Author's Corner: Hi everyone! I hope you enjoy the first installment of Sailor Moon: The Rejected Episodes. This is my first Sailor Moon fanfic, which I wrote during my AP Biology class because I didn't feel like taking notes. This takes place sometime after the Sailor Moon R season, but we're just going to figure that Chibi-Usa came back for a visit. Besides I don't belive in using continuity when a simple spoof will work just as well and with half the trouble. Warning: This fanfic is rated S because some parts, and really the entire fanfic, tends toward excessive sillyness. Standard disclaimers apply- I didn't create anything but the bad guys. Sailor Moon: The Rejected Episodes A continuing fanfic by Kristin Renee Taylor Episode 1: "The Pilot Episode" [Setting: A busy street in Tokyo. Two girls, one tall with brown hair (Makoto) and the other short with blue hair (Ami) stop and stare up at a tall business building. In big bold letters is the company's name: FALCORP.] Ami(puzzled): Hey Mako-chan, wasn't this a vacant lot just an hour ago? Makoto: Naw, it's always been here. Ami: That's strange. I could have sworn that it wasn't here earlier. Makoto: That's just because you don't live in this area. Ami: But it wasn't here when we came by earlier. How can a building just appear out of nowhere in an hour? Makoto(frustrated): Give it up, Ami-chan. Stop being so analytical. Ami(looking at Makoto): Do you even know what 'analytical' means? Makoto(grins): No...but it sounded good, didn't it? Ami(sighs): Let's just get to the shrine. [Switch to interior of a very plush, very big, very dark office. The only light comes from the large picture windows, through which we can see Ami and Makoto as they turn away from the base of the building. A young black woman in her mid-twenties is standing at the window, studying the scene below. She has long brown hair and grey eyes and is wearing a business suit. She is clearly amused, but her eyes remain cold.] Woman(to someone we can't see): Tell I.S. to get started. [A shadowy figure bows.] Figure(female): Yes, Ms. Hawks. [The shadowy figure moves away. We hear a door open and close. The woman smiles malicously and her eyes began to glow with a inhuman red light.] Woman(whispered): Enjoy your peace, little humans. It won't last long! [Tilts head back and starts to laugh evilly as the shot fades out.] [**************OPENING CREDITS**************] [Back so soon? I thought for sure that those credits were longer....] BACK TO THE STORY.... [Setting: The Hikawa Jinja: Rei's room. Ami and Makoto, along with a blonde (Minako) are sitting at one side of the table while a certain raven-haired priestess is pacing back and forth like a caged tiger and looking thoroughly pissed off (Rei). She is ranting about another certain someone that appears to be absent (Usagi).] Rei(growling): I bet that meatball-brained fruitcake is busy stuffing her face again. (loud) I'm going to rip her head off! [The others wince at her tone of voice.] Makoto: Give her some slack, Rei-chan. She's not that late. Minako: Yeah, the meeting only started half an hour ago. [Rei shoots Minako a withering glare. She stops pacing and plants both of her hands on the table. She leans over and stares Minako in the eyes. The others watch her warily.] Rei(hissing): That just means she's been missing for a half an hour. A whole half an hour! (Straightens, but voices rises to a shout) She has been late every day this week and I'm sick of her lame excuses! She better have an *extremely* good reason for being late today or else I'll turn her into a meatloaf!!! [The door to Rei's room slides open. Rei turns, ready to tear Usagi apart-- --And stops when she recognizes the pink-haired girl (Chibi-Usa) and the black lunar cat with her (Luna). They are both out of breath.] Luna(panting): Usagi-chan's...in the...hospital! [Everyone is instantly on their feet.] All(alarmed): WHAT?! Chibi-Usa: Yeah, when she got back from school, she kept complaining about a stomach ache. Sohu took her to the hospital. Then the doctor said that he had to take out her apple..apex..her 'ap' something. Ami: Appendix? Chibi-Usa: That thing. [Rei sighs in relief and sits down.] Rei: What a relief. For a moment I thought it was something serious. [Everone gives her a mean and nasty look. Rei blinks, confused.] Rei: What? What'd I say? Luna(ignoring Rei): There was one other thing, but I can't quite remember... Oh yes. There's a youma, or something resembling a youma, attacking people at the park. You might want to do something about it. [The others look at each other and shrug.] Makoto: Might as well. Minako: I've got nothing better to do. Rei: I'm game. Ami: I could use a break from studying. (notices that the other three are staring at her oddly) Did I say something wrong? Others: Nothing. [They leave with Chibi-Usa and Luna. Five minutes later... A white lunar cat (Artemis) skids to a stop outside the still open door.] Artemis: Minna! There's a youma--(notices empty room) Oh shoot. [Setting: The park. People are scattered everywhere in a various states of unconcousness. There is a large, green, buff monster with red hair, horns, and a loincloth zapping people with a bizzare looking ray-gun. Near him is a man, somewhere in his mid-twenties, dressed in black pants, a black silk shirt partially open, and a black cape. (Think Zorro but without the hat and mask.) A sword is belted at his waist.] Monster(to man): That is the last one, master. Man: Good. Very good. Start piling them up so we can transport them back to base. Monster(bows): Yes, master. [The monster approaches the first individual. As it leans down to get her, a beam of yellow light laced with fire strikes it in the chest. It is blown backwards and skids along the ground, coming to a halt at the man's feet. He looks at it, blinks, then turns to face the only other people still standing. The Sailor Senshi are lined up several yards away. Mars and Venus are poised for another attack. The man grips his sword hilt.] Man: Who are you? [The Senshi began their various gestures, with Mars leading.] Mars: People come to the park to enjoy themselves, not to get blasted by some filthy youma! As the Sailor Senshi, it is our duty to make you pay for your crimes. So, in the names of Mars-- Mercury: --Mercury-- Venus: --Venus-- Jupiter: --and Jupiter-- All: --we will punish you! [They finish their gestures. After a few minutes, they realize that the man hasn't moved. In fact, it seems as if he's gawking at them. Finally he stirs and whips out a video camera from Parts Undisclosed(tm).] Man: Can you do that again? I want to get that on tape. [The Senshi facefault. Jupiter recovers first.] Jupiter: You hentai! Who do you think you are? [The video camera vanishes. The man grins and snaps his fingers. Everything goes black.] Man: Lights! [A spotlight cuts on, beaming down on him in such a way that in seems to enhance his extremly handsome and well-built body. A gentle breeze appears out of nowhere, tousling his hair and causing his cape to billow out behind him. Romantic music starts playing softly in the background.] Man(deep, seductive voice): I am the envy of every man. I am the fantasy of every woman. I am (music swells) THE ITALIAN STALLION!!! (He smiles disarmingly.) [A throng of girls appear out of nowhere and start to fawn and drool over him. He winks at one, smiles at another, and gives a rose to a third. Jupiter and Venus have hearts in their eyes.] Venus(dreamy): Oh man, what a hunk! Jupiter(dreamy): I would say he looks like my sempai, but my sempai never looked _that_ good! Mars(whaps them on the head): Will you two snap out of it? He's the bad guy! Jupiter(sighs wistfully): Unfortunetly. [The Italian Stallion strikes a pose.] Stallion: That's right, girls. Who do you love? [The throng of girls sigh in complete and total adoration. Hearts are in all of their eyes. This scene freezes for several seconds. Abrubtly everything returns to normal. The girls vanish and the sun comes back. Silence reigns for approximetly two minutes.] Stallion(to monster): Don't just sit there! Kill them! [The monster roars and charges the Senshi. There is a furious battle, which ends when the Senshi all combine their powers to blast it into atomic dust. With the destruction of the monster, the unconcious people have started to recover. The Senshi advance threatingly on the Italian Stallion.] Venus: That's it, Stallion! Your plan is ruined. Stallion(smug): Hardly. (draws sword) Prepare to face the wrath of the Italian Stallion! (points sword at them, shouts) BLACK STALLION CHARGE! [A large black horse charges the Senshi from behind, knocking them over in the process. It stops in front of the Italian Stallion. In one smooth gesture, he sheaths his sword and swings into the horse's saddle. He guides the horse over to the still dazed Venus and Jupiter and tosses each Senshi a single white rose.] Stallion(deep, seductive voice): Until we meet again, my beautiful angels. [The horse turns and races off, swiftly vanishing. The Senshi pick themselves up and stare after him. Venus and Jupiter are holding the roses and smiling dreamily.] Venus(dreamy, to Jupiter): He's mine. Jupiter(dreamy, to Venus): You wish. Mars(staring at the love-struck duo with evident disgust): If you ask me, he's nothing more than an over-egotistical evil version of Tuxedo Kamen. Jupiter/Venus(simultaneously, dreamy): That's why we didn't ask you, Mars. Mercury: Hey, doesn't anybody want to go check up on Usagi-chan? Venus: Nah, she'll proabably show up in the next episode. [The other three stare at her, confused.] Mars: What on earth are you talking about, Sailor Venus? Mercury: Next episode? Jupiter: Huh? [Venus blinks, and blushes.] Venus: Uh, nothing! Nothing at all. Just me rambling again. After all you know what they say: 'A bird in the hand makes it difficult to blow your nose.' [Sighs and sweatdrops all around. The others walk away, leaving Venus to catch up. Venus and Jupiter start arguing about who better deserves the Italian Stallion. Fade out.] ******THE END (for now!)****** Criticisms? Comments? Ideas? Send them to me at gelles@yahoo.com (Flames will be read, stomped on, and used for kindling.) This has been a production of Blueberry Enterprises.