HARDER TO LEARN CAT
A few years ago, I told you I learned to speak dog,
And it surely helped many a creature come out of a fog,
But learning cat is harder, their colloquialisms are many,
Siamese and Burmese are so different than a regular moggey.
The tone of mews changes for the mood the cats are in,
And yes and no are almost the same so it is hard to win.
I try and ask how the cat is feeling with a purr-mew or two,
But they with disdain look at me and say, ‘What’s up the you’
Ask them if they want a treat and they say yes right away,
In or out of the back door I can understand what they say,
But when they get irate and most cats so very often do,
They give that aristocratic stare, shrivels you right through.
Humans can’t speak cat, they don’t have enough deep intellect
And when I say I will one day they treat me with total disrespect,
Then they go and speak in a dialect that is hard to understand,
Sit huddled together and whisper in cat, a wicked smile at hand.
I am getting much better but I must not let them know at all,
I answer them in cat now and then and it sends them up the wall,
Dogs show gratitude for the effort to speak dog that you make,
But the sophisticated cat all her stubborn pride it would break.
So I listen and learn and when they are least aware of me,
I answer them in cat, quite as plain as cat can ever be,
If they think I am a feline they don’t seem to mind at all,
I have to be careful that they don’t know it’s me that did call.
Twenty different mews means a hundred different things,
The purr is so complicated from want a rub to wanting a fling,
But if they give a growl from deep down somewhere inside
Everyone for miles around hurry away and find a place to hide,
(Millicent) Ann Margetson 24 April 2005