SINGULAR OR PLURAL
There are certain words that make me all confused,
A singular which sounds plural quite often used,
Like pants and scissors, bloomers or knickers
I’m sure there are more if my mind was quicker.
Putting on my pants one leg at a time, that’s right!
But I get my pant leg quite stuck if it is too tight,
Or should it be they are too tight, I do not know,
Into a vernacular tizzy my brain can easily go.
A pair of scissors surely that should be two!
But no, it’s a one, any size and colour will do,
Yet the scissor hole for my thumb is too small,
I really can not understand this English at all.
Now old fashioned underwear to a great degree
Were bloomers and knickers that few did see,
But one pair or many the words are the same,
I’ll put my head in the sand to hide from the pain.
Now sand grains are many yet the singular is used,
No wonder that many of us get so totally confused,
But this language can bring us to tender sweet tears,
Wipe away sorrow and just brush away all fears.
(Millicent) Ann Margetson 24 March 2005