TOP20 FUN THINGS IF THE X-FILES
            DID AN EPISODE AT A SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION

#20) Mulder is asked to be a guest speaker for the Roswell UFO panel,
until they discover he IS a Government Agent...

#19) Poor Smoking Man loses the "Science Fiction Short Story
Contest"...again.

#18) Scully catches Mulder in his hotel room with a green Orion Slave
girl on top of him. ("I doubt if she's really green...")

#17) "Courageous" UFO Buff Blaine Faulkner wins Langly's big Dungeons &
Dragon Tournament.

#16) Mulder finds a replacement "I want to Believe" poster...then buys a
"Barbarella" poster instead.

#15) Scully gets drunk at the "Quantum Leap Room Party" and wakes up in
the hotel jacuzzi with a Canadian Art director named Clyde....

#14) Scully & Mulder trade in their trenchcoats for Elven Cloaks.   

#13) Skinner wins 3rd Place "Best Star Trek" in the Costume Contest as
"Captain Picard".

#12) Not able to sleep in his hotel bed, Mulder crashes on the video
room couch.

#11) Scully Wins 2nd Place "Best Star Trek" in the Costume Contest as
"Captain Janeway"  ("Clear the Bridge--NOW!").

#10) When flashing their FBI badges, Scully & Mulder are told "So? I
can go buy one of those in the Dealer's Room!"

#9) Gratuitous shots of "The Space: Above & Beyond" fan club table.

#8) Mulder buys a bunch of bootleg adult Japanese Animation tapes. 

#7) Scully arrests a bunch of bootleg Japanese animation tape dealers.

#6) Mulder gets an elbow in the ribs when he suggests to Scully that
she buys herself a leather & brass Xena costume.

#5) Mulder is tossed out for chasing all the "Vampire: The Masquerade"
roleplayers with stakes.

#4) Robotics expert Dr Ivanov wins 2nd Place Best Media Recreation in
the Costume Contest as "Dr Strangelove".

#3) Entomologist Dr Bambi wins 1st Place Best Media Recreation as "Dr
Zira" from "Planet of the Apes". (please, no "did she even have a costume?"
jokes)

#2) Even though she "helped" write it, Scully still has to stand in
line to get her copy of Jose Chung's "From Outer Space" signed.

And the #1 Fun Thing if the X-Files Did an Episode at a Science Fiction
Convention...

   Scully & Mulder discover Real Evidence of Aliens!! Namely Vulcans,
Klingons, Membari, Wookies, etc, etc...


Comments, critiques, Requests, & pleas to be left alone should be sent
to me personally. Please. I like mail. Good Mail. Bad Mail. Any Mail. Please?
   Permission to Forward this list to further victi...er, uh, readers,
zines, and archives has been authorized; just leave my moniker on it, so YOU
don't get sued by the fox Network...