September 2, 1998 - (b) Some more reflectory...

I've received this poem in mailbox at least twice. The first time, I thought it was an insightful poem, all consecutive times were accompanied with, "Hmm.. I've gotten this before." I found it again in my old computer that no longer receives mail, and for the first, I think, I really appreciated the depth of the poem.

I'd suggest you keep it a while, and maybe in a year or two, look back and see what your thoughts are and they compare to the first time. They may surprise you: what you've learned, what opinions you've changed...

In general, I think we all know what it's about. But I found it at a time when it reminded me of friends. Of those who I've travelled with, shared so much with, and lost. And then it made me reflect on who my real friends are, and how they've affected me. Okay, maybe saying "real" friend is a little misleading. As if there are only two categories of friends -- real and unreal :P So, in the light of post-modernism, I'm going to coin my own term! A soul- friend. Okay, that sounds corny, but it's the best I could do at short notice.

I've learned that friendship isn't just putting two people together. It's putting one and the other in each other's hands. It's hard to explain. But in a real friendship, the people involved learn about themselves...and that learning is shared. It takes two sides to give and take. Almost in the sense that friendship isn't totally, and isn't totally given. It takes a little bit of both...and a lot of effort and a bit of tolerance.

Not everyone can be soul-friends, which is okay. Acquaintances, friends due to seeing them all the time, etc, are just as important. Most of us have such friends, but having a soul-friend is like stumbling on a jewel in a middle a pile of stones.

And contrary to popular belief, it doesn't necessarily last forever. Though, I don't blame anyone who'll try to keep it going for as long as they can. I certainly would. But more so, what has been received of that friendship is the thing that last a long time---consciously or subconsciously.

I wish I could adequately describe a soul-friend, but apparently it takes more than my writing skills to do so. What I wish to convey is that a soul-friend involves so much more than finding him or her, which is what a lot of people focus on..Granted, you can consider yourself one lucky pal to have found him/her. Still, after that... well, that's a road most beautiful and strange. It isn't there just for you to reap the benefits, either. You've got to get down and make it grow as well. And sometimes, you don't know if it's that sort of special friendship until after..and that's the risk you take, or you won't ever find out. And it's a big risk; a risk that you have to take with yourself.

Anyway, I apologize for not being articulate enough. So, read the poem again. Now that's one damn good piece of work.

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