The Best Advice

I really don't know why everyone I know askes me for advice. All through high school, everyone came to ask me about what to do about this or that... mostly relationship things, which puzzled me even more, because at that time, I had never ever had a boyfriend. In fact, I didn't have one untill I was 20 years old, and crammed all my good firsts into one week in July, 1997. (See Page O' Lovin') So why pick me of all people? Well, much like the most popular date in every high school, I put out.

People asked me for advice, and I gave it. I lectured. I would talk for hours, and adding to my fame as the Prophet Tara, I was usually right. I have a sixth sense about people... I've always thought that, but in my high school days I appeared to be all knowing with a vengence. My motto was, "Come to me, I know all, and I will fix your poroblems." And my friends all said, "okie!"

But like all trumped up, farty little gits, an end came to my reign of terror. I almost lost a friendship, my best friend, by pretending to be the omnicient, wonderful, manipulating, me. And if you ever read this, Rob, I'm very very sorry about that. I was a fool.

And after that, my motto became, "The best advice is no advice." I even wrote that in one of my rants once, about chat ediquette. But now, I'd like to change my motto once more, since I find myself incresingly hounded for advice, "The best advice is vague, senseable advice."

My boyfriend and I have held together a long distance relationship for two and a half years, only 18 weeks of which we've spent in the same state. And yet, we never fight, we have a wonderful raport, we enjoy each other wholeheartedly, and can talk for hours at a time. The girls at work say, "I don't know how you and him do it." and I say, "I don't know either..." But I do know.

So here is the best relationship advice you will ever get from anyone, from the formerly omnicient, me.

1. Communication.
a:Talk. It doesn't matter about what, because the more you talk, the better you will get at talking. And once you get really good at talking, you can talk about things like feelings.
b:Listen. Really listen to what your partner says. Look into thier eyes, and really, really hear what they are saying. Ask questions, and make sure you know what they mean. This is more important than talking.

2. Time. Treasure every moment, because you never know when you will have another. Make time for your mate, and make sure they make time for you too. And if they don't, then use #1, and have a serious talk about feelings.

3. Never Yell. By the time your voice is loud enough to be concidered yelling, you are not thinking about what you say. You are saying the first think that comes into your head, and that's not always best. Take a deep breath, and a pause. Really think about what you want to say, and then in a calm voice, say it. This will prevent molehills from becoming mountians.

and finally,

Pressure. Try not to force each other into situations. Don't tell each other what to wear or eat, when to go to the doctor's, or when to ask for a raise. Let your partner make his or her own decisions, in thier own time. If it bothers you, tell them, but make sure you make it clear, in your calmest voice, that you are not pushing them around, you just want them to know how you feel. And the one thing, absolutely one thing, you should never pressure anyone to do, is tell you about family problems. That has caused the most fights I have ever seen.

So there you have it, the best advice I got. Now I can just hand the girls at work this web addie, because I have nothing more to give, I've given up beeing all powerful, and fixing problems, and being supernaturaly endowed with the ability to feel others emotions... I just want to spend a lazy summer with the love of my life.

Happy relationships, and good luck, to all.