home is where you hang yourself.

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last seen: weaving with laughter

28 january 1996 7:28 p.m.

Though my hip-hopping, pop-mongering coworkers are incapable of appreciating it, there's a kind of ridiculous charm to Radio Free Hawai`i. Half the deejays sound like they're 17 years old, and all have high um, er and giggle ratios. The banter is rarely above sophomoric, songs skip, and they lose CDs. Frankly, the whole operation is run with even less precision and professionalism than college radio. And I can't get enough of it. Everyone thinks they can do a better job programming the station, so everyone does. The playlist is set by statewide -- and internet -- ballot. You really really never know what you're going to hear. I was driving home tonight, and after a couple of punk songs, Lips (veteran RFH deejay) segued indelicately into Mozart. His 19th Symphony, I think. After all thirteen minutes or so were up, Lips sighed and said, "Wow... we're all getting culture and shit." With any other station, I'd doubt what I just heard. Surely, I thought, Lips is beating himself up now. The station's relationship with the FCC, as far as I could tell, was anything but cordial. I tried to remember what the one-time obscenity broadcast fee was. Poor Lips, I thought. Now that boy's in some real trouble. Then, the next song ended. Lips picked up a call. "Hello, Radio Free," he said. "Hey," a girl's voice said. "Did you know you just said 'shit'?" "What was that?" Lips asked, not missing a beat. "We heard you say 'shit,'" she squealed. "You think I said 'shit'?" he said. "Yeah," she said, pausing a second as she perhaps realized the insanity of the conversation, which was being broadcast at prime drive-time in a major metropolitan market. "I didn't know you could say 'shit' on the air." "I didn't say 'shit," Lips asserted. "I said, 'We're getting culture and... shrrrrrrt.'" "Shrrt?" "Yeah. Culture and shrrt." "My friend said she's sure you said 'shit.'" Then Lips' pager went off. I love this station. My favorite specialty show of all is on now -- Norm's "When Rock Was Young." Fifties and sixties stuff. Although it's mostly songs you could find on any best-of collection, I like how he mixes in some obscure stuff (he's got a thing for Beatles B-sides). I think I'm probably the only hardcore fan (notable, given as how I wasn't even a zygote when this stuff was popular), but my overly enthusiastic e-mail is apparently enough to keep it going. Just last week an all-oldies station took over KAOI, a Maui station that was another favorite of mine. I think it's programmed entirely by computer, though -- I haven't heard a single human deejay yet. It just can't beat Norm, one of the coolest living hippie artifacts in this state. Word of the Day: "movie" ki`i `oni`oni (kee- `ee oh- ni on- ni) Nui ke ki`i `oni`oni maika`i i keia makahiki. "There are many good movies this year." (Many the movie good [dative marker] this year.) So many movies, so few weekends. (At least weekends I can drag myself out of bed.) With all the movies we've said we "have to see," Derek and I are taking bets on who's going to go broke first. We saw two movies on Sunday -- First Strike and Fierce Creatures. I know I should churn out reviews, but there's barely enough time to take a breath before the next ticket is torn. While I hoard kaki mochi for "Hamlet" (which doesn't get here 'til Feb. 14), there's the "Star Wars" re-release on Friday, the gang at work wants to see "Scream," and Derek wants to see "In Love and War" (Sandra Bullock... someone shoot me). We're also supposed to squeeze in "Shine" before it goes away. Any film with any art to it barely lasts a blink of an eye in this town. You know, the number of URLs we're exposed to in an average movie outing these days is scary. Now, every time a preview comes on, I immediately look for the website. Derek's been grumbling more and more about moving out. Anywhere else, you'd think "it's about time," given his age. But in Hawai`i, where rents are high and homes average around $300,000, kids pushing 40 still live with mom and dad. Actually, Dennis put the idea into his head -- he's moving into his own apartment next week. Not about to let his brother alone enjoy the free furniture benefits offered by Parents, Inc., Derek's trying to talk himself into it. I think a fear of dishes (a chore that he's granted specific exemption from at home) is the only thing holding him back. I've already committed to look at places with him to make sure he doesn't overlook some obvious problems (like, say, parking). Pearl City is cheaper, Makiki is closer... picking a neighborhood is the first step. He said he's scared of Waikiki. I'm not sure how to take that just yet.