Chapter Thirteen

THE HONEYMOON SUITE

"My great grandfather fought for the Confederacy so make sure the workmen around here are reliable and white," Arthur Stuart announced when he handed Celeste a substantial check from the insurance company to cover the damages to their house.

After depositing the generous check in her remodeling account, Celeste Stuart arranged for Wilbur to begin several small jobs. A contractor was hired for the large repair work. There was plenty of sanding, painting and other yard work to be finished.

Each time she paid, Celeste meticulously entered the amount in her ledger so that Arthur could see where the money went. Wilbur took the check to their bank and cashed it. It was always more than what he was owed. He returned the difference to her, and she hid it in a secret spot inside her bureau.

"Arthur is a clever lawyer but a lousy husband," she confessed to Wilbur on one of his working visits to her house. "I was young and dumb. He was so charming and genteel, but I gave him control of my grandfather's portfolio which I inherited. It's worth millions, but I didn't know what to do with it. I was an art student. What did I know about stocks and business? I was living in a dream world, I guess. I thought he would look out for my interests."

"That's too bad," Wilbur replied as he felt himself being drawn into her life.

xxx

He left Celeste's house early that day. He was glad to have another job. He felt attracted to her, but he didn’t know what to do. He returned some of the cash to Celeste before returning to the Dream Mechanic. She promptly put it into the secret hiding place.

When Wilbur arrived at the shop Dave Hamilton, Wilbur's surrogate father, according to Mrs. Mount Blanc, had a hot prospect for him. Dave had a smile from ear to ear.

"You're going to the honeymoon suite, Wilbur," Dave said triumphantly.

"Huh," he replied as his thoughts were still transfixed on Celeste Stuart. "Do you think she wants to marry me?"

"What are you talking about, Wilbur? You haven't been smoking that stuff Margo keeps in the freezer, have you?"

"No. I thought you were talking about Celeste Stuart."
"I was talking about this," he answered as he brandished the invoice in front of Wilbur. "You're putting in a waterbed in the honeymoon suite at a hotel."

xxx

Wilbur was energized for it when he arrived at the less-than-luxury hotel. It was located close to an interstate highway overpass and an auto parts warehouse on the outskirts of Tampa.

"Why would anyone honeymoon in such an unromantic place nestled between an interstate highway and a warehouse," he wondered as he stepped into the lobby.

The desk clerk looked officious as he leaned over the front counter. His head bent down looking at the motel register.

"I'm supposed to see the assistant manager about putting in a waterbed for the honeymoon suite," Wilbur stated after he approached the front desk with the tool box and the hose slung like a lariat around his right arm and hand.

The desk clerk was very neat and trim. He wore a white shirt and a maroon tie. His mustache was clipped and shiny.

"I didn't know the honeymoon suite was finished yet. The carpenter was still working there as far as I knew, " the clerk answered.

"I'm supposed to meet the assistant manager at 3:30 in the lobby. That's what my boss told me," Wilbur replied.

"Well, let me call him in his room. He should be there right now. Then we can clear this up."

"Okay. No problem."

He picked up the maroon phone and aggressively punched several numbers.

"I've got a guy up here who says he's here to set up a waterbed in the honeymoon suite. Is it finished yet? Nobody said anything to me about it."

After a few moments he put the phone down.

"He'll be out here in a few minutes. Have a seat over there," he said, pointing to some magenta colored chairs with thick cushions.

"Thanks. Appreciate it," as he positioned himself in the chair.

While the time passed Wilbur watched two bellhops escort visitors and their luggage into the lobby. It was several minutes before the assistant manager arrived.

"This way," he said then motioned for Wilbur to follow.

He led Wilbur through a subterranean labyrinth of dimly lit hallways which were carpeted in magenta like the lobby furniture. Wilbur loped along behind him with the toolbox and the hose.

"Here we are. It's a long walk. The room is still being remodeled, but there's room against the wall for the bed. What we've done here is knocked out a wall and put in a kitchenette over on that side."

The carpenter was in the other room working on the cupboards and the Formica countertop. His materials were scattered around the place.

"I'll have to move some of this stuff so I can get the bed in here."

"You hear that, Joe?" the assistant manager asked.

"Yeah."

"You guys work that out, okay? Where's the bed at anyway?"

"Out in my van. I'll have to carry it in through the front door."

"Yeah. Just give me a call before you fill it with water. I want to make sure it looks good. We've never had a honeymoon suite here, and the general manager wants this place to look primo. He wants this thing to catch on. I'm in charge, but I have to answer to him, if you know what I mean? The people who rent this room, I mean suite, are going to be in the room a majority of the time fucking each other so let's do a good job," the assistant manager sermonized.

"No problem," Wilbur replied, surprised by his bluntness.

xxx

Wilbur received some odd looks as he hauled the purple frame piece by piece through the dark hallways. The carpenter also eyed the disassembled frame.

"You better reinforce that," he said then laughed.

After all the parts were in the honeymoon suite, Wilbur fumbled around in the open toolbox.

"Aw shit, I left my tape measure back at the store. Damn, my boss was using it, and he didn't put it back in the toolbox. Now I gotta go back and get that stupid tape measure."

"If you need a tape measure, you can use mine. Just make sure I get it back. It's the most important thing for putting in these countertops. You get them off just a little bit, and it looks like hell."

The carpenter handed Wilbur his silver tape measure.

"Okay, thanks. I appreciate it."

Wilbur measured the distance from the freshly painted white wall to where the purple fan-shaped headboard would stand. The bed frame was attached to the unusual headboard. When he got the headboard parallel with the wall and moved the bed frame to attach it, he stepped back. To his astonishment the frame angled towards the wall. He tried this several times. Each time the bed was at an angle when the headboard was parallel to the wall.

Wilbur checked the measurements but couldn't figure out the problem. He shifted the bed. It looked worse. The carpenter glanced over, wondering at the motions Wilbur was going through. One end of the headboard was two inches from the wall. The other end of the headboard was ten inches from the wall.

The carpenter stopped work as he waited for his tape measure.

"One of the side pieces on the frame must be longer, a lot longer, than the other side. I can't figure it out," Wilbur stated.

He attached the tape measure to one side, made a measurement, then he attached it to the other side and mistakenly pulled it tight to get the measurement. It was too tight because Wilbur no longer held a twenty-five foot tape after shearing off a two foot section. The carpenter looked in disbelief.

"Goddamit! How'd that happen!?" Wilbur wondered.

"You sure you don't have another tape in your van? I might as well go home if I don't have a tape," the carpenter said disgustedly after viewing the shorn tape measure. "Here's the problem," he continued. "Look at the wall back there. Right about in the middle it starts to curve. Look at the bulge in that wall. It's bowed like a banana. Whoever put up that wall must've been drunk."

"I'll go back to the store and get a tape measure. We've got an extra one around there. I'll just give it to you."

"Just hurry up. I can't do anything until I have a tape."

xxx

When Wilbur returned to the store, Dave was laid back in his easy chair, looking like an astronaut ready for take off.

"Do you know how many motels and motel rooms there are in this area," Dave fantasized. "That didn't take long for my setup man. You're getting fast. I think we've got a good thing going there, Wilbur. Once the other motels around here catch on about the waterbed in that place, that's not a dive either, that's a nice family place, once they hear about it, they'll be lining up for waterbeds. We'll be rolling in gravy," Dave Hamilton gloated.

"I broke this guy's tape measure there in the honeymoon suite. I told him I'd give him this one," Wilbur said as he raised the tape measure up.

"What'ya do? We can't just be handing out tape measures."

"I broke his. He needs it to finish his work."

"That's a ten dollar tape measure right there."

"It's been a real pain in the ass. The wall is curved. The bed looks awful in the room."

"Well, they've already paid for the bed. There's no way I'm taking it back. Curved wall or not. It's their headache now. That's not my problem. It's already cost YOU a tape measure."