This was a pretty good but DEPRESSING episode!!
Despite what Sheridan said, this episode IS about revenge.
On the Centauri. Against MY favourite race! DAMN YOU
STRACZYNSKI! I have alMOST gotten used to the idea of my
favourite CHARACTERS biting the dust right and left, but
did you have to go and wipe out my entire favourite RACE?!
Sheesh! Isn't that a bit of overkill?
Oh, sure, not all the Centauri are wiped out, but their
CULTURE, the main part of them that makes me LIKE them, is
wiped out. Those gorgeous buildings--some of which are
THOUSANDS of years old, like for example the Royal Palace
is at least 2,000 years old, the opulence, the decadence,
the fancyness, the colour, luxury, decoration, exotic
shapes and carvings, velvet, paintings, gold filigree,
etc.--all gone.
To me, I don't CARE what a race LOOKS like. I like them or
not for their culture! Now, I could care less whether the
Centauri look like Humans with peacock-hair and fangs (and
other things) or long-legged beasties with bug eyes that go
bump in the night, WHATEVER, I don't CARE. The important
thing is how they ACT. And when I saw those Narn and Drazi
ships opening fire--my hearts just sank right into my
toes.
And now, a totally off-topic word to all you Narn
sympathisers out there, just in case you read this and are
thinking about sending me a "Ha, ha, we kicked your butts!"
letter to gloat at me:
1. "You" did NOT kick "our" butts; there WERE no butts to
kick! The Regent sent all the ships away and also turned
off the defense grid, so Centauri Prime was totally
helpless! In a FAIR fight it would have been very
different, bucko.
2. In the immortal words of Laurel Takashima: STUFF IT.
I was literally WEEPING by the end of this episode, and no,
I'm not afraid to admit that. So unless you are the kind
of cruel sicko who likes to poke fun at people when they
are SAD, then leave me alone! (Actually, Laurel might have
said "stick it" not "stuff it" but I like "stuff"
better...)
Onto the actual plot. This was a fairly decent episode in
its own right, and it would have been great, if not for the
fact that the situation going on here had been set up by
tremendously HORRIBLE writing in the previous episode! In
fact, I sincerely doubt I will give any episode of Season
Five a standing ovation from here on in. It's not just
that I resent the fact that my pet race is getting their
planet blown up, although of course it is that too, it's
that I am MAD that the REASON it's happening didn't have to
happen! It's happening "just because" and if I ever see
Straczynski on the street, I will give him a major piece of
my mind...
There are several different things happening here but they
all tie back into the main plotline, as things should be
doing by the end of Season Five! On the one hand, Sheridan
and Delenn are working out an agreement with the very
astute President Luchenko to make a new, destroyer class of
White Star ships (I believe the "Excalibur" from
Crusade will be one of these, yes?) and Delenn goes
off to Minbar to ask the Grey Council about it personally,
because it has to be kept secret at first. She says okay,
and on the way there, she is attacked in hyperspace by
several Centauri warships and her ship is crippled--as is
Ranger Lennier, who now has a broken leg. Most of the
other crewmembers are dead now, too. Is it just me, or did
anyone else get some VERY strong flashbacks of Marcus and
Ivanova from the end of Season Four here? And if I'm
right...the guy who has the unrequited love for the woman
who's life he's trying to save after the White Star battle
will die in the process of saving her...oh, geez...br>
Every single time I heard Sheridan say "The Centauri War"
my skin crawled! There shouldn't BE a "Centauri War" if
you guys would use your BRAINS! For that, we have to turn
to Dr. Stephen Franklin, a character I have always liked
unlike most fans, through thick and thin, and easily one of
the smartest people there, and Lyta Alexander.
Back on the station, things are going bad. For the
Centauri, I mean, naturally. (You'll find that I
completely drop all pretense of being neutral and
open-minded here in these reviews and just go all out
nationalist--hey, my HOMEWORLD is being destroyed!) It
seems that the Centauri on Babylon 5 are being KILLED by
the other station residents out of revenge! (There's that
word again.) Some of them are even just kids! Totally
innocent civillians! I don't know about you, but this just
made me snivel. (Not to mention, my character Lufa Caldoni
is going to be in major trouble--as I have it figured out
in my story, he's posted on B5 in Season Five, AND he's the
last living relative of the Regent, who is--through no
fault of his own--extremely unpopular with EVERYONE right
now! So his life is in TERRIBLE danger! Oh, dear...)
Anyway, Vir is pacing about his new, nasty, cramped, boring
quarters, nervous as all Hells with a good reason, when
Franklin and Lyta come by. Why? "Certainly not for the
decor!" No, seriously, they come by because Vir asked them
to. See, the Drazi have been attacking Centauri ships and
killing lots of them, but they haven't been returning the
bodies for proper burial. This is one of the main rules of
the Alliance they're breaking here! So Vir begs Franklin
and Lyta to go to the Drazi Homeworld and see if they can't
find out what's happening to the missing Centauri bodies.
For all he knows, the Centauri on the defeated ships could
still be alive, and maybe the Drazi are torturing them or
something! So why Franklin? Because he, being a good
doctor, would be able to tell by looking at the bodies
whether they have been killed in a space battle or by
something else...Franklin eventually agrees to go, but the
increasingly cold, snippy, and SCARY Lyta frostily tells
Vir that she will NOT go along with Franklin automatically,
that she will CONSENT to work with him on this but only if
Vir pays her 500,000 credits. YIKES! It's for the "Help
the Telepaths" fund, basically. Vir reluctantly agrees and
they leave on their mission.
(Side-note: I know Lyta is tired of being kicked around,
but the new Lyta is turning NASTY. We see her edging even
further towards the darkness in this episode--especially
while on the Drazi Homeworld. Now, I know she has a point,
but I would have liked it if the others just started being
nice to her, rather than that she has to turn into this
bigoted Mundane-hating villian...I mean, she's not even a
FUN villain, she's just a JERK!)
Meanwhile, Sheridan and Lochley (whom we haven't seen for
quite a long time; hi Lochley! (Keela waves.)) are
discussing the Centauri strategy with the Brakiri, Drazi,
and Narn generals. (The Narn guy was a rather classy,
elegant Narn even if I DO hate his guts, played well by
Robin Sachs, who has been on the show before but I forget
as what. Maybe another Narn...?) It seems that the
Centauri are fighting TWO wars--one defensive, to protect
Centauri Prime, and the other offensive, and that the two
teams don't really have much to do with each other. But
WHY are they doing this? What is the long-term goal, other
than "honking off their neighbors"? One of the generals
makes the motion that maybe they should go attack Centauri
Prime to shut them down. (At this point, even though I
KNEW it was coming, I went, "NOOOO!!!!!" at the T.V.
screen.) Sheridan says NO, absolutely not, we want to keep
this as clean a fight as possible. This is NOT about
revenge!
Oh, but it is...but it's NOT the Centauri getting revenge
against everyone else, it's someone ELSE getting revenge
against the Centauri! However, nobody figures that out
until it's way too late--ARGH! I guess this was supposed
to be dramatic irony, and I guess that some people might
have actually cheered when they saw the Centauri being
"bombed back to the stone age", but I just hung my head and
wept...pass me a Kleenex, would you...?
After the meeting, the Drazi and Narn generals meet in
private to make their own plans--they will each take parts
of their forces and go attack Centauri Prime behind
Sheridan's back. I SO hoped that the elegant-looking Narn
general would be one of the CLASSY, educated Narns and say
NO, but of course he said yes, it was inevitable.
Sigh...
Cut to Centauri Prime. Every single time they showed that
beautiful, peaceful scene of the outside of the Royal
Palace, with the sunny sky, and the pool, and the people
walking calmy by, I always wondered, "Is this going to be
the very last time I ever see this scene?" and my eyes
would water up...but enough about that. Londo and G'Kar
are still in prison, discussing how Londo can get out
without saving face, and also how he can "take out" the
Regent. (NO!! The poor little guy has enough problems
already and he's going to die in a day or two as it is,
don't PICK on him! Sniff!) They then go to sleep as it is
night and Londo has a most disturbing dream. Or is
that..."dream"? As in, "Oh! It was just a dream! That's
all! Just a dream..." SHUDDER! Anyway, in Londo's "dream"
(?) he sees himself being operated on by these freaky
aliens with very long fingers, and one who looks different
who says "yes...he will do nicely..." and wakes up,
startled, rolling violently off his bench.
After admonishing him about his snoring and making some
snooty comment about Londo's popularity, G'Kar gets Londo
to be released from the cell alone, without G'Kar, without
loosing face--by using a very very GROSS method. Now,
maybe this was supposed to be FUNNY but toilet-humour has
NEVER been my thing! I almost threw up--not just from the
grossness, but from the writing. Is it just me, or has
Straczynski's mind flown south for the winter lately?
First we've got a war happening "just because", then we've
got toilet jokes in place of the REAL Babylon 5
humour--which USED to be actually FUNNY--that we're used
to!
Anyway, Londo meets with Minister Cholini (formerly known
as "that SNOOTY Minister"; he has a name now...) and his
assistants to discuss how the offensive war the Centauri
are waging is a bad idea. Cholini snootily tells him that
as far as he knows, their ships are only being used for
defensive purposes and "anything else is propaganda". Now,
this scene sorta left me wondering...does he actually know
about it and he's just lying, or is he sincerely out of the
loop...?
Then finally Londo has a short audience with the Regent,
and in both of his two scenes, (his last? sniff!) the
Regent is always sitting in one beam of sunlight that's
coming into the darkened rooms. Just dramatic
cinematography, or a link back to his line where he told
Londo to "run in the sunlight" when he still could? At any
rate, Londo begs him to stop his war, but the Regent tells
him that he has no choice, and that he gave the orders,
yes, "after a fashion"--but naturally is not allowed to say
any more than that. But the real personality is still
there, despite the Keeper--still fighting--he tells Londo
that he has always TRIED to do the right thing, and that he
would never deliberately hurt anyone who was kind to him,
as Londo was. Oh, geez.. But this conversation doesn't
TELL Londo anything, so he goes away totally confused.
Meanwhile, G'Kar is still in his cell, writing some more,
and like I said yesterday, it looks like somebody is going
to have their life SAVED, ironically, because he was in the
DUNGEON, being punished! I hate it when my Seeress powers
make a nuisance of themselves...
Back on the Drazi homeworld, Franklin and Lyta FINALLY find
their hotel (the same one Garibaldi was at) after several
hours of wandering the streets totally lost--Franklin,
being a typical MALE, refuses to ask directions! They then
meet with a Drazi doctor, who at first seems like a very
nice guy until Lyta finds out that he is lying (Franklin
does NOT tell anyone that she's a telepath.
Sneak-eeeyyy....) and then these two other Drazi thugs
rappel in from the balcony above them and start attacking!
Franklin manages to shoot one but Lyta uses her mind powers
to make the other guy SHOOT HIMSELF.
YIKES. This girl is turning MEAN...
So then they take the doctor and force him to take them to
where the bodies are being held, but when they get there
they discover that there AREN'T any bodies, just these
weird black pod things, and when Lyta moves her hand over
one of them she hears a very familiar sound... the scream a Shadow vessel makes when it goes
overhead.
WHOAH boy.
They are then shot at and have to leave, but Lyta grabs a
pod thing for further study before they escape.
They call Sheridan and tell them what they have found out,
later. It seems that the offensive Centauri ships, the
ones behind the attacks, have NO people on board them at
all--just these devices, which were left behind by the
Shadows on Za'Ha'Dum, and which can fly a ship without any
crew at all. So either the other races that escaped from
Za'Ha'Dum sold these things to the Centauri for some
reason, or...
and Lyta, LYTA, of all people, is the one to FINALLY FIGURE
IT OUT!--someone ELSE is using these devices to SET UP
the Centauri!
Sheridan FINALLY realises that that's what's really going
on--someone is making the Alliance turn against the
Centauri for some reason! Then he notices about the fact
that some of the Drazi and Narn ships are missing. That
would make sense--the Drazi have been competing with the
Centauri over shipping rights and stuff for some time now,
they do not like them at all. (If you ask me, whatever
TINY shred of respect or even tolerance I might have once
had for the Drazi went STRAIGHT out the airlock with this
episode. You mess with MY PEOPLE, you PAY for it!) So then
he tells the fleet to turn around and try to catch the
Drazi and Narn ships and stop them. But it's too
late...
Back on Centauri Prime--seeing the beautiful Palace and all
that for the LAST TIME--sniff! (pass me that whole box of
Kleenex, will you?) we have a scary and heart-rending scene
in which the Regent tells Londo to come look out the
window, it's going to be a lovely night "the LAST night I
will ever see." (Oh, GODS...sniff!) (The way he's
talking, about how he's so exactly sure of when he's going
to die, down to the minute almost, makes me wonder--is he
being affected this way by the Keeper itself, alone, and he
dies much faster than Londo will (SNIFF!) because he is
more fragile, or is it something else? Maybe the Drakh
needed a weaker interim ruler while they were getting
everything set up, and they knew it would take x amount of
time from the beginning, so they were steadily putting
toxins into the interim ruler's system or something so that
he'd die once the REAL revenge started, just in time for
them to put their REAL ruler in place? The way the Regent
is talking also seems to suggest that he will be executed
at a specific hour, once the Drakh no longer have use of
him, and he knows when. SHUDDER!) Londo tells him not to
be silly, he still has many years left. (And he SHOULD, by
all rights...) The Regent tells him that he should not be
wasting his last free hours, he should go enjoy himself.
They know. They told him. They said that he (the Regent)
would not be alive by morning. (Oh, GEEZ...) and that,
furthermore, Londo would be EMPEROR by TOMORROW!
Whoah!
"They made me do one last thing for them, and I did it," he
says, sadly looking out the window, standing in the
sunlight while he still can. "It's a relief, in a way,
knowing that it will all end soon. I'm glad that I won't
be alive to see what happens afterwards."
"What?" demands Londo, who is not sure if this guy is just
NUTS or not but is definitely getting frightened, "What
did they ask you to do?"
"I ordered all our ships away on a false emergency
mission," he says with a sad half-smile, "and I had our
defense grid deactivated."
So in other words, not only is EVERYONE now mad at the
Centauri FOR SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T DO, but now they are
also completely defenseless!
"I'm going to stay and watch it from here, I think..."
murmurs the Regent. "The sky should be lighting up right
about now, it should be very beautiful..."
"NOOOO!!!!" yells Londo, "Great Maker, NO!!!" And he
helplessly runs (in slow-motion, which in this case adds
definite symbolic tension to the scene) out the door of the
palace JUST in time to stand there and look up as jumpgate
after jumpgate after jumpgate forms...
And out pour the Drazi and Narn ships, and the sky rains
fire...
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
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