MORE MESSY ENGLISH

Who are you? is fine. Who do I speak to? is bad,
You are asking a similar question, it makes me sad,
For I’m trying to sort who’s and whom’s as best I can,
It’s a good job bad English you from heaven doesn’t ban.
For I feel many would not make it, many would fall short,
As we try to remember the correct grammar we were taught.
Now just look at some of the words that change altogether
When turning singular words into plurals, or whatever!
A goose becomes geese, but a moose is not then meese!
Lots of lambs wool isn’t fleeces, it stay simply fleece.
A house becomes houses, but a mouse are not mouses,
If its mice, surely house is hice and not lots of houses!
Now a sheep stays a sheep whether he is one or many.
Oh yes! whether or wether or weather, which should it be?
This crazy language of our may even drive me to drink,
And into the depths of utter despair I may deeply sink,
Not the sink where the dishes get piled up quite inside,
But like drowning deep into water and so to hide,
Hide from your eyes, not hide meaning animal skin,
The more I write about it the more mess I get in!

M Ann Margetson © April 10, 2001

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