Once upon a time, in the country of Euthanasia, an island principality off the southern coast of europe under English Authority, there lived an old man of extraordinary mental prowess, but who, unfortunately, had little experience with the civilized world.

When it was discovered that there was a large deposit of high grade uranium ore housed beneath his goats, an official representative of Parliament was sent to negotiate. The officer was prepared to offer the old rustic a sum not to exceed ten millions pounds, to be distributed as 5,000 pounds per week until the end of the man's life. The old man, however, in a fit of Patriotism, agreed to give up his home for a mere 25,000 dollars American and a one-way ticket to Hawaii.

An agreement was drawn up and signed and the old man was given his money. (The official was wishing that all Royal Subjects had as much patriotism and as little sense.)

On arriving in Hawaii, the man went first to a shoe store and then to the first pub he encountered. As he walked through the doors of the saloon, he tripped on his shoe laces - which he had not tied properly - and fell against a burly sailor, who advised the bumpkin to find a spare right leg because he - the sailor - was going to twist off the rustic's leg and beat him senseless with it.

Now the shepherd, anxious to make friends, introduced himself as a newcomer to this strange land, but the sailor, disinclined from from any sort of friendship, laughed at him for not knowing how to tie his shoes. The shepherd explained that he had never owned a pair of shoes of this particular make and could, therefore, have no knowledge of how to tie them. The sailor laughed all the harder. Then the old man told the sailor how he had sold a great uranium mine for 25,000 dollar. The sailor, now choking with laughter, called the man an old fool who lacked even common sense.

The rustic, feeling very foolish indeed, ran out of the bar and into the forest. Presently he lives in a comfortable hutch with three beatiful concubines and an obstinate nanny goat.

The sailor went to Euthanasia to mine uranium at 300 dollars an hour. After six days he died of cancer along with the parliamentary representative. The mine was closed and the entire country declared a disaster area.

The old man sleeps til noon every day, occasionally fishes, plays chess with his concubines, and in one week has intercourse more times than would be thought humanly possible by two younger men in a month.

The local bishop calls him The Island Reprobate, but he is very, very happy.

Several million years ago, the floor of our Ocean of Wisdom was infested with an arthropod which is now affectionately known as the trilobite. It can be supposed that at any moment a casual observer stationed at teh ocean bttom should be able to see thousands of the creatures scurrying hither and thither, oblivious to the aquarian cosmos around them.

They would have been quite content to go on about their business for the rest of eternity had not Mother Nature forgotten to select them as survivors. They missed the Ark, so to speak, and met, it is hoped, with a quick and painless demise.

Now with all these millyuns and millyuns of cute little beasties hurrying all over the place for heaven knows how many eons, one would imagine that a fair amount of waste would have accumulated. This is exactly what happened. Moreover, the strong ocean currents tended to carry all of this waste into a Great Dark Abyss, somewhere in the center of the Great Sea. For age upon age, the material was piled into a huge tower at the very base of the Great Crevice.

Eventually a passing wayfarer in this aquarium of Eternal Wisdom noticed a small island poking out the surface of the sea just above The Great Abyss. He took it as a sign from God, and set out to find as much of the remaining excrement as he could, and piled it ever higher, higher, higher, until one day the tower became conspicuous in the eyes - and nose - of The Deity. But the grand finale occurred when the man, Cooper T. Russell, erected a huge sign that read "The Seeing Place", and claimed he was an emissary under the employ of the Almighty. He invited all of his friends to a party so he could praise (and boast of) the Lord's magnificent feat.

Now The Deity, normally an uncommonly patient and congenial old fellow, was already uptight because the deities of several neighboring universes had been complaining about Loud Music and a Peculiar Aroma wafting from his end of the Ethereal Plane, but when Cooper T. proclaimed proudly that he had been inspired by God to create this magnificent structure, who could blame the Elderly Gentleman for losing control of his temper.