Vote JEREMY JOHNSON

King of the Missouri River

This fall when you cast your vote for the King of the Missouri River consider your choices wisely. You can vote for a vapid individual who may or may not be truthful in his claims for the throne, but that is all you will get. When you vote for Jeremy Johnson you will raise up a man who is true to his word and will get what you need done. Do not vote for just another pretty face, vote for a man of action!

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Jeremy Johnson knows taxes are a pain to file and a pain to pay. That is why Candidate Johnson will not support any movement to raise the coercive taxes, and will in fact move to CUT TAXES! Read this text, no new taxes will be supported by Jeremy Johnsonn! Now which other contender can promise that?

Nominee Johnson wants to support a family based community; such as the one that resembles the family structure in the Godfather series. Jeremy Johnson says if anyone wants to join, they can. There will be no exclusion based on sex, color, creed, and so forth.

'Helping You' is a program initiated by Jeremy Johnson that takes your input and translates it into action. If you, the voter, need something (a new significant other, someone to talk to your boss, etc) the 'family' will help you in anyway possible. If your problem persists, the 'family' is willing to make the offenders an offer they cannot refuse.

Nude America... this cause now can have a solid leader to take American into the new millennium. Jeremy Johnson will support anyone and everyone who chooses to exercise their right to be free and nude.

Going hand in hand with T.H.A.M. (The Nude America Movement) Candidate Johnson will not support military movement and will actually push for a revival of the 'make love not war' campaign. It is Jeremy's personal belief that the Russians only wanted a little love'n instead of the Cold War. Your vote for Jeremy Johnson can make sure the love is spread out for everyone.

Of the traits listed to be considered a sexy man, Candidate Jeremy Johnson exemplifies nine of the sixteen.

1. Piercings.

If unnoticed in the pictures, Jeremy has a single silver piercing in his left ear. This is not quite excessive (such as having his nipples pierced - OUCH!), but it does satiate a bit of his need to express himself.

2. Guys who read.

This link will show Jeremy's extensive library of books. Each shelf can be clicked on for a closer look.

3. Talent (especially artistic, i.e. singing, playing an instrument, painting) .

Jeremy does express quite a significant amount of talent. Not only was he a successful debater, but an avid artist. He has a plethora of notebooks sprinkled with bits and pieces of his art.

4. Some car knowledge.

Ah-hum, yes.

5. Open-minded, articulate and intelligent.

First, refer to the titles in Jeremy's private library. Additionally, remember our candidate was a successful debater so clearly his eloquence and intelligence is in no question.

6. Has a JOB.

(un)Fortunately our candidate Jeremy Johnson currently is employed at the great company of First Data Resources (evil empire). He swiftly takes care of credit card theft and fraudulent use. This just exemplifies his commitment to the goals at hand, and his loyalty. What other applicant can show how deep his character runs?

7. Self-confident, but not cocky.

Jeremy is quite a self confidant man, but he knows his limitations. That is why he will set up the family based community. Clearly Mr. Johnson cannot be everywhere at once, but if he is unable personally to take care of your need he will find an individual in the 'family' to assist you.

8. Good in the kitchen.

Our candidate is thought of in some circles as an excellent chef. His innate skills have been improved by studying the motions and wisdom of the four Iron Chefs.

9. Cleanliness.

At home Jeremy keeps his habitat clean and well picked up. He uproots any families of opossum that have taken up residency and promptly directs them to his neighbor's house. Any major cesspits are purged relatively quickly and all becomes good. His hygiene follows the same suit, and rarely is of a foul nature.