Cubie-mates
Dilbert ran back to his cubicle with a hot cup of coffee in his hands. "OH
NO! NOT AGAIN!" he cried as the coffee spilled, giving him third-degree
wrist burns. He danced around waving his arms in the air and splattered
coffee on the newest temp. The temp immediately spiraled around and fell
face-first in the puddle of coffee, lapping it up like a dog. It was
obvious that he never got to the break room in between meetings. The temp
walked away sucking coffee stains out of his shirt. Wally poked his head
out of a nearby cube.
"What's going on?" Wally called.
"Take a guess," Dilbert yelled back.
"Ah. Temp and a coffee spill. Say no more."
Suddenly, the Boss appeared. "C'mon! It's time for the preliminary
premeeting planning meeting!"
Dilbert jumped and flung the cup, hitting Wally and knocking him out.
"Don't sneak up behind me!" Dilbert yelled. The Boss frowned.
"Okaaaay... I want you to work on the problem of why people sneak up on
eachother and scare them. And I want hourly status reports."
Dilbert raised an eyebrow. "What relevance does that have to our meeting?"
The Boss smiled. "Ummm... None. But work on it anyways. Now, onto the
meeting."
Dilbert almost fell asleep several times as the Boss described the new
budget cuts. The only thing that kept him awake was the sound of computers
in the background. He tried to distinguish what each person was doing by
the beeps of the computers and the clacking of fingers on keys. 'Let's see
here... E-mail... .Zipping something... downloading naughty pictures--' he
thought, but was cut short as the building shook. Outside the window, he
could see a large cube shape fill the sky. "Dang," he muttered, "looks just
like the Borg from Star Trek..." Then, when nearby buildings erupted from
phaser fire, Dilbert slowly got up and ran to his cube.
*Dogbert! Get over here, quick! Bring Bob!* #E-mail Sent#
Dogbert got off his pillow and hit the 'check e-mail' button on the
computer. "Bob! Get your tail in here!" When a long thin thing with spikes
wiggled in, Dogbert yelled, "And the rest of you."
Bob went in and reattached his tail. "Yeah," he said.
Dogbert pushed Bob toward the car. "Get in. I'll drive."
"Ohboyohboyohboy!" Bob rubbed his hands together. "I get to practice the
Wedgie Whip! Oh boy!!!"
Dilbert placed a shoulder on Bob's hand... er... a hand on Bob's
shoulder... "Calm yourself... OH, crap!" Dilbert yelled as the Borg
suddenly beamed in. Two Borg stood there and looked at Dilbert, frozen in
fear.
One Borg stepped up and patted Dilbert's stomach. "He's a little on the
chubby side. You think we should take him?"
The other shrugged. "Why not? We could use the 'valuable' technical
knowledge stored in his brain. HA!"
The first smiled slightly. "Ah, what the heck..." it muttered. It turned
to Dilbert. "This won't hurt more than a company drug test. Now, turn
around and drop your trousers."
The second grinned. "I love this part..."
A Borg looked inside the office. "No one's here... Wait a minute..." It
smelled the air. "Donuts... behind the desk!" It overturned the desk and
saw the Boss there, chewing on a donut. "Aha! The last one! Let's put him
through quality Borg management training!"
End
This Story Thanks To : Ken Raymond
