- You day dream about Xena & Gabrielle
- You've moved to New Zealand just for the possibilty of seeing LL & ROC
- You have never missed an episode
- You've never missed a minute of an episode either
- You have a "Xena-Ready" tape in your VCR
- You have a back-up of ever EP
- Each EP is written on your Xena calendar
- You never use Z's...you always change them into X's
- You got kicked out of english class cause you freaked out that Zeena was in the book "Ethan Frome"
- You crossed-out every occurance of Zeena & wrote in Xena (there were alot!!!)
- You've subscribed to everyone one of the mailing lists, no matter how much mail
- You insist on hunting your own food and cooking it over a fire
- You insist on hunting your own food and cooking it over a fire and you live in the suburbs
- You have a shrine in your room
- You won't let anyone touch your season 1 videos
- You walk through the woods and regularly pick up branches and think, "This would make a great staff."
- You took one of the branches home and actually made a staff
- You have quit a job because of schedule conflicts between Xena and work
- The pin number on any one of your cards/accounts is predictable
- Your internet passwords are predictable
- You dig through newsstands looking for magazine and newspaper articles on Xena, no matter how obscure
- You've saved every possible article/image of Xena from periodicals and publications, regardless of size or repetition
- You go to the comic book store & check for new Xena comics everyday
- The comic book store won't let you in anymore
- You frame your Xena posters...all of them
- You pick up Xena's facial expressions, mannerisms, and figures of speech & use them in your everyday life
- You replace all your clothing with Xena costumes in actual sizes and get all over plastic surgery to fit them
- You do this & you're a guy
- You move to New Zealand and spend hours on end on the streets, on the off chance you might bump into Lucy
- You move to New Zealand and watch the first class section of the Auckland Airport 24 hours a day in hopes of getting a glimpse of Lucy
- You change your name to Robert Tapert in hopes your drivers license can fool a new security guard on the set
- You do this and you're a female
- You hire joy flights over the area of New Zealand near the set and try to take photos through the window with long distance camera
- You hire a joy flight over the area of New Zealand where they film the show and try to parachute jump down
- You pick up the phone and dial in New Zealands country code, then try to guess the phone number one of the stars.
- You succeed
- You take a job as a New Zealand plane janitor on the off chance you'll find something Lucy dropped on the floor or left in their seat
- You name all your pets Argo
- You name all your children Argo
- You use Joxer as a role model because he got to kiss Gabrielle
- Your schedule revolves around Xena
- You spend your life savings on a horse because it looks like Argo
- You spend your life savings on a horse because then you'll have a horse, even if it looks nothing like Argo
- You spend your life savings on a dog because you couldn't afford a horse
- You spend your life savings on a hamster because it's all you could afford. (You spent the rest of Xena Merchandise)
- You add in quotes from the show into your everyday life
- Whenever you make a joke you have to say, "That was a joke...you can laugh"
- We won't even get into how many times you say, "I have many skills" in a day
- You're still reading this list
- You believe that people who don't like the show aren't worth knowing at all
- You're web browser has nothing but Xena related links
- You're desktop is xena-tized
- An episode is on right now while you're reading the list
- You want to marry Xena
- And you're a heterosexual female
- You best friend is questioning you're sexuality now
- Even your kids know you tape the show and buy the comics for yourself
- You're written reports on Xena for school
- Your significant other is jealous because you more obsessed with to Xena than you are of him
- You get a tattoo of Xena's chakram on your body
- You buy a wire bound notebook and every millimetre of usable space is filled with the word Xena or quotes
- You've had an identity crisis and think you're Xena
- You've gotten arrested because of this
- You write at the top of this list "To Do:"
- You think this list is about you
- You actually discussed the symbolics in Bitter Suite with a ten year old
- You expected to get Xena stuff for x-mas & birthdays
- You didn't and pity those who just don't understand
- You signature has a Xena quote in it
- You sign your emails "Love In Xena" or "Chakram Kissess ****"
- Your mother takes away your Xena tapes because she feels they're affecting your life more than she is
- You want to buy the Season 1 tapes so bad that you stop paying your
- You know you're are obsessed when.... while you're taking your Physics final exam the only thing that is on your mind is that Gabby's acceleration at the end of Sacrifice II was 9.81 m/s2
- You like to draw but haven't in ten years. Now you can again and all you draw is Xena
- You have a coniption because one of your kids accidentally taped over 1/2 of 'The Quest'
- You stay up late (l:00 am) to tape an old show. You could program the VCR to do so, but you can't wait to see which one it is, even though it means getting only 4 hours sleep
- You stay up till 2:30 to tape an old show even though you could program your VCR...but what about the %.001 chance it doesn't work??? I can't afford that can you?
- You read every fan fiction and alt fan fic story you can get your hands on
- You do this and you don't even like fan fic
- You want to know where the local 'Amazon' branch is so you can join up
- You make a tape of 'Bitter Suite' off the tv so you can listen to the whole episode in your car
- When your four year old daughter can sing all the words to 'Joxer The Mighty'
- You know you are obsessed with Xena when you seek a co-worker, named Zina, just so you can say her name out loud!!!
- You know you're obsessed with Xena when you write all your papers in
- you legally change your name to Xena or Lucy
- and your a guy
- you refer to secret inuendos as subtext
- You get cable TV just so you can watch Xena with a little bit better picture
- You had never bought a comic book in your life, and now the people at the comic shop know you by name
- You meet someone new, discover that you have a mutual friend, and they say "Oh, YOU'RE the Xena person!"
- You're convinced that when you meet the love of your life it will be because of something Xena related.
- In your high school yearbook, Xena's name is written more than your own
- You spend 2-3 hours a day reading Xena mailing list posts
- Everytime you mention anything having to do with Xena, you're friends groan and roll thier eyes and say, "here we go again!"
- your co-worker couldn't wait to tell you this story:
- When you walk into work...your coworkers cant wait to tell you that they "watched Xena" like it's something they want you to know so you can be proud of them
- You have your mom call everyone she knows...all over the country, and tell
- Your getting a roomate...and your mom asks you: "Where are you going
- you bought yourself a cheap green Frisbee and throw it at unsuspecting passer-bys just because it reminds you of a chakram and it is very good practice for when you actually get your hands on one
- you bought a cheap kite and fly it around dangerous thunder clouds...you never know when you might stumble upon a big giant
bills because if you can't afford to spend the money on the tapes,
then by the gods, no one is getting any of your money until you can afford
them.
the fonts Calisto or Amazone because... well, you know.
Andy: I called my mom the other night to say 'hello'...you know what she told me? "I cant talk right now, I'm watching Xena."
Rhonda: How old is your mom?
Andy: 72
them to look for a pepsi cap with the word "dont"
to put your Xena shrine?" cause it's in the spare bedroom. By the way...I'm
36.
Go to part 2 of this list at You Know You're Obsessed 2