IQ Heebie-Jeebies

As frenetic phrenological fanatics measured cogs in all our cognitive capacities by noogies on our noggins,

Others thought that thought was caught by numbers numbly correlated, calculating coefficients tagging us with g!

Al Binet said, "Let's go get those kids who need some extra help" and made a test of simple items that most kids could do

But Goddard and Lew Terman said, "Defective dolts surround us but we'll test their stupid children and we'll help our country, too."

(Chorus):
I've got those IQ heebie-jeebies.
What will we do with humanity?
Classify and limit them
and to hell with their dignity!

A super from an institution headed up a super group of IQ groupies souping up the standards of who's stupid.

They moved foul lines dividing who's retarded from just slow and though some said, "That's just not fair," they said, "It's fair. We're umps. Our call."

So thousands were selected by one test and dumped in special classes, labeled EMR, and forgotten as if dead.

Because their IQ's were a little low, but who's to say that they were tagged for needed help or needed help 'cause they were tagged?

(Chorus)

Nowadays the labels have proliferated: MR, DD, LD, ADHD, and M-O-U-S-E.

Though the law says "Label them, then teach them individually," treating kids as labels trumps sensibility.

When you hear some jargon such as subtest, scatter, hyperactive, mental age, be sure to know what's coming at you next.

"This kid will never do the things that normal kids will do." It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy and makes its target hexed.

(Chorus)

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