The Pathmaker

There they were again: the anger and resentment that I thought I'd dealtwith and dismissed. But the wounds were open and the hurt was just asbadas if they were fresh. Over a year ago my wife left to pursue a lesbianlifestyle. In her wake, she left a husband's broken heart, theresponsibilities of raising a teenage son, and a huge mortgage we hadtakenon together.

One thing she did not leave behind was any inclination toreturn. In spite of her abandonment, we were getting by. My heart wasonthe mend. My son was doing very well with honor roll grades in school. Then, one night, I had been encouraged to see a documentary on "20/20"regarding women who left their families in mid-life to pursue thelesbianlifestyle. I heard many of the same lies which I had been listening to forover a year, only now they were being spouted over the airwaves in aneffort to make the choice legitimate. All the old wounds re-opened. Igotup the next morning feeling hurt, resentful, and angry.

When I'm thatupset, I like to walk, so I decided that the Lord and I were going tochaton the side of Monte Sano Mountain. I chose a trail I had only heardabout.I didn't know the territory, but it looked like a well marked trail so Iset out. It was wintertime. The temperature was below freezing and thewindchill was somewhere between 15-20 degrees -- cold for north Alabama,anyway. The trees were bare, their cast-off leaves covering the trail,andthe ground was still wet and muddy from a couple of days of rain. I hadtowatch my step.

So I walked -- watching my step -- and God and I talked.Mostly, I talked and ranted and cried and raved. About the hurt. Abouttheresentment. About the re-opening of the wounds. About the burdens Godhad placed on me. Then I slipped and fell. For the first time, I lookedaroundand realized that I was lost. I saw no sign of the path that wassupposedto be so well marked. I retraced my steps back through the leaves tofindsome mark which would show me the path.

Finally, I found it -- I couldseethe path clearly -- and all I had to do was look up. The pathmaker hadclearly marked the way. I couldn't see it because I was focused on thesteps I was taking. I got lost by concentrating on what was right infrontof me. Isn't it the same way in our spiritual lives? We focus sointentlyon watching the everyday steps we take that we lose sight of the signthePathmaker put up for us -- the Cross.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, theauthor and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before himenduredthe cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God.Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that youwill not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:2-3).

When we allow our problems to completely overwhelm us; when we let Satan re-open thewoundswhich have healed; when we become obsessed with our own situations;when we "micro-manage" our every step; we lose sight of the Pathmaker. We will "grow weary and lose heart" -- until we focus on Him. My return up thetrail was easy. No more slipping and falling. And I didn't get lost. Iwas watching the signs left by the pathmaker. I let the Pathmaker watch mysteps.