Police Warning Tickets...

Someone recently sent me a list of police comments that were reportedly were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Here are some of my favorites:

"Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear the Police Commissioner is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
"Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."