Microsoft and Cars...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

For no reasons whatever your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car will die on the freeway for no reasons, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car 95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five-times as fast, and twice and easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "General Car Default" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.
Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
GM would require all car buyers to also purchase deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover GM would become a target for investigations by the Justice Department.
Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
You’d press the start button to shut off the engine.

New Language For The E-mail Millennium...

You can't teach an old mouse new clicks.
Great groups from little icons grow.
Home is where your @ is.
The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
C: is the root of all directories.
Pentium wise: paper and pen foolish.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
The geek shall inherit the Earth.
A chat has nine lives.