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	There was once a man named Sylvester,
	Whose wife he did much pester,
		And so to endear him,
		She wrote him the theorem,
	That ruined my whole damn semester!

	There was once a fly on the wall,
	I wonder why it didn't fall,
		Because its feet stuck,
		Or was it just luck,
	Or does gravity miss things so small?

	A young man with wobbly eyes,
	Used to muddle his g's and his y's,
		When he said 'guess',
		I guess he meant 'yes',
	And 'yugs' was how he said 'guys'

	I had a twin sister Marie,
	Who went off at a speed close to c,
		She came back one day,
		In a relative way,
	And ended up younger than me.

	There was a young man from Darjeeling,
	Who got on a bus bound for Ealing,
		It said at the door:
		"Don't spit on the floor",
	So he carefully spat on the ceiling.

	A confused secret agent named Jack,
	Hoped he wouldn't be given the sack,
		When his raise was denied,
		When he said he had spied,
	On Iran, or perhaps Iraq.

	There was a young lad called Davy,
	Who hated the food in the Navy,
		He couldn't have beef,
		In case his false teeth,
	Would drop out and fall in the gravy.

	From the elephant paddock one day,
	They took poor Barbara Woodhouse away,
		There's no harm, in the least,
		Shouting 'Sit' to the beast,
	But she should have got out of the way.

	When a top-ranking accountant was dead,
	His stone showed, in letters bright red,
		Quite simple and clear,
		His completed career:
	Here we debit Mr. Mabvoro it said.

	There was an Old Person of Dean,
	Who dined on one Pea and one Bean,
		For he said, "More than that,
		Would make me too fat".
	That cautious Old Person of Dean.