"C'mon guy, we're going to be late!"
That's Winston shouting up from downstairs, but he's just bellyaching. I shout back a reply
"Alright geezer, don't get your knickers in a twist!"
I turn my attention back to the mirror. I've got to admit, I'm looking good, but there's still something missing. Maybe it's the hair.
"Ray! Get your black arse down here now or we're going to miss the train!"
He's right. I quickly brush a little gel into my hair then go downstairs. Winston is not impressed.
"Honestly guy, you're worse than my mum with your primping."
"You just don't understand style man. A look like this has to be encouraged, nutured, worked on. Know what I mean?"
"I still say you're worse than my mum."
"'Least I'm better looking."
Winston cuffs me for that remark but I can tell he's cool about it. The night air is chill as we get into Winston's car. Winston starts the car, turns on the radio and the sound of Shabba Ranks fills the small space, almost drowning Winston's words.
"So bro, you ready for this?"
"I was born ready man. This is going to be one wicked party!"
The party that we're going to is being held by Winston's uni mate, Dave. Apparently it's his twenty-first birthday, so he's celebrating it in style by 'borrowing' a warehouse and filling it with as many of his mates as he can. Since he and Winston got on well at uni, Winston managed to wrangle an invite for himself and a friend. The only drawback is that its in London which means me and Winston have to catch a train since there's no way Winston is risking leaving his wheels in London after dark.
Winston's earlier whining about missing the train almost comes true. Fortunately we manage to leg it into the station in time, neatly avoiding any ticket inspectors that might be lurking. As the train pulls out of the station, Winston produces a bottle of rum from his jacket pocket and offers it to me.
"How's about a little pick-me up. From the old country."
I grin at Winston's Jamaican accent.
"Don’t be a prick, Winston, you’ve never been further than Benidorm."
Winston throws his head back and laughs as I take a swig from the bottle. This is a tradition of ours that originates from one school trip when Winston decided to bring along something extra. As a result, we never go on a journey somewhere without anything to drink. Not only does it help pass the time but it puts us in a mood to party. By the time the train arrives at its destination we are nicely rat-arsed and ready for the night ahead.
When we get to the party I am amazed to see the size of the queue - I never knew Dave had so many friends! Fortunately the guy who’s working the door knows Winston and lets us in before the rest. Inside, the place is pumping. The warehouse floor is so packed with people that it looks like they look like a massive multi-limbed alien having a good time. I tell that to Winston who just sniggers and tells me I'm drunk. Before I can reply, Dave appears. He's got his arms around two beautiful women and is totally buzzing on one substance or another. The moment he sees Winston his face lights up.
"Winston! Maximum respect my friend, you made it!"
"Totally, Dave geezer, I wouldn't miss anything this kicking for anything. 'Specially not if it's run by my favourite uni bro."
Dave laughs at this, a high-pitched manic sort of giggle. He's definitely pretty wasted. Winston goes on.
"This is Ray," he says, pointing to me. "He's my best friend from back home."
"Pleased to meet you guy." Dave waves a hand in my direction. "You two make yourselves at home, I've got to keep the rest of my friends entertained." He grins at one of the girls who grins back. "There's plenty of beer going around plus a few other substances if that's your thing."
"Nah man, my body is a temple. Might check out the alcohol though."
"Well, whatever. The bar's just back there. Knock yourselves out." He points over his shoulder then grins again before turning away and vanishing into the crowd. Winston nudges me.
"C'mon guy, let's go cruise the bar."
The bar turns out to be four guys randomly dishing out bottles across a table from various crates that are scattered around them. I settle for a bottle of Budweiser whilst Winston leans back with a bottle of K and hopefully scans the area for women. His talent for spotting talent swiftly pays off.
"Geezer!" he hisses, nudging me. "See those two standing over there by the pillar? I think they could be just what we're looking for."
"Give it a rest Winston. We've only just got here."
"Well if you don't think you're man enough..."
"'Course I'm man enough! I'm just waiting for the right moment."
"Ain't no moment righter than this."
"Not for me it ain't."
He shrugs. "Fine. If you want to waste all that effort you put into getting ready, that's your business. Me, I'm striking whilst the iron is hot." And with that he's gone. I watch him as he saunters over to the two women and starts to chat them up. I remain where I am. One of my rules is never try to chat anyone up when Winston is around since he's just too bloody good at it and chances are you'll lose out to him. Instead I wander over to the gantry and look down at the dance floor.
"Strange isn't it? Like some creature from another world."
I look up to see who said this. Standing next to me is this beautiful black honey, real stylishly done up. Her short gold skirt and well-cut gold jacket look like they cost some serious money, no off-the-rack shit. She's not looking at me as she speaks but at the dance floor below, almost as if I wasn't here and she was like talking to a box or pillar.
"I'm always amazed at how much more beautiful mankind looks like from above." She turns her gaze towards me and I notice with a start that her eyes are hidden by these really cool mirrored shades she's wearing. "Don't you agree?"
I panic. I'm not used to beautiful women taking an interest in me, especially when Winston's around, so I babble. "Yeah, sure, great, whatever you say." She don't reply to this, just turns her gaze back to the floor and I think "Shit, I've blown it." But then she speaks again.
"Wanna dance?"
Just that. No reaction, no emotion, no interest. Almost like she's talking about the weather. I'm not sure how to respond, but I've got to say something.
"Cool." I reply nervously.
"Cool." With that she lazily turns around and starts to saunter off before turning back towards me. "Coming?" she asks.
"Yeah...yeah, on my way."
"Don't make no difference to me."
My head's buzzing as I follow her down the steps. By the time we reach the bottom all I can see are flashing lights and whirling bodies. One of the dancers flings themselves in my direction and I stumble as I get out of the way. Golden Girl must have noticed that since she flashes me a look.
"You ok?"
"Sure!" I bleat but the word is lost in the crowd. Her only reply is to fumble at something on her skirt. Before I know it, her hand is in front of my face, palm up. In it is the whitest pill I've ever seen, like an oasis of light in a sea of colour.
"Take this, it'll help."
"Nah man, my body is a temple."
She snorts. "Don't talk crap. You want to dance, this'll help."
I hesitate. She shrugs then downs the pill in one, like a pro.
"Your loss guy."
She turns and I know I'm gonna lose her.
"Wait!"
She does. I take a chance.
"You got any more where that came from?"
She turns and gives me a look, shades down. I dunno whether its the lighting or my nerves but her eyes are the darkest I've ever seen. Just black windows that feel like they're boring into my soul.
"You sure, big man?"
Her tone is dissing me, so I nod.
"Sure I'm sure."
Like before she fumbles at the object on her skirt before handing me what I want. It takes me several swallows to down the bloody thing. I never was very good with pills. Fortunately she doesn't seem to notice; she just takes my hand and leads me into the crowd.
As we move deeper in, I feel the temperature rise. All the twisting, gyrating dancers surround me so completely I begin to feel like the air itself is moving. The thumping music penetrates deep into my brain and the flashing lights grow more and more intense until I can't bear it any more and cut loose, my arms and legs spinning every which way they can, my whole body trying to become one with the masses around me. Golden Girl has become practically invisible in front of me; all I can see are flashes of her skirt and jacket as she melts back and forth with the crowd. It looks so wonderful that all I want to do is dance right back, dance until I become one with this whirling mob, dance and let the joys of life flow through me, become one with the joys of living, laughing, dancing and swaying.
The lights grow harsher. The thumping of the music becomes more visable than audible, like my heart, like a big fist thumping away in the middle of my skull. I scream at her that I want to stop, but for all I know I might have screamed that I never want to stop. I spin wildly, trying to find a centre but all around me are people, people, people, people...
Then there are arms around me.
"Easy, man, I've got you."
It's Winston! The fucker's dragging me away, pulling me out of the crowd, away from Golden Girl! The jealous fuck wants a go himself! I try to struggle but Winston's bigger than me. I feel myself getting dragged back, further and further from paradise, nothing left but my loss and the thumping in my head. Even that swiftly goes and all I'm left with is a void and a creeping numbness running throughout my veins.
Without warning I feel my head being tipped back and something being forced between my lips. The cold water gushes down my throat like a scream of primal rage, filling my every pore and bringing me unceremoniously back to reality. Gasping and coughing, I rock back and forth as my vision slowly clears. The first thing I see is Winston.
"Hey geezer," I croak. Winston isn't happy.
"You stupid fuck, you could have died out there! How you feeling, are you ok?"
I nod weakly. "Yeah bro, I'm fine. Chill out and take a pill."
"That isn't fucking funny Ray! You're lucky we spotted you collapse."
I try to protest but Winston isn't taking any shit.
"We're going home, right now!"
"Aww, c'mon Winston, you sound like my mum."
This is too much for Winston.
"Well that's what you fucking need!" he explodes. "Of course I sound like yer fucking mum, Ray, but that don't mean I want to! You stupid fucker! Because of you I'm gonna have to leave early cos you sure as shit aren't in any state to get back on your own, but that don't mean I want to! I'm going out of my way to help you bro because you're my best friend, even if you are a stupid fuck, so don't come to me with any of this complaining shit!"
I hang my head and Winston lightens up a bit. He puts a hand on my shoulder.
"C'mon Ray, let's blow this place."
The walk back to the station is nothing but a blur for me cos I'm still trying to get my head together. Thankfully Winston's supporting and guiding me at every step, otherwise I don't think I could make it. He dumps me on a seat on the abandoned platform whilst he gets our tickets. I glance quickly around but there's no one else on the platform this early so I return to looking at my feet.
"Hey."
I look up. It's Golden Girl, standing with a couple of mates.
"You know, you dance pretty well."
That's it. No "You ok?", no concern, no feelings, just a comment on my dancing. I try to raise my head and say something snide in return, but before I can, she leans forward and kisses me. Long, slow, soft, gentle. A brief taste of heaven. Then she breaks off and walks away, cool as anything. I stare after her.
"Ray! It's our train!"
Winston's voice helps me to snap out of it and I wander onto the train. As I sit down, I glance out of the window and there she is. Standing there, cool as anything. She lifts what looks like a cigarette to her lips and takes a deep toke but the smoke she exhales ain't no cigarette smoke. It's fine, white and heavy. She exhales it like a professional and watches it as it curls away in front of her. Then she takes another toke, holds it in, then exhales again. I watch enthralled at the cloud of smoke that forms in front of her, as she tokes, exhales, tokes exhales, as if it was the most important thing on the planet.
"Ray? What's up bro?"
I don't reply to Winston, just carry on watching Golden Girl. She looks so magnificent, standing there all in gold, smoking skunk on Kings Cross Thameslink station, oblivious to all but the smoke. As the train starts to pull out of the station, she turns and sees me. Calmly she takes off her shades and exhales a fine plume of smoke in my direction, and then she's out of sight. I turn back to Winston.
"You ok bro?" He still sounds worried. I smile.
"Yeah, I'm cool." But he doesn't look reassured.
"Look, that girl you were looking at. The one you were dancing with. She's trouble Ray. She was at uni with us but got kicked out for using and dealing. They say she's done all sorts of shit, fucked people up. She's poison bro, pure and simple."
I'm no longer listening. I dunno whether it's the E I took or something deeper but all I can see is Golden Girl, blowing smoke at me, looking into my soul with those eyes of hers. The image's so clear, it's almost like she's standing in front of me. And suddenly I know that I want to be where she is, more than anything else. I reach forward to grasp her and feel myself falling.
"Ray? Ray! Jesus!! RAY!"
As I fall I hear Winston's voice getting further and further away, but I don't care. I know I'm safe. Things begin to darken in front of me, but not her. She stands there, golden as ever, looking at me as if she don't care whether I live or die. Then even she starts to fade, but it don't matter. Right now I dunno whether I'm OD'ing or what, but I know I'm safe. Safe to fade, fade to black, thinking of nothing but her and her eyes, fade into those eyes so black.
My eyes close.
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