If you don't already know, I work in a grocery store in New England. I have a few beefs about the annoying things that you, as consumers, do to make our lives, as employees, a living hellish nightmare. Just keep my opinions in mind next time you catch yourself saying some of these things.
For example, do you have to all make the same dumb jokes? Is there a guy who might look a little like Jerry Lewis or David Letterman sitting in his car out side the store handing out joke books to you people? Oh you know what I mean. Jokes like : "It won't scan? Oh well then it must be free!". I hate that joke. It's stupid. As Americans you have been rasied in a consumer based society with one message that should always be your mantra : TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch). Nothing is free in this society, and even to sugest that this is so in even the lamest attempt at humor is just plain sad.
A few other little annoying things you people tend to say:
At the Lottery counter : "I'll have one So-and-So ticket, but only if it's a winner." or "I don't care which one, just pick me a winner." Now the problem with this is two things. First, if I knew where the winners were, I would have bought them and gone home two years ago. And secondly, and also more seriously, what is going on here is that the customer, who has just spen anything from one to five dollars on any single losing ticket is saying this so that in thier mind they can justify this money that very well could have gone into that Kenny G CD. In other words, if they lose, in their minds, it's my fault. Here is what goes on in thier heads sub-conciously: "Well I asked for a winner, but that dumb bitch sold me a looser, on purpose!". Then out loud they say something to the effect of : "Oh, why did you sell me a loser?" and I have to smile to keep my job and politely say "It's not me it's the State" while I try to resist the urge to beat you over the head with my stapler.
While I'm cleaning something : "Oh, I see they've got you women cleaning." No. This is just wrong. Girls, do you see the main problem with this? Good. And second of all, my store that I work in is very sexist. There are strict un-written rules that are adhered to that are just now in 1996 starting to break down. These rules have kept me out of the ends department, keep women from being managers and for the most part keep the women from cleaning. In our store we send the teenage sackers to go and mop the floors and clean the windows, in an attempt to keep thier delicate hands free to be cashiers. If I am mopping the floor it is because I have undergone the personal strugle to be treated like any other member of my department, both male and female. Now while I understand that is sort of a personal struggle fo ryou to understand and anticipate, so don't say it anyway. Based only on the first premise that the statement is just generally sexist and degrading, don't say it.
While I'm doing something disgusting : "You're doing a great job!" And while I'm writing the specials on the blackboard out side : "So, you're the artist!" I don't need your pity. There is no art involved at all in writing the words : "Bumble Bee Tuna / chunk light / oil or water / 2 for $1.00". Don't infer that there is. and I know I'm doing something gross, it's not a good job, I'm not enjoying it, and I'm not doing a good job because of it.
While I'm trying to ring up your order and bag it at the same time because six sackers called in sick suspicially on the night of the Kitty Karry All show : "Where's all your help today?" It's lame, it's not funny, it shows no real concern for my well being, and it is slowly driving me over the edge when I'm halfway there to my goal of ripping your vocal chords out with my boxcutter and slamming them in a freezer bag so they won't drip on your greeting cards. And while we're on the subject. In this situation, why do you just stand there and stare at me? Why can't you help me bag your groceries? And you know what makes me feel ten times worse? When you say out loud to a member of your group : "Well, it's her job. I'm the customer, I shouldn't have to work." If you ever find your self in my line and you say this, I'll give you a running head start.
Said to me while I'm ringing up your order and for a change I do have some help : "Paper bags, please." This is subtle why it annoys me. The reason is, why are you asking me and not the sacker? He's the one that has to bag your stuff, why not tell him. Do you think he speaks a foriegn language? Do you think that I have to translate in to swahili? Along these lines, when one of management's attempts to broaden our employee spectrum places an obviously phisically or mentally challanged person at the foot of my register, must the customer ask rude questions loud enough for them to hear? "Can he do this job?" "They hired him?" and my favorite, "Can he understand me?". They are not dogs, and they wouldn't be working there if they can't handle the job. We don't put them there just for showpeices. And one more thing along these lines. I have a friend who works with me as a sacker. Through the uncanny sense of humor that mother nature has, he looks like he is twelve years old, when he is really 18. Must you as consumers ask me the questons, "Is he old enough to work here?" and "I thought you had to be sixteen to work here." or just pointing at him with that look on your faces. First it's rude, and second, he does have ears and a mouth and some feelings, if you're brave, ask him, not me.
"I'm going to take my buisness elsewhere!" Good. I'm Glad. Less work for me to do at the end of the night putting back everything you misplaced. And while I'm letting you have a peice of my mind... I don't care, and neither do any of my managers. We are a large corporation. For every one of you that threatens to move your busness elsewhere, there are six others just finding out that we are cheeper and nicer than the competition and another six are seeing out television ads and hearing about us on the radio. You're going elsewhere? OH I'M DEVISTATED! Go have a good time, just remember, they think the same way over there.
Finally the question I hate the most :
"Do you know where the bathroom is?" No I've only worked here for two and a half years, I don't know where the bathroom is! Every employee in every establishment that has a rest room knows where it is. It's one of the first things they show you on the tour. Don't ask us if we know, just ask where it is. If you ask me if I know, I usually just reply "yes." and then walk away as quickly as possible. I can understand an employee not knowing where the aspic is for example, but not all of us are great chefs. Most of us do however spend conciderable time in the bathroom.