GROPOS
Reviewed by (the newly crowned!) Emperor Cartagia
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(NOTE: Because this episode was so SIMPLE, there is practically nothing I CAN say about it and so therefore I thought I'd write it "in character" just to see if I couldn't puff it out to the average review length in so doing.)
Ho, hum, I just thought I'd drop by and take a break from the...important business...at my Coronation Ball and write this little review. Oh, YOU know how it is, the drunks, the phonies, the endless parade of suck-ups, insincere compliments, all of it absolutely tiresome...I LOVE it! The only thing my uncle Turhan ever DID of any worth was, as you Humans say, "kick the farm". (Which he did in the last episode, as you recall). And I must say, these white and gold brocade robes do look absolutely SMASHING on my trim figure, don't you think?
Erm, what was that? They want me to write an actual REVIEW? Oh, very well, then, I suppose. Sigh.
I can review this episode very quickly: A bunch of soldiers show up at that...space station-thingy called Babbling On 5 or 6 or whatever it was, then die.
What? They want a more detailed review than that? Oh, BOTHER. All right, but if you pester me about this ONE MORE TIME I'm sending you to my tort--erm, pain technicians!
Sigh...okay, well, it turns out that the troops, or GroPos (short for "ground-pounders", a.k.a. Marines) are being sent to put down a rebellion on some sort of planet or another. Earthforce wants this race called the Sylvesters or something like that to be in charge, although frankly I don't know what difference it makes, I'VE never heard of EITHER faction. They want this planet under the control of a government that will be friendly to Earth because the planet is in disputed territory and strategically close to both the Narns and my own people, the Centauri (as if you couldn't tell by my STUNNING hairstyle). General Franklin, who is the father of the station's doctor, Stephen Franklin, tells the captain, Sure-Enough or whatever, that eventually they will have to choose sides in the Narn/Centauri war. I frankly don't CARE which side they choose, if they back us fine, if they back the Narns we can take them, I'm sure. (Yawn) Slave! Why aren't my nails filed yet? And re-fill this goblet!
Are you still here? Sigh. Well, I suppose that one of the guest characters DID have some worth, a young redheaded woman by the name of "Dodger", who goes after Garibaldi ("Nice butt".) but gets pushed away. She was rather entertaining, I MUST say. Completely crushed an entire room full of other Marines singlehandedly when that hybrid Minbari-esque Ambassador was threatened. Good show, I simply MUST invite her here to the court. Except for the slight problem that she's now dead. Ah, well.
The problem with this episode is that, while in general the acting was good and such, it was too PREDICTABLE. You meet these people, you get to know them, they keep talking about how they might be dead soon, and then at the end, lo and behold, they all ARE! Well, all four of the ones we got to know PERSONALLY, anyway. And at the end, Dr. Franklin and General Franklin learn how to say they love each other.
How sickeningly sweet.
I suppose this episode might have SOME importance due to the fact that Earthforce is trying to muscle in on our war, and the fact that we see a relative of the good Doctor. But other than that, file this under "B" for "BORING". Now where DID I put that mirror...? And BOW before you leave the Imperial Presence!
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