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May 27, 1998

Have I ever mentioned about my reading crusade? I must have. I should have. Well, I will have.

It's one of the most disconcerting things, really. See, I spent about the majority of 1997 conditioning myself to a strict set of study habits. I didn't exactly succeed, but I didn't come out of it unscathed, either. As a professed read-a-holics (or is that book-a-holics?), I was inclined to be more attracted to the novels than my textbooks. Somewhere along the line, I developed a sense of guilt whenever I picked up a book for pleasure. The guilt didn't motivate me enough to pick up the textbook as often as I should have, but it did stop me from picking up a novel as often as I would have liked.

In the last few months of 1997, I started to find a stack of books that kept building up on me--to be read later. I wanted to read a book, but each time I did, I felt there was something else I should be doing..in this case, studying. But who in their right mind actually 'studied' that much? Didn't want to study, couldn't read.. What could I do? So, I slept.

I have broken the habit of sleeping in the afternoons now..especially since sleeping on the job was not an option. But that leaves me to my other "problem". I still have trouble reading novels without the nagging feeling that I should stop and do something more "productive". More productive? Yeesh, I've been brain-washed! And it's ever so hard to enjoy reading with that sort of thinking programmed into my mind.

Thus far, I've read.. a handful of books in the past five months. What would have been a minimum number for one month, once a long time ago. It feels good to finish a book. I'm getting there.. slowly. They say one of the things a writer should do is to read, read, read.. maybe I'll battle my Writer's Bloc this way, too.

I'm gonna reclaim my right to a guilt-free reading, I am!

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