Its sexy.-Jordan Whaley when speaking on the Melissa virus
That dirt today is really looking attractive. Its turning me on.-Jordan Whaley On the Earth
Every time you step on the ground it makes me angry because you are stepping on my lover.-Jordan Whaley
I wanna be a tugboat, I wanna be a tugboat. I wanna go around in circles and go "toot-toot!"-Jordan Whaley
I really used to like killing frogs.-Jordan Whaley
I'm the Invisible Man! I'm the Invisible Man!-Jordan Whaley in song
The Ants go marching on and on!-Jordan Whaley
I was named after Jack the Ripper-Jordan Michael Whaley
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of reading Cry, the Beloved Fagget-Jordan Whaley
Thorg hungry! Thorg want eat!-Jordan Whaley
You realize you're not talking to a man...you're talking to...an immortal.-Jordan Whaley
I had my gums removed last week.-Jordan Whaley
Caligula...Nebula...thats not too far off.-Jordan "Jupiter" Whaley
The Unabomber should be President.-Jordan Whaley
So if you touch it, you get electricuted?-Jordan Whaley On Electrical Tape
What's my girlfriend's name?-Jordan Whaley
"The" is her middle name.-Jordan Whaley
You know what, sometimes I like to repeat myself.-Jordan Whaley
You know what, sometimes I like to repeat myself.-Jordan Whaley
I wanna invite Bill Clinton to my presentation, because I want to shoot him.-Jordan Whaley
And now here I am, spitting everywhere.-Jordan Whaley
Dobermans are tiny ones-Jordan Whaley
You walk in and see this giant shadow...and its a chihuahua. And it says "Drop the chalupa."-Jordan Whaley
There is an "h" in "chihuahua."-Jordan Whaley When trying to fix the spelling of the previous quote
You made a site dedicated to some insane freak!-Jordan Whaley Commenting on this site
You know, I'm going to get all the recognition for this site.-Jordan Whaley Exactly....
Hey, there's my girlfriend.-Jordan Whaley Speaking on the Earth
Yeow-Jordan Whaley Refering to a clip art woman
Soupy.-Jordan Whaley
I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to myself.-Jordan Whaley
The sound of a loading shotgun in the background as I say that.-Jordan Whaley
NRA, aren't they the ones that control the guns?-Jordan Whaley When receiving a "yes" he began chanting "NRA, NRA"
They need em to kill each other!-Jordan Whaley On Guns in Space
Mlah! Yes you heard me right, Mlah! Mlah!-Jordan Whaley
I don't need to prove anything to you, I'm Jay Rolek. I'm above proof!-Jordan Michael Whaley
Who was it? Do we know her?-Jordan Whaley
Did you dye your brain color this morning?-Jordan Whaley
I am interested in eating ham.-Jordan Whaley Spoken at random
I do not a drunk.-Jordan Whaley
My preformance is ultra.-Jordan Whaley
Its not easy being an immortal, I can't help it.-Jordan Whaley
I have millions and millions of women out there that are wanting my attention.-Jordan Whaley
Prison is awesome, they get cable, and games and computer access!-Jordan Whaley
I am not a boy, I am a god.-Jordan Whaley
I cannot wait to dig into the women at the Sheraton (Hotel).-Jordan Whaley
I am going to erase the Demo-craps from the face of the Earth.-Jordan Whaley
You did not know that I wrote the Dead Sea Scrolls?-Jordan Whaley
Pac-Man has a really big stomach-Jordan Whaley
No, he's the guy that got me off in the first place.-Jordan Whaley
Everything...MUST BE MAXIMIZED!!!!-Jordan Whaley
You can't ski in the warm weather.-Jordan Whaley
I'm not human for the last time.-Jordan Whaley
Xenophobia rules!-Jordan Whaley
There are a lot of people around here, some of them are just invisible.-Jordan Whaley
Hey, don't go there. Jay Rolek has better taste than that.-Jordan Whaley
I am Mr. Monopoly.-Jordan Whaley
I am now undeniably the man with the golden bowling pin.-Jordan Whaley
I have a whole library of guns in my house.-Jordan Whaley
I said "IN"! I said "IN"!-Jordan Whaley
I enjoy "pretending" to be an idiot.-Jordan Whaley
That was kinda gross by even my standards.-Jordan Whaley
All the people in this room are invisible now, because I can make them invisible.-Jordan Whaley
I control the elements-Jordan Whaley
Dr. Unabomber...I like the sound of that.-Jordan Whaley
Ted Kazinsky, what a man to look up to.-Jordan Whaley
See, I'm not afraid to fight the system.-Jordan Whaley
Ted Kazinsky is one of the few men that comes close to my level of intelligence.-Jordan Whaley
Get that rifle away from me, I did!-Jordan Whaley
Let me laminate your head.-Jordan Whaley
Al Gore does not have a soul.-Jordan Whaley
I'm not delusional, I'm a diabolical genius.-Jordan Whaley
The Earth has infiltrated your computer. It now turns me on as the Earth once did.-Jordan Whaley
Remember, there are all these invisible people in here.-Jordan Whaley
I am Jay Rolek, and I have the right to pass judgement on whoever I see fit. Thank you very much.-Jordan Michael Whaley
How does the egg get back in the egg?-Jordan Whaley
Earthquakes are scarey!-Jordan Whaley In a happy tone
That horse is so sexy!-Jordan Whaley
I am not a beastialitist.-Jordan Whaley
You ought to see what I do when I get home.-Jordan Whaley
Every girl wants me.-Jordan Whaley
People at airports are evil.-Jordan Whaley
I can see right through people. I have X-ray eyes.-Jordan Whaley
I need guns, guns guns guns.-Jordan Whaley
Ah, there we go. There are my guns.-Jordan Whaley
Oh No! Its the drop toe-hold!-Jordan Whaley
I cannot wait till Michael Myers comes back.-Jordan Whaley
I can do this cause Dr. Yes said I could!-Jordan Whaley
The state of Massachusetts has infected my computer!-Jordan Whaley
Doesn't "intelligence" have an "i" in it?-Jordan Whaley
Dur!-Jordan Whaley
Why do people around here think I'm stupid?-Jordan Whaley
Yeah, Duck-Jordan WhaleyWhen asked how to survive a bomb blast.
Do muscles leave fingerprints?-Jordan Whaley
If she's a liberal, I'll just have to meet her just so I can put her head in a guillotine. Off with her head!-Jordan Whaley
All women love me!-Jordan Whaley
Jordan: Take all the government people and put them in Washington (D.C.). Then drop all the nuclear bombs on them.Starfly: But that would destroy a lot of the east coast too.
Jordan: I have "Reflect."
If they don't agree with me, they don't deserve to be alive.-Jordan Whaley
I've had more women in my life than you'll ever have!-Jordan Whaley I don't think the blow up variety count
I don't like saying my own name in vain.-Jordan Whaley
I don't count as a normal person-Jordan Whaley
I'm not insane, I just pretend to be.-Jordan Whaley
No! No! I'm not a Liberal!-Jordan Whaley Made a choking gurgle sound while saying
A man who eats much food gains much hair.-Jordan Whaley
I can speak Spanish..."TACO BELL!"-Jordan Whaley
In the closet of the woman's pants.-Jordan Whaley
I learned that 90% of the people that are in my Social Issues class...need to have their heads put in a guillotine!-Joran Whaley
Yes, its has an exclamation!-Jordan Whaley
In theory, you can make a fart into a drink.-Jordan Whaley
After it becomes a liquid it becomes a solid, which would be fart cake.-Jordan Whaley
Did someone leave a fart in your brain?-Jordan Whaley
I find that if I stick my tounge in an electircal socket I get a nice flow of amperes flowing through my tounge! YAAA!-Jordan Whaley
Y-A-Y, don't you know how to spell?-Jordan Whaley
Starfly's Helper: Do you ever stop and think what pop culture would be like if there was never a Sigmund Frued?
Jordan:I think it would smell like chickens!
Nature can't do anything. Nature is dead. I ate it.-Jordan Whaley
Ika-Poo!-Jordan Whaley
I don't have children now...I ate them.-Jordan Whaley
I don't like peace. Peace is bad.-Jordan Whaley
The KKK consists of people that come back from the dead and roam around under bedsheets like ghosts.-Jordan Whaley
I'm the one with the loud clap.-Jordan Whaley
So, who took your balls and put them up for sale on E-bay?-Jordan Whaley
I don't like Dan Rather, he's communist...and he's gay on the side.-Jordan Whaley
My brain is big, it cannot be stored in this body.-Jordan Whaley
Tissues are good food.-Jordan Whaley
The Lich Lord is coming. He will use his black magic to turn you into a battery.-Jordan Whaley
Oh wait, wrong movie.-Jordan Whaley
The guy came for me, he put me under his spell.-Jordan Whaley
The Lich Lord can destroy the dragons!-Jordan Whaley
The California Angels are mine.-Jordan Whaley
This is called a stock quote.-Jordan Whaley
There is no lich on my shoulder.-Jordan Whaley
Hold on, I am fighting for the wrong religion, suddenly I am promoting liches.-Jordan Whaley
The lich that came to me was a black lich, not a grey lich.-Jordan Whaley
Then God will destroy the liches.-Jordan Whaley
That's a nice name..."Ogre-fall".-Jordan Whaley Said Like it was a Vision
Hitler was a freak.-Jordan Whaley
Get Baaaad, Not Glaaad.-Jordan Whaley No noise before saying
Fear is P43R.-Jordan Whaley
One more quote from me? That's sick, you'll get 10 more.-Jordan Whaley
It doesn't matter if they're bigger, they have to taste better for me to consider them "enhanced."-Jordan Whaley On Genetically Enhanced Salmon...we think
I wish there were some Genetically Enhanced Women in here.-Jordan Whaley
When you play God it's when you're sitting up there in the clouds on your throne saying "Bow to Me!"-Jordan Whaley
I do not look like a turtle.-Jordan Whaley
If you rearrange the "E" and "A" in Elian Gonzales you get "Alien". Now that's a real exciting thing to know about this, but Janet Reno still needs to be burned at the stake!-Jordan Whaley Gonzelas?
I am not Captain Planet. My name is Rolek!-Jordan Michael Whaley
Spoon! Spoon! He's our man! He can do it and get the money back too!-Jordan Whaley
Women are my puppets.-Jordan Whaley
And if a woman claims she is not my puppet, she is not a woman yet.-Jordan Whaley
I don't know why, all I did was look at her funny.-Jordan Whaley
Your teacher calls you "tiger." No, I mean your barber, not your teacher.-Jordan Whaley
You're never going to get the guns out of the hands of criminals, so you'd better be armed to fight back!-Jordan Whaley
I know all things...I think.-Jordan Whaley
The future just ain't what it used to be.-Jordan Whaley
A nickel just isn't worth a dime anymore.-Jordan Whaley
