Hail Harold!

Let's say for the sake of argument that there's only one god. Let's say (again for the sake of arguement) that his name is Harold. And, just to be specific, Harold likes apricots. A lot. In fact, the only proper way to worship Harold is to stand in the middle of a busy highway eating an apricot and yelling about how absolutely scrumptious it is, and how great it is to be eating apricots in Harold's service. (As a result of this by the way, Harold's followers have an unusually high number of deaths due to being hit by cars going at high speeds) Of course, when you're experiencing the joy of eating apricots in Harold's service, you want everyone else to experience it to. This natural and purely friendly impulse on your part is met with hostility from all the followers of the false gods Walter and Herman. Okay, so all of what you've read so far seems absolutely absurd. It does serve a purpose however, by setting up a situation for us. So, we can now ask ourselves, is Harold's hypothetical follower really helping people by preaching to others? One of the first things that will occur in the minds of the people being preached to (the followers of the false gods Walter and Herman to be exact) is that Harold's disciple seems awfully arrogant. Rather than respecting their beliefs and learning about them, this person simply walks up and starts telling them that they're wrong and should immediately start eating apricots with all the true children of Harold. You and I of course, know that this apricot eating group really IS right, because that's part of the setup of this world. But, how are the followers of the false gods Walter and Herman supposed to know this? Harold's follower may unknowingly be pushing them away from Harold by this show of what appears to be arrogance and close-mindedness. Also, perhaps the religion of Walter requires that its followers eat grapefruit in bomb shelters. It's entirely possible that at the time of this preaching, Walter's followers are perfectly happy with what they're already doing and have no interest in Harold. Perhaps it's true that only after they've done this for a while will they truly be able to appreciate the sweet taste of apricot under the open sky of a highway. If this is so, then nothing Harold's follower can do will change their minds, because they're not yet ready for the true religion of Harold. And, if they would have become ready later, they may choose to stay away from Harold because of their less-than-fond memories of being badgered about becoming one of his followers. So, in this less-than-sensible format I've shown why I prefer to offer information without extending to the point of preaching. (Oh, and if you're wondering, the followers of the false god Herman hang upside down from monkey bars drinking chocolate milkshakes and singing the French national anthem.) Copyright © 1998 Cossie All Rights Reserved The current URL is: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/1492/library/harold.html Return to the library.

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