyst. 
The suspense and drama and all could never hope to be matched by an Art/Sci competition. 

Imagine this... "An act of Chivalry! Baldar stuck his finger in his cheesecake because the judges found
a bad knot in Bytor's embroidery!"   It just wouldn't be the same...

Giovanni di Rienzi

Some clever folks on the Calontir list, some years ago, made the comment that:

"You can call me a stick jock.  But if you call me just-a-stick-jock, you're in trouble."

Tibor

If you can't handle the truth, you deserve to be lied to. *George*

House Crane Minister of Food-[have YOU eaten?]

You know you're in the SCA when........

In going over new geneological reserch, you find that your brother's wife's uncle is one "Earl MacKenzie"...
....and you wonder  in what Kingdom he ruled......

Duh......

Timo, Allysyn, Alexis, and Niko
lefty,lefty,"sinisterlychallanged",and lefty

I need to water my wit: no one likes a dry wit...

Ulf Gunnarsson

"Catapultam habeo.                      (I have a catapult. Unless you)
Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis,         (give me all the money, I will)
ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam."     (throw an enormous rock at your head)

>Sigh.  All you ill-bread people and your sesame seed puns...

You know, no matter how you slice it, there's always gonna be *somebody*
tyring to sandwich in *one more* comment; doesn't it just toast ya
sometimes? I dough nut understand it. Who kneads this kind of thing,
anyway? You'd think a conversation could at yeast be leavened with some
measure of dignity, without all the half-baked, floury asides that *some*
folk just can't help but throw into batter when they're on a roll, despite
getting a rise out of folks. It really just takes the cake, don't it?

Aquilanne
whose self-control doesn't always pan out

heeheeheeheehee

>Sure it's all Pun and games until Somebody Loses an "i"
>    ~Cricket~

G whiz. C how U R?  If U X me, it's OK to give M  L, but U gotta watch your
P's N  Q's to make the "A" list, tho I'm not sure I C Y it should B that way.

abecerainly yours,
Aquilanne