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Cpt. Janeway's Lovelife From an interview with all 4 Captains	Lt. Shakaar (CSEC/CTO)	When one fan asked Kate Mulgrew when Janeway would finally have a serious relationship, the actress said that as Captain, Janeway was fully focused on getting the ship home from the Delta Quadrant and didn't have time for romance. Patrick Stewart brought down the house - "Too busy? I don't think I've heard that before as a reason for not getting laid." Stewart then posed an intriguing (if somewhat ribald) follow-up question to Mulgrew. "Does your ship have a holodeck?" (The "reality" with which he asked this question was actually quite amusing.) When Mulgrew said yes, Stewart proposed a Trekker's dream: "Well, why not re-create three of Starfleet's greatest captains." Avery Brooks fell from his seat laughing, and William Shatner immediately jumped in, yelling "Me first! Me first!"
Ode To Spot Data, TNG 131 - Schisms	Cpt. Ikura T'Kal (CO)	Felis Cattus is your taxonomic nomenclature, an endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature. Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses. I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations, a singular development of cat communications that obviates your basic hedonistic predilection for a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection. A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents. You would not be so agile, if you lacked its counterbalance. And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion, it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion. O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display, connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array. And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend, I nontheless consider you a true and valued friend.
DON'T CRY FOR US ALPHA QUADRANT	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	This next one can be sung any time, it doesn't have a specific setting. DON'T CRY FOR US ALPHA QUADRANT "It's very easy, don't think it strange When the warp core fails again. And the shields are still down Despite all Torres does, You won't believe it. All you will see is a ship you once knew Though it's all bashed up and in bits, Making its way home to Earth." "Don't cry for us Alpha Quadrant, The truth is, we'd love to join you. All through the Delta, Our thoughts are with you You're in our dreams Oh how we miss you."
CONTRARY	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	Janeway, Janeway, quite contrary, How does your hairstyle hold? With lots of grips and fingertips Not forgetting the jelly mold! Janeway, Janeway, quite contrary, How does you starship go? Helter-skelter through the Delta With shuttles lined up in a row! Janeway, Janeway, quite contrary, How does your crew live? You've stranded them, you mother hen For the sake of The Prime Directive! Janeway, Janeway, quite contrary, Do you still miss Mark? Oh! What you say? Chakotay? Is taking you for a walk in the Park!
FROM A DISTANCE	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	FROM A DISTANCE From a distance they look calm and nice, And the ships so efficient. From a distance you don't pay a price For going where you're sent. From a distance there is harmony, And it echoes through the Mind. It's the hope of hopes, It's the love of loves It's the 'heart' of all of them. From a distance it's a great system And no-one is in need. There is no want, no need and no hunger No individuality. For a moment we must be a hive Mind Thinking as one, Thinking songs of calm, Thinking songs as one, They're the songs of all this group. Queen is watching us, Queen is watching us, Queen is controlling us, From her alcove. From a distance, you look like my friend, Even though I don't recognise you. Because of this I now comprehend Why I am on this Cube. Sing out songs of hope, Sings out songs of power, Sing out songs of collective Sing as one, Sing out 'Borg!'
You'll never fly alone	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	You'll never fly alone (This is a version of 'you'll never walk alone', also known as one of the English football teams' theme songs…) When you fly through nebulae Keep your warp speed high And don't be afraid of the Borg. At the end of the Quad is a golden sight And the sweet silver light of Earth's moon. Fly on through the Quad, Fly on through deep space Though your ship be tossed and blown. Fly on, fly on, with hope in your heart, and you'll never fly alone. You'll never fly alone…
JANEWAY'S "My Heart will Go On."	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	JANEWAY'S "My Heart will Go On." Again, this is set in YoH part I, and is part of a set of VGR/Titanic crossovers with Janeway and Jackotay, but after Chakotay has been taken by the Krenim etc. "Every night after coffee I see Chakotay, That I how I know he goes on. Far across the distance from here to the Alpha Tuvok must be my XO. Near, far, wherever we are I believe that the heart does go in. Once more, the door opens And my reverie is shattered There's a crewman in my quarters. Love can touch us one time, or sometimes three times And never let go 'til next time. Love was when I loved y'all Three true times I hold to While I'm alive y'all always go on. Near, far, wherever we are I believe that the heart does go in. Once more, the door opens And my reverie is shattered There's a crewman in my quarters. Oh, my, Chakotay's high 'Bove my bed, my heart will go on. We'll stay forever this way, You're alone in my heart and my heart will go on and on.
Lost the Voyager	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	Lost the Voyager (this is a version 'Lost that lovin' feeling', and is a Janeway/Q duet) You never drink coffee anymore when it's later, There's no energy like before in the replicator. You're trying hard not to show it, but Kathryn, Kathryn, You've lost the Voyager Wo-ho-ho-ho The Voyager. You've lost the Voyager now it's gone Gone Gone. Wo-ho-ho-oh-ho-ho. You had a ship, a ship you don't find everyday… I'd get down on my knees for Q If he'd just help me like he said he'd do.
The Prime Dictator	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	The Prime Dictator (This isn't based on anything, except Future End provided the idea of VGR returnign to the C20th) If Voyager came back to our time For the Alpha they'd no longer pine. They could sort out all our probs Including those Internet slobs. Paris could teach the RAF The difference between right and left. Telling them all the Maquis tricks, Getting them out of every fix. Kim, the baby, could show Bill Gates, The way to make Pentium VIII's. He'd revolutionise the computer trade And computer the voice would obey. Torres could destroy all NASA's rubber bands And show them how to leave the lands In a ship bound for the stars, And give us transporters instead of cars. Janeway could give us replicators And become the Prime Dictator Always following the Prime Directive Her 'compassion' being selective. Chakotay could give us all spirit guides The crash-test NASA's shuttle sides. If they stand up to Chakotay's flight They'll survive anything, even Russia's might! Kes the elf with her dainty ears Can allay the most nervous patients fears. Calming them with mind alone To allow the Doctor to set the bone. Oops! Wrong century! The EMH Won't nees plaster to mend a break. He just uses a metal thing To heal all, wound or sting. Neelix the hedgehog will feed us all The, poisoned, to the floor we'll fall. He'd added yet more leola root And for favour, some cyanide to boot! The Vulcan tuvok could reform the world Taking no nonsense form Italian or Kurd. If he met Saddam Hussien, Pity that logical Vulcan brain! Seven would have no idea Of the difference between 'Spar' and 'Ikea'. She's be snowed under by fan-mail And still not know how to squash a snail. Seska the tart would have to meet The prostitutes down Union Street She'd have found her niche in life Away from the Maquis/Starfleet strife. The crew would be forbidden to further intervene By Kathryn Tiberius Janeway the Queen. By stopping all future war She'd screw up history, that's for sure!
Romeo & Juliet?	Lt.(jg) D'Eja Baccoy (AMO)	Voyager provides so many oppertunities for cross-overs, that I could not resist this one. Its based around the opening sonnet for Romeo and Juliet, which begins, "two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene...." etc. Its funnier if you have a copy of the oriniginal in front of you, but if you don't, just conecntrate on the cross-over Voygar links! Picture this: Its the very first episode, Caretaker, and Voyager is chasing a Maquis ship into the Badlands, when all of a sudden..... "Two starships, both alike in dignity, In fair Delta, where we lay our scene, From Maquis grudge break forth Starfleet integrity, From Caretaker's hands, the Vulcan blood runs green, From through the fatal Badlands and these two foes, A pair of star-lost officers, begin their life, Who's new adventures, pityless episodes Doth with their loss create much strife, The fearful passage of the Borg-marked territory, And the Continuum and Kazon rage, Naught could remove is now the Seventy years traffic, and The Phage, To which if you with pointy ears attend, What, we're alone..... And there's coffee round that bend!"
THINK TWICE	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	THINK TWICE (This WAS 'Think Twice' by Celine Dion, her 1st single, released 4 years ago) Don't think she can't feel if there's something wrong, We've been the responsibility of her life for so long. Tuvok look is her eyes, there's a familiar light, But he and she know, they won't get home tonight. Kathryn, this is serious. Are you thinking about th'Ocampa , or us? Don't say what you're about to say, Look back before you leave the Alpha Quadrant. Be sure before you close that door, Before you fire that device. Janeway, think twice. Janeway think twice, for the sake of the crew, and for the Maquis, For they have loved ones at like you and me. Kath, it don't get any easier as climb the ranks But when we get home Starfleet Will give us their thanks. Kathryn, this is serious (It's the right thing to do!) Are you thinking of the Kazon, or your crew? Don't say what you're about to say, Look back before you leave the Alpha Quadrant. Be sure before you close that door, Before you close that door, Before you fire that device Janeway think twi… Kathryn, this is serious (I'm going to do it) Are you thinking about you, or the Prime Directive? Ka-a-th Don't say what you're about to say, No, No, No, NO! Look back before join the Delta Quadrant. (Oh leave me alone!) Be sure before you close that door, Before you fire that device, Janeway, think twice. Don't do what you're about to do, Not everything depends on you, (I've thought of the crew But whatever it takes I'll sacrifice Tuvok fire that device!)
TRUST IN ME	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	TRUST IN ME (This is sung by Seska at any time (before she dies!) and is based on 'trust in Me' from 'the Jungle )Book' Trust in me, Chakotay, Shut your mind, And trust in me. You can rest safe and sound, Knowing I am around. Slip into my warm embrace, Sail in between the stars, Slowly and surely, you will believe in me, Just relax, be at rest, Like a bird in a nest. Close your eyes against my looks, I'm a Bajoran true. I am not after The Maquis secrets, only you. Trust in me, Chakotay. I love you, Chakotay.
WORDS	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	WORDS (This is 'Words' by Boyzone/some older pop group which Boyzone nicked it off) 'Smile', said Paris to B'Elanna PARIS 'Cos that would make you look pretty, Don't ever let me see you frown' TORRES'Tom, stop trying to be witty, You've lost a lot of your conceit, And Tom, you've learned to wash your feet.' PARIS 'Oh! Thanks You think that I don't even mean A single word or say… It's only words And those and my good looks Will take your heart away!' TORRES'You can talk in everlasting words Until you're blue in the face. But that doesn't mean that I Will believe that you have changed enough.' PARIS 'You think that I don't even mean A single word I say… It's only words And those and my good looks Will take your heart away! It's only words And those and my good looks Will take your heart away!' TORRES'Tom, I like your sense of humour But not your attitude to me, you see You think that I'm a Klingon slut Another notch on your bed-p-o-o-ost' PARIS 'Oh no, I don't think that all, I think you still like me more Than you'll admit Torres, I mean every word I say Talking to you. It's only words And those and my good looks Will take your heart away! It's only words And those and my good looks Will take your heart away! It's only words And those and my good looks Will take your heart away!'
Wormhole	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	Wormhole (and this is a version of 'Torn' by Natalie Imbruglia...) I thought a saw a wormhole on the screeen. It was large and swirled around, making us all hope. Well id couldn't be the Gamma hole It cannot be, it cannot be That would be too good. Well we're far from the Alpha now There's nothing on screen where Barzan was. Our plasma supply has run dry, That's what's going wrong Nothing's fine, we're lost Crews all out of faith, this is how we feel We're sad and we're alone, Flying slowly through the Quad. Viewscreen never gave us something real If Ensign Kim played that joke, I'll demote him to C'det. That's a little late, the jokes already won.
SILENT NIGHT	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	SILENT NIGHT Silent night, holy night Voy'ger sleeps 'til first light. It flies on at Warp Factor 9, All it's crew for home do pine, Fly away home, Fly away home:
I'M DREAMING OF THE ALPHA QUADRANT	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	ALPHA QUADRANT (this was 'White Christmas' by Bing Cosby) I'm dreaming of the Alpha Quad, Just like everyone on board. Except for Kes th'Ocampan And Neelix the fat'un Who belong in the Delta Quad. I'm dreaming of the Aphla Quad With every Bridge shift I work May the years pass quickly and for'ward As we travel to the Alpha Quad.
X-F/VGR Crossover	Lt. Qe'Hleyr Winn (AENG)	Download the script!

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