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Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. Beepilepsy: The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence. Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here." Depotphobia: Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience Shackophobia. Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon. *PEBCAK: Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard." (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on the above is ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system." ) Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Uninstalled: Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice-president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment. Vulcan Nerve Pinch: The taxing hand position required to reach all of the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.(This is also the new more acceptable name of the 3 finger salute!)
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