women and children first.

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4 october 1997

5:12 p.m.

Dear diary, I think I'll just stay in today. I've tried to go out twice. For no good reason, really, except to avoid looking at a pile of laundry and a stack of dishes about to attain sentience. Both times, it looked like just another overcast October day. Both times, I got as far as Kuhio Avenue and it would start pouring. And heading back the second time, I was practically run down by a wedding procession (aren't they supposed to honk or something?). Not among the best of omens. These days, it's either brain-melting hot or raining. I like it better than always hot, but someone up there has it in for me. On Friday, it was drizzling a bit, so I ducked into Hamilton to wait it out. For the hell of it, I looked up the Austin-American Statesman to see what was up in Greg's neck of the woods. After I was convinced the rain had let up, I headed out. By the time I reached Keller, I was in the midst of a Manoa monsoon. There aren't many buildings between the mall and the parking structure... and in my panic I think I missed most of them. By the time I got to my car, I redefined the phrase "drowned rat." A puddle had collected on my backpack, which I promptly dumped on my seat. At least my umbrella managed to stay dry. With the number of duds polluting the cinematic pond now, I'm hoping "Shall We Dance" will be the last movie I'll see for a few weeks. It was excellent. Uplifting, but in a subdued, modest way. It also said a lot about Japanese domestic life. As was perhaps required by romantic law, Derek suggested afterward that we take up classic dancing. "Never again," I said. He actually looked relieved when I declined. Yes. I took ballroom dancing lessons once. A community group held them in a grade school cafeteria in Kailua. The mother of an ex had started going, and dragged us to a few sessions. Now, I wasn't the most coordinated person on earth (though I'm probably more of a klutz now), and neither was my partner. It wasn't pretty. And everyone there was three times our age, at least. I don't know why the first question elderly folk ask young couples is, "When are you kids getting married?" We'd barely gotten started on the meringue -- an insultingly simple step that was doubly insulting because we couldn't get it down -- when he dumped me. And I still suspect his loopy, rabbit-obsessed mom had something to do with it. I'm hopeful the movie landscape will perk up soon. What made my day was hearing the Mr. Bean movie is opening in the U.S., finally. I only managed to tape five episodes off HBO before my mom decided to grow a conscience, but they were enough to convince me that Rowan Atkinson was the greatest comedic genius of our time. Yes, even more clever than John Cleese. What else? "A Life Less Ordinary" looks like it's trying to revive and ride the "Trainspotting" tide, but I'll see it anyway 'cause I love Ewan McGregor. Christmas will bring "Titanic," the movie that beat the "Waterworld" budget record. (What the... all that hype and the website isn't finished yet?). "Just days before Princess Diana's tragic death..." Vultures, I tell you. Sure, International Collectors Society sounds pretty classy. Sure those "comemmorative stamps" look pretty legit. At least to people without a clue, who unfortunately compose the majority of the American population. Yeah, the stamps were coming out anyway... the fact that she just died was just a coincidence. Planned all along to run millions of dollars in television advertising, sure, sure. The International Collectors Society is run out of Maryland, for chrissakes. And these "legal tender" stamps can be used to mail letters... as long as you're in the superpower nation of Togo. Where the fuck is Togo? (No, I guess I'm not over the Di thing.) With every week that passes, I like Elton John less and less. And I never liked him much to begin with, especially after that "Lion King" tune. I have no doubt his new album had a lot to do with why he decided to pay so touching and so swift a public tribute to his "old friend." I'm sorry, he didn't sneak a track from it on the benefit single just to use up the space. You know, when that single came out -- and promptly sold out -- the local television stations went down to music stores to film the disappointed faces of dozens of sheep staring longingly at the big flashy display. They then dutifully reported when the new shipment was in. This is news?