How Not To Die: The Dumbest Deaths in Recorded History
Some of the following stories aren't "period" but I included them from the e-mail forward.
I have not verified these stories as to their validity...yet
Aeschylus
A Greek playwright back in 500 BC. Many historians consider him the father of Greek tragedies.
How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his head
According to legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempt to crack them open by dropping
them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus' head for a rock (he was bald) and dropped it on
him instead.
Tycho Brahe
An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground breaking research allowed
Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory of gravity.
How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time
In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to leave a banquet table before the meal
was over. Brahe, known to drink excessively, had a bladder condition -- but failed to
relieve himself before the banquet started. He made matters worse by drinking too much at
dinner, and was too polite to ask to be excused. His bladder finally burst, killing him
slowly and painfully over the next 11 days.
Francis Bacon
One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century. A statesman, a philosopher,
a writer, and a scientist, he was even rumored to have written some of Shakespeare's plays.
How he died: Stuffing snow into a chicken
One afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a snowstorm and was struck by the wondrous notion
that maybe snow could be used to preserve meat in the same way that salt was used. Determined
to find out, he purchased a chicken from a nearby village, killed it, and then, standing
outside in the snow, attempted to stuff the chicken full of snow to freeze it. The chicken
never froze, but Bacon did.
Lully
One of the favorite 16th-century composers, who wrote music for the king of France.
While rehearsing the musicians, he got too serious beating time with his staff, and drove
it right through his foot. He died of infection.
Horace Wells
Pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840s
How he died: Used anesthetics to commit suicide
While experimenting with various gases during his anesthesia research, Wells became addicted
to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for spraying two women with sulfuric acid. In a
letter he wrote from jail, he blamed chloroform for his problems, claiming that he'd gotten
high before the attack. Four days later he was found dead in his cell. He'd anaesthetized
himself with chloroform and slashed open his thigh with a razor.
Jerome Irving Rodale
Founding father of the organic food movement, creator of "Organic Farming and Gardening"
magazine, and founder of Rodale Press, a major publishing corporation.
How he died: On the "Dick Cavett Show", while discussing the benefits of organic foods.
Rodale, who bragged "I'm going to live to be 100 unless I'm run down by a sugar-crazed taxi
driver," was only 72 when he appeared on the "Dick Cavett Show" in January 1971. Part way
through the interview, he dropped dead in his chair. Cause of death: heart attack.
The show was never aired.
Jim Fixx
Author of the best selling "Complete Book of Running," which started the
jogging craze of the 1970s.
How he died: A heart attack....while jogging
Fixx was visiting Greensboro, Vermont when he walked out of his house and began jogging.
He'd only gone a short distance when he had a massive coronary. His autopsy revealed that
one of his coronary arteries was 99% clogged, another was 80% obstructed, and a third was
70% blocked....and that Fixx had had three other attacks in the weeks prior to his death.
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Last Updated: 13 Aug.1998 by Lord Johan Bjornsson
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