The Secret

By K. L.

The price we pay for keeping the secret of our abuse, be it sexual, physical, or verbal is a costly one. It tends to leave us an empty shell of a human being.

We tend to build a wall around is to keep us safe from further harm, yet this wall keeps us further from pain, it also keeps us from feeling and love. Soon the wall is so high and so strong it leaves us feeling alone and empty.

Everytime the secret tries to raise its ugly head we add another brick as we feel we must not let the secret out, it must not escape.

But when the secret finally does win and escape from inside those walls, you feel the pain come crashing down on you like the bricks you added to that ever growing wall, shattering that empty shell of a person so fought so hard to protect.

Now the secret lives no more, you stand and see you never had to face the secret alone. There are others out there who too have a secret they long to set free. Until you're free of the secret and tear down the walls, you can and will never be free of the guilt, pain or shame that comes with the secret.

The child who lives with judgment learns to judge.

The child who lives with hidden anger learn to manipulate.

The child who lives with abuse and aggression learns to fight and abuse.

The child who lives with guilt learn to feel one-down.

The child who lives with depression learns self-pity.

The child who lives with competition learns to be jealous.

But there are other truths about living and learning in childhood:

The child who lives with honest praise learns confidence.

The child who lives with respect learns courage.

The child who lives with unconditional acceptance learns to accept others.

The child who lives with honesty learns to be truthful.

The only way to find rainbows,

Is to look within your heart.

The only way to live fairy tales

Is through the imagination and power of your mind.

The only place to begin a search for peace

Is within your very soul;

Because rainbows, fairytales and peace

Are treasures that grow from the inside out.

-Evelyn K. Tharp

I’d finger paint more
and point the finger less

I’d do less correcting
and more connecting

I’d take my eyes off my watch
and watch with my eyes

I’d care to know less
and know to care more

I’d take more hikes
and fly more kites

I’d stop playing serious
and seriously play

I’d run through more fields
and gaze at more stars

I’d do more hugging
and do less tugging

I’d be firm less often
and affirm much more

I’d build self-esteem
and the house later

I’d teach less about love of power
and more about the power of love

If I had my child to raise all over again

*Diane Loomans*

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens
We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.

With our mouse we roam, through the rooms in a maze
Looking for something or someone, as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes
Small groups we do form, and gang up on our foes.

We wait for somebody, to type out our name
We want recognition, but it is always the same.

We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes flirt
In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.

We do form friendships - but - why we don't know
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.

Why is it on screen, we can be so bold
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.

Why is it we share, the thoughts in our mind
With those we can't see, as though we were blind.

The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell.
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.

We can't tell real people, but tell someone we must
So we turn to the 'puter, and to those we can trust.

Even though it is crazy, the truth still remains
They are Friends Without Faces, and odd little names.

Flying on the edge of Angels wings

Wanting to taste the sweet wonders freedom brings

To live in sunshine and not the black

My true self stolen- I need it back

To love and dance and sing and write

To feel the joy and not the fright

So many years are gone forever

Filled with pain and little pleasure

Please shine on me and let me know

There can be love from angels glow

I yearn for my soul, I will survive.

Time to soar and be alive.

....by Debora W.