Dungeons & Dragons
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by Alandril Greencloak
(aka Alan J.Boertjens)
|
The Party
Past Party Personalities Some of Our Opponents Our Tale (by Alandril Greencloak) |
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THE PARTY
\o/
___ ooo
*~/"* \/o\
_{___*_}_
/" "\
\-| O O |-/
\| ^ |/
| \---/ |
\ \_/ /
\___/
Alandril Greencloak
and his way cool hat
What an elf!
|
O
/*\
/ (\
\ /_*___\ /
|\\/"" ""\//|
| \\O O// |
| \\_^_// |
| | M | |
\ | A | /
\ | G | /
\ | I | /
\| C |/
---
Augustes and another awesome hat!
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_____
/\___/\
\-|-o- -o-|-/
\| v |/
| --- |
\_____/
Garret, without a way cool hat!
Who'd ever think he's an elf?
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\\|||||||// ()
\ _______ / ||
\/""" """\/ O====O
\|(-) (-)|/ ||
(| ^ |) ||
\ O / ||
\___/ ||
||
Holy Hans \/
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_______
// \
(O) \
\ \
\ \
\ |
\\\_____/// (=) |
\/""" """\/ // |
\|(-) (o)|/ // |
| _____ | // \ /
\_____/ // \_____/
Karmine, and his wrirling sling!
Maybe his other eye should be
open as well?
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\\|||||||//
\ _______ /
\/""" """\/
\|(o)_(o)|/
| __"__ | \
\_____/ //
| \//
>-----E//\
| O
/ \
" "
Loviatar!
Half as tall,
but twice as mean!
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______ ()
/ \ ||---------\
_/________\_ || Sir? /
| O o | || PIMLICO \
(| /\ |) || /
| \____/ | ||---------\
\______/ ||
||
||
Pimlico and his steel hat!
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\\|||||||// ()
\ _______ / ||
\/""" """\/ O====O
\|(o) (o)|/ ||
(| ^ |) ||
\ <"> / ||
\___/ ||
||
Thor \/
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[TBD] |
PAST PARTY PERSONALITIES
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@@@@ 9 ~~ ~ ~~~
@@@@ 6 @@
@@ _{_ @@@@
_||@@ | /\ @@ @@@@@@
@@ @@@@ |/ \@@@@ @@@@
@@@@ @@ / @@@@@@ ||
@@@@ || /\ @@@@ @@||_
@@ _||/ \ /||| @@@@
|| / () \/ /|| @@
_||_ | __ | /_||_ ||
________|_||_|/_______||__
Allanon and his new wife Esmeralda
(They don't get out of their new
cottage much anymore) (wink) (wink)
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_______
/ \
| |
| |
\o/ | R.I.P. | \o/
oOo | | oOo
/o\ | | /o\
| | | |
| | | |
"""""""""""""""""""
Demin, pushin up posies
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+------------------------------+
| \\ || |
| \\/ || |
| /\\ o====o |
| () || |
| () |
| \|||||||/ |
| \ _______ / |
| -/ \ / \- / |
| () -| o o |- o=|===|
| || (| . |) () \ |
| ==== \\___// \\/ |
|/ || \ \___/ /\\ |
| || \\ |
+----^^^^-----^^^^-------------+
Dwayne
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/\ /\
||_____||
||-----||
||/ \||
|| / \ ||
_____ || \ / ||
/ \ ||\___/||
_| X X |_ o_/_o _ /|
(o| |o) /o o\/ \ //
\| ^ |/ ( -o- ) //|
\ (-) / /_\_-_/___//||
| | |__________| ||
\_/ || ||
|| ||
|| ||
Keestake, some choice furniture,
and a little buddy
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_______
/R.I.P. \
| |
| __^__ |
| / | \ | \o/
|/...|...\| oOo
| | | /o\
| /|\ | |
| /-\ | |
""""""""""""""""
Larry, pushin up posie
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_______
/,,,,,,,\
// - - \\
/| o o |\
//| _^_ |\\
// \ \_/ / \\
-----
Mara
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__
/ \
_____ / \_/
\ / \/
`---------------, ________
||| o o ||| \ ()_______)
//| ^ |\\ \ ... \
|| \ ~ / || | . . |
\\_/ \___/ \_// | . X . |
\_/ \_/ | ... |
()_______)
Melesana with map
and another groovy hat!
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[Polgara] |
[John Carter] |
_____ ____
\(((( /((((
!!___ \(( /((( ->
@@ | \_\_/__ /
/ /_/ \ / \_ |
oo// \_____/ \__/
vv
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Spritz the Faerie Dragon
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\"""/
/\ |@.@| /\
|*.\ \o/ /.*|
|-*--/ \--*-|
|*.//|_|\\.*|
\/ / \ \/
""""""""""""""""""""""
Pranx the Pixie
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@@@@
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@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@
@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@ @\ @@@@ / @@@@@@@
@ @ | @@ | @@@
@@ | |--\
@-\ | O O | \-@
\| ___ |
\|/ | \_/ | \|/
-*- | | --*-
/|\ | | / /|\
| / \ |
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
[Woody the Treant]
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SOME OF OUR OPPONENTS
()
\//
__ __ //\
/ \/__\//
| ^ \/-|
(| (**) |)
| ---- |
\______/
Hafkris with appropriately
positioned dagger.
|
/\
/ \
\__/
||
_____ ||
/ \ / \ ||
_/(o) (o)\_ ||
\| _^_ |/ ||
\ v v / ||
\ ^^^ / ||
\___/ ||
||
Goblin ||
with ||
Spear ||
|
/^^^^\ /^^^^\
\_ _/ \_ _/
/ / \\\|||||/// \ \ \ \
/ / _\/ \/_ \ \ \ \ \
/ / \/ /=\ /=\ \/ \ \ \ \ \
\ \ | -O-/^\-O- | / / \ \ \ \
\ \ | __ o-o __ | / / \ _____
\ \ \ \/-----\/ / / / \ /H \
\ \ \ /\-/\ / / / | A |
\ \ \_______/ / / | N |
\___S_/
Ogre throwing rock with HANS's name on it!
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HOBGOBLIN HOLD
. . .
. .
. . . . .
. . .
. . . .
. . .
. . . .
() sproing . sproing ()
___ \\_ ___ ___ __. ___ . ___ ___ ___ ___ _// ___
| |_| |_| | kaboom |\|/| |.| | . |\|/| |_| | | |_| |_| |
\ / ''\-@- . / \-@-. kaboom \ /
| ___ | ___ ___'___ /|\___ .| .__ ___ ___ /|\_'_ | ___ ___ ___ | ___ |
| | | |_| |_|'|_| |_| | | .|_| |_| |_| |_| | |' |_| |_| |_| |_| | | |
| --- | ' | --- .. | --- '| | --- |
| | ' | |. ________ | | | |
| | ' | . . | || | | |' | |
| | ' | | .| o||o | | | ' | |
/ \ / . \ .| || | / \ ' / \
---------'--------------------.----.---------------------'-------------------
' . . '
' . . '
' . . '
\O/ twang . ACK! . twang \O/
| . \O/ . | \O/
/ \ . | @ thump / \ |
. / \ \O/ / \
. | ACK!
thump @ / \
\O/
ACK! |
/ \
|
OUR TALE
(by Alandril Greencloak)
Dang rats!
Alandril recites: 'Twas the night before battle, and all through the temple, not a creature was stirring, except all these dang rats! ...and a ghoul |
Patty-cake
Alandril starts playing patty-cake with Hans and our babysitter Mara... [giggle] [giggle] [giggle] "Patty-cake patty-cake, traps all around" "When we get the boat, we won't drown" "Smash 'em and slash 'em, and stab 'em with glee" "Put 'em in the dungeon with zombie and me!" [giggle] [giggle] [giggle] "OK, your turn Hans..." |
The BLOODY story
The New Improved Alandril Tells a Tall Tale: Alandril returns to the boat with Dwayne, Augustes, Pimlico and a stranger. He says, "Greetings all! I think its time we celebrated our success in escaping from the evil pirate slavers and defeating those wretched orcs and goblins! And we have another story to tell you from the Capital. Oh yeah, by the way, this is our new friend. His name is John Carter." Alandril places a small keg of ale down onto the deck and hands out wooden mugs to everyone and places two extra mugs onto the railing. He fills all the mugs halfway with fine wine from a wineskin that he has brought. He then hangs the wineskin on a mast peg and says, "A toast to us all! Let us celebrate our success in defeating our enemies and may we forever remember our fallen comrades Demin and Larry." He then takes the two extra mugs of wine, one in each hand, and slowly pours them into the water by the boat while saying, "We salute you, Demin and Larry, may you find peace in returning to the earth and completing the sacred circle of life." Alandril takes some fresh wildflowers from a pouch and drops them into the water...pauses...then takes up his own mug of wine and drains it in a single drought...pauses...then goes over to the keg of ale and fills it to the brim, turns, and says, "I'll tell you all what happened to us up in town. We were walking up the road toward the entrance of the town. Boy, we all were in a sad looking state, carrying our weapons and loot while wearing nothing more than tattered nightshirts. We stuck out like sore thumbs. Lucky for us there was a marketplace outside the town gates so we didn't get the attention of the guards, at least not then. Our first stop was at Carl the Clothier's shop where we all bought some tunics, cloaks, and breeches. Thats when we found out our "foreign" gold was only worth half of what it should have been worth... BLOODY MERCHANTS!" [takes a drink of ale] "Carl's small nephew, Kenny the Kid, volunteered to show us around the bazaar marketplace. Hey! that would make it a bazaar bazaar!" [chuckle] [grin] "Kenny the Kid took us around to all his relative's shops, there was Larry the Leatherworker, Harold the Hatmaker, William the Weaponsmith, and Max at the general store." [grin] "ALL OF A SUDDEN, this foppishly dressed half-elf named Cymboline approached us and said to meet him at The Drunken Dragon Inn that evening. Kenny the Kid told us that The Drunken Dragon Inn was inside the city walls, but we noticed earlier that the guards at the gate were collecting money from everyone that was entering the city, except some wealthy looking merchants...BLOODY MERCHANTS! No offense Melesana. We gave Kenny the Kid quite a handsome tip for showing us around for the day, but it was getting late and he needed to go home to his merchant-banker relatives... BLOODY MERCHANT-BANKERS!" [takes a drink of ale] "We had to go into the city so we approached the guards...they said 'HALT, we are the guards that say NEE! Those who pass must pay a tax' They looked us over and taxed myself and Augustes only 2sp, but they charged Pimlico and Dwayne 1gp each, they claimed it was an extra tax for the weapons they were carrying...BLOODY GUARDS! Those guards sure were taxing! [smirk] Then another 'guard' came out of the shadows and said 1sp each for the lot of us! Suspicions were afoot! [glance at Dwayne] The guard then escorted us through a real shady part of town to a seemingly empty warehouse. We entered a waiting room and sat there quietly while Dwayne went into the back rooms... BLOODY GUILDS!" [takes a drink of ale] "We leave the 'guildhall' and head for the Drunken Dragon Inn and get stopped by a group of guards that shake us down for 1gp each, saying that there is a tax for unregistered weapons...BLOODY GUARDS! We complain a bit but think it wise to comply with them as its getting on in the evening and there aren't many witnesses about. As we were just getting out of range of them I turned and lobbed a rock at 'em for the hell of it. We found the Drunken Dragon Inn and settled in at a table when this guy [pointing at John Carter] just walked up and sat down at the table with us. He said that Cymboline the half-elf sent him to meet us... BLOODY FOP HALF-ELVES" [takes a drink of ale] [burp] "The fop Cymboline flops up to us like he just came from a flophouse, wait, that didn't sound right, that joke flopped! [laugh] Wait! Cymboline is a half-elf so I guess the joke half-flopped! [giggle] I had better stop flopping about and get on with the story. [smirk] Cymboline then proceeds to tell us that a plague has stricken the area and rumor has it that The Admiral, he's the head honcho of the city, and his sage, whos name was Basil, [giggle] well! this is a spicy island you know! [grin] Oh yeah, The Admiral and the sage were in cahoots and that the sage was doing research with strange animals. Cymboline thinks that the sage's research is behind the recent plague and a cure might be found somewhere in his tower." But the sage hasn't been seen for about a week and his food deliveries have been piling up at the front door of his tower... BLOODY SAGES!" [takes a drink of ale] [refills mug from the keg] "This stuff is pretty good...the ale is pretty good too" [big grin] "Anyways...we 'leav the inn' by throwing oak leaves all over the place...no, seriously, we leave the inn and follow Cymboline over to Basil the Sage's tower but Cymboline refuses to go with us because he is too afraid of the plague that must be inside. We walk around the place but only find one door. Augustes used his magic wand on it and, sure-enough, the door emanates magic. I walk up to the door and see that it has a lionhead knocker. I figure a front door couldn't be too harmful so I knock the knocker. The lionhead booms "GO AWAY!", scaring the begeebeeies out of everyone... BLOODY MAGIC DOORS!" [takes a drink of ale] "So, our new friend, John Carter, volunteers to climb the 70'-high tower with a rope. Well, he didn't climb the tower with a rope, he climbed the tower with his hands, but he DID carry a rope up with him. [grin] He tied it off to a railing and dropped the resty down to us. We all climbed the rope to the top to find some astrological equipment and a trapdoor with no handle, typical huh? John smashed through the trapdoor to reveal a winding staircase leading down. We go down the stairs, single file, and Pimlico gets whacked by a swinging metal bar trap that was triggered by a false step... BLOODY TRAPS!" [takes a drink of ale] [burp] "Dwayne finds another trap along the way and we finally make it to the bottom of the stairs only to find two dead thieves crumpled up in a heap, as opposed to a stack. [futuristic grin] We go through a door into a hallway full of doors. We hear some sounds coming from a door. It sounds like a fight is going on inside. Pimlico opens the door and WHOOSH! several flying bats with long noses whiz by and go right out the door and up the staircase...drat! It seems that this room was being used to cage animals and some had gotten out. There were cats, rats, dogs, and batty things with long noses. I was very sad...they hadn't been fed for days. [sigh] There was a bucket and a faucet so I gave them some water...poor little critters... [sniffle] BLOODY CAGES!" [takes a drink of ale] [takes another drink of ale] "We open another door and there is a flame on a countertop. This looks like a laboratory. WHOOSH! A BIG GREY BAT RUSHES BY and goes up the staircase, much to the dismay of John Carter who thought he'd closed that other door adequately. There, under the table, is another dead person. Its Basil the sage. Then, CRASHING GLASS! another big grey bat comes out from behind some bottles on a shelf. Its attacking us! Pimlico and Dwayne kill the beast with a couple of sword blows... BLOODY BATS!" [takes a drink of ale] [refills mug from the keg] "We search the room to find a metal cabinet with an anti-magic or dispel magic sigil clearly painted on its door. We wait to open it. The next room we find animal food. Augustes and I go back and feed the critters in the cage room. We then release all the critters from their cages. We then find a kitchen area with nothing really special, it looks like it hasn't been used for years. Then we find the sage's bedroom. Really nice carpeting all over the place. Pimlico found a case beneath the bed that contained a necklace, a spellbook, and a note. The note read, 'Keep the gift, I'll keep my freedom'. It was written in a female handstyle...its seems the sage fancied someone special who DIDN'T fancy him in return... BLOODY NOTES! [takes a drink of ale] "The last door reveals the sage's library. Books all around! But they are slowly glowing with a light-blue aura. The books on the table are about ecology and biology and are open to pages that mention the flying batty creatures that we saw earlier and to a place known as the Relmor Bay. John Carter picks up a book and throws it at the bookcase...geesh! [rolling eyes] I sure would've chosen a less valuable item to throw. I couldn't take it anymore, I just had to get to those books. But the magic blue light...hmm...what the heck! I'll just go grab one! BIG ZAP! That was the last thing I remember before seeing Hans standing over me here on the ship... BLOODY MAGIC TRAPS!" [takes a drink of ale] "These guys tell me that a fire broke out in the room with the flame and they had to get out of the tower quickly. They went back to the metal cabinet and opened it, finding five bottles and a book. They had climb to the top of the staircase and get down before getting engulfed in flames...I don't think any of the little animals in there got out alive... [sniffle] BLOODY FIRES!" [takes a drink of ale] "We brought the potion bottles to an alchemist to analyze and one of them ended up being a treatment for the plague, not a cure mind you, but it keeps people from going into the third stage of the illness. So, Cymboline was right after all, there was some good to searching the old sage's tower. We have saved many people from death by finding that treatment hidden away inside the cabinet. The alchemist is now making large batches of this medicine for 1sp per treatment. We got the first batch of 100 doses of this medicine to help spread across the region. But the plague still rages on, but we have a clue as to where the cure might be found...Relmor Bay. That's our next destination..." BLOODY PLAGUES! [takes a drink of ale] Alandril smiles and says, "How'd you like my first story as a bard?" |
Lovar's Lament
"Lovar's Lament" by Alandril Greencloak There was a young dwarf, Lovar was his name. He used to work on the warf, But serving Tyr now was his game. When on a quest to Rel Mord, To find a cure for the plague. Captured was he by Hextor's dark horde, And forced to fight for a grade. He fought with valor and strength, And won his bout in one blow. It was not a fight of great length, But it sure took best of show. Battling more evil from the lair of Hextor, Their priests fell to our swords. We found the undead minions of gore, Our party succumbed to ghoul hordes. Up stepped Lovar, up into the fray, To fight and protect fallen friends. He fell to their claws, and unnatural ways, It was thus how he met his end. Lovar, a mighty warrior of all, A warrior for forces of law. May he seek solace in Tyr's hall, A true example of what we should awe. |
Iron Fist lymerick
Alandril says (just loud enough for those at our table to hear)... "Ain't chaos just wonderful." Alandril chimes in with a lymerick... "It seems that the Iron Fist Guild, Have lost all the jobs to be filled, Now all that want muscle, Are all in a tussle, And the guild can't get gold to rebuild." Hahahhahhahaa.... |
The warped story
Alandril spots the St.Cuthbert follower that was bad-mouthing the Druids, gets his attention, and says to him, "I'll tell you a story young lad" Alandril starts playing a tune on his elven harp while reciting the following verses: "This tale is olde, as everyone knows, A tale of boasting and bite. This tale will last, till next winter's snows, Through morning, mid-day, and night." "A tale of a lad, who boasts an untruth, Who says things unwise, just for spite. This tale I tell now, is for the uncooth, A tale for those who aren't bright." "This lad that I speak of, as everyone knows, Spouts lies, like all demons might. For little he knows, and it does quite show, I'll bring him a glimpse of the light." This song was actually the verbal spell component for the "Warp Wood" spell that I just cast on the chair of the St.Cuthbert follower. Playing the harp was actually the somantic spell component. So...as Alandril played his song, the chair legs warped around the lad's legs, the chair arms curled over his waist, and the chair back twisted over the lad's shoulders... trapping him in a twisted mass of wood. Alandril says to the trapped lad... "The lad in the song, is the lad before me, yes YOU!, And I hope a lesson you'll learn. Before you spout lies, and things quite untrue, For I could easily make you burn." "For I am a Druid!, that part is true, And you are a Saint Cuthbert fan. A Druid's magic, has defeated you, Your shame I show to your clan." "A Bard I am also!, and that part is true, This song you may take to your grave. A Bard's words strike deep, and last through and through, For those that do misbehave." [to the audience] "So before you do laugh, at nature with fun, And to the Druids who can cast down great flame! Think of this lad, and what I have done, For you all are the ones to blame." |
Lump of fur?
Alandril places his hand on his chin, looks around for a moment as if in deep thought, then says, "After you guys check out the lump of fur, Then, perhaps we could concurr, That I should play the notes so fair, To get us along this grand affair." |
There goes the bard again
Alandril waits for Loviatar to check the barrels, and for Thor to have a sampling from each. :-) "Thor, we can celebrate with some of that well-aged wine once we find the clues and complete this part of our quest." "Lets check out the remaining door in this hallway before we go back to the special door. The stairs at the end of the hallway probably lead up into the Dwarf's house above us, so we probably shouldn't make too much noise on the stairs. We wouldn't want to alarm the Dwarf, since he didn't give us permission to explore down here anyways." Alandril then contradicts himself and starts playing a tune... "There was a strange bard from Nantucket, Who could't carry a tune in a bucket, Every time that he'd play, His audience would say, Why don't you just go and chuck it!" |
Wight... wight... goodnight.
Alandril summarizes the encounter in rhyme... "Should we go or should we fight? What is this foe? It is a wight! It stays far back hidden from sight. But Thor steps in to make things right! It grabs Thor and tries to bite. But Thor lifts it up to such a height. And whirls it round as if its light. So that Augustes's, Alandril's and Loviatar's might, Could all be released in space so tight, Wight...wight...goodnight." |
Cymbelline's challenge, Alandril's response
Alandril says under his breath...
"One usually gets an epitaph during ones lifetime
I think 'Cymbelline the Crazy' is fitting..."
He takes out a copper piece to use as a pick
and strumbs it across his harp strings,
while saying...in Elvish...
"Who knows what goes through a mind like that?"
to GM only: Alandril casts ESP spell so that he can pick up on
Cymbelline's surface thoughts as he's asking the
questions of legend and lore.
Alandril then mumbles this to the people immediately around him...
"I guess its me he's after."
Alandril plucks a few strings on the harp...and says to Cymbelline,
"I'll take that bet, your gonna regret,
'cause I'm the best there's ever been.
Singin' Alandril get your harpstrings ready,
And play them wild and free,
'cause Cymbelline's got his hands on the goods,
And he is threatening thee,
And if you match his wits of lore,
You'll win the day for sure,
But if you lose,
You'll be no mooorrrreeee."
Alandril steps into the doorway, but no further.
"OK, I'm warmed up now...what say you?"
|
Alandril's serious response
Alandril calmly says... "I've been thinking about your curious riddle, thinking the answer to be AGE or TIME or DEATH. But, Cymbelline, the strings that seem to pull your will and being, are unraveling the tapestry of your true life... so it must be FATE." |
Town of Fate
Alandril starts off by saying, "I'm not ABOUT to get lynched by a mob of morons." "How ironic for those poor bastards that their town is named FATE." [pause] "Bards sometimes seek infamy as well as fame." "HANS! THOR! Get back here!" Alandril then pulls out a scroll... and starts reading. (He times is so that the crowd is well down the alleyway towards us.) "I issue forth a fog so vile. To rid this place of those like bile. I now cleanse this town called Fate. And rid it of those I now hate. I send forth like black dragon's breath, A cloud so dark... like death!" A rolling, billowing fog appears out of nowhere 30' from the party and quickly travels down the remaining 120' of the alleyway, engulfing the oncoming mob. Screams emanate from the mob as people succumb to the dark acidic fog. "Sorry for the dire actions all, but mobs tend to be quite resilient to diplomacy. I suggest that we quickly scoot around the other side of the estate and immediately get out of this city." |
Horsing around...
Narrator > "The party arrives at "The Inn" inn in the village..."
Setting > [In the stables. Thor is tending to Hammer.]
Alandril > [casts a spell on Hammer without Thor's knowledge]
Thor > [busy grooming Hammer after the ride through the forest]
Hammer > [in a hoarse human voice]
"That sure feels good Thor, I love it when you
brush me down after a day of riding in the woods."
Thor > :-O
He is not sure if Hammer said it or if it was Alandril playing a trick on him.
Thor decides that elves are peaty fun to be around and goes along with it whatever the reality.
(Thor talks to Hammer as he grooms him.)
Your are a prize Hammer, a wonderful gift from Tyr, but your more than that, your my friend.
(Thor is quiet for a moment but continues brushing.)
We have allot of people in our group who think and act different.
As it is your wish to help me, It is my wish to help Hans,
you can trust him, obey his commands after mine and allow him to ride.
(Thor finishes grooming then puts some fresh hay out for food and says)
One more thing, Out of all of the people in our group, you can trust that Alandril will
not do anything to intentionally harm you, besides, I'm pretty sure he is responsible
for allowing this conversation or if this is a trick I'm sure he will tell you all that I said.
HEHEHE
(After taking care of the other animals needs if any,Thor will spend some time training Hammer)
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Ogre Road
As the party relaxes in "The Inn" inn with the locals, Alandril says... "Here's a song I've been mulling over from our travels... Hope you like it..." "Ogre Road" by Alandril Greencloak We were traveling down the highway On our chosen quest Loviatar found an Ogre Sleeping up a tree in a nest Thor found another one Hiding in the brush He gave it a sound thrashing It was such a rush Their leader boldly stepped out The road it was quite narrow He demanded that we pay him Then Garret let loose his arrow The arrow struck their leader He let out a yelp Then they started running They sure could use some help [Chorus] And there were Ogres, Ogres Running through the wood They were fleeing from us Because we were all too good We chased them through the forest Those lumbering evil foe Pimlico ran down the one Who had stubbed his toe They thundered through the greenwood Then clambered up the ridge Hans caused two to slow down Like they just came out of a fridge And there were Ogres, Ogres Running through the wood They were fleeing from us Because we were all too good The Ogres stood atop the ridge Confident of their might They didn't see it coming 'Cause Alandril snook up on the right The lightning shot down upon them They didn't have a hope And then Augustes hypnotized The ones who began to mope And there were Ogres, Ogres Running through the wood They were fleeing from us Because we were all too good Karmine kept a-flingin' his sling The stones whizzed through the air He finally managed to hit one Because they were forced to stare The last remaining Ogre Began to run like mad Alandril let loose another bolt The Ogre had been had And there were Ogres, Ogres Running through the wood They were fleeing from us Because we were all too good We snuck up upon their lair A cave in hillside true We delivered our ultimatum But they wouldn't take a clue Some Ogre guards came to the front Another bolt and they bled That act seemed to scare them They came streaming out and fled And there were Ogres, Ogres Running through the wood They were fleeing from us Because we were all too good The Ogre clan went running Chieftain, women and lad The chieftain became our target Because he had been soo bad Augustes let loose a magic bolt Alandril let one loose too Then Pimlico ran him down And turned him into goo And there were Ogres, Ogres Running through the wood They were fleeing from us Because we were all too good And there were Ogres, Ogres Running through the wood They were fleeing from us Because we were all too good Alandril nods his head, takes a bow, and smiles from ear to ear like only an elf can... |
Into the woods...
Alandril convinces the party to return the bard to the town before heading back out to the woods. We stop by the inn for a drink and a meal. Alandril suggests to the bard that he rest here a couple of days to regain his strength before moving on. [At the inn...] Everyone sits down in various places around the main room of the inn. Some of the friendly townsfolk are there to hear how we defeated the bear that was killing the townsfolk. A fire steadily burns in the fireplace... hmmm... You notice that the fire doesn't seem to consume the wood... How curious?!? (actually, Alandril had cast 'Log of Everburning' on the log in the fireplace, but noone seemed to notice.) Alandril gets a twinkle in his light purple eyes, and a devious smirk slowly spreads across his cheery elven face. He starts tuning up his harp while humming a few lines of a distant, ancient song. (to people that make a successful 'Spellcraft' roll, Alandril casts the spell 'Cantrip') [Sounds of trees creaking] [Sounds of wind through leafy branches] "Into the woods..." by Alandril Greencloak We searched for days, Through fog and haze, Whilst keeping fixed our gaze. Perhaps 'twas just a phase, We wandered forest's maze, Searching for some praise. For we were on a dare, in search of something rare, a strange and elusive bear. Loviatar took great care, to find its tracks or lair, But it didn't seem quite fair. We were many and it but one, We weighed little but it a tonne, So who, you say, would have the fun. The trees grew thick and blocked the sun, So thick were they, no place to run, So listen close as this tale is spun. [Sounds of running water] We came across a babbling brook, and Loviatar crept up to take a look, but the otters there hid in a nook. Thor stepped up with line and hook, to catch some fish for Loviatar to cook, but Alandril whipped out a boat so we could book. We camped at night beneath an old oak tree, But the bear snuck in and attacked Augustee, He shredded and raked him then turned to flee. He ran right out growling with glee, Thor was quite taken and fell to one knee, And spoke of revenge, that was his decree. [A little kid in the audience yells out] Oh my God, the bear killed Augustes, those bastards! [Growling sounds start emanating from Thor's stomach] We set up our watch 'cause we thought we were blind, Yet the big honkin' bear still managed to find, A way to slip in and get right behind. It attacked Garret and Thor and it wasn't kind, But Alandril froze it and Hans gave it no mind, To slice it and dice it, on bearmeat we dined. We then went to find the beast's home and lair, Loviatar tracked its pawprints and hair, And managed to get us past a deadly bear snare. We climbed up a great tree as if it was a stair, But Hans and Augustes fell, oh what a pair, Thor yelled "Heal Augustes while you are down there." [A different little kid yells out] Oh my God, the fall killed Augustes, those bastards! We found two young cubs in the back of the cave, Karmine charmed one, that sneaky priest knave, Alandril held one with magic cause it didn't save. We got some treasure, it was quite rave, Reward we did get, from the villagers who gave, But Augustes came close to getting a grave. [Sound of jingling coins] We stayed in town for one night of rest, Then we went back to the forest to finish our quest, Alive and renewed with vigor and zest. We found some wee folk being attacked not in jest, Those wargs were not nice, but them we did best, The brownies were grateful so gave us a test. [Sounds of silly fairy music] The brownies asked us if we wanted treasure or glory, We chose the latter to add to the story, The brownie said "so be it", and we started to worry. He led us to a cave to a scene thats quite gory, Of a half-eaten horse that was looking quite sorry, And a bound and gagged man who was quite hoary. [Sounds of heavy footsteps] Three hill giants came out to see to their stash, And saw us below so ran down in a flash, They thought they could best us by club and by bash. Hans challenged the first, we thought he was rash, Thor challenged the second, we thought he'd be mash, The third we dispatched and he fell with a crash. We ungagged the old man and untied his hands, He said that he was a bard of these lands, He proclaimed that as long as he stands, Our story he'd tell in the many caravans, From the great desert sands, To the coastal sea strands. [Sounds of happy birds chirping and singing] And thus is our tale, Sofar in this dale, We'll do good deeds to stay out of jail. So if you see us again give us a hail, For we're friends of you all in this fine vale, And with your support we surely won't fail. With this ending, Alandril takes a deep bow to everyone in the room and takes a refreshing sip of fine wine. |
Jingling Bells
Alandril laughs and giggles as Tufty welcomes him back in catlike fashion... |
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Last Updated: 19 May 1999 by Alan J. Boertjens
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