This paper's brave reporter has only just got back from the wartorn village of Tatterenda after two days of pain and sufferring at the hands of the evil Spandex Militia. It appears that the Spandex Militia have retaken the troubled village of Tatterenda after heavily defeating the Red Army Faction. A lone Faction juve, Deloras, who herself was pale from loss of blood and a nasty flesh wound was found organising the evacuation of Tatterenda, as our reporter entered the village to interview the new leader of the Faction Reggie, following Alex's retirement from active duty.
Our reporter was informed that the RAF leadership was unavailable for comment, but local opinion was that Reggie was undergoing major heart surgery as a result of injuries sustained in the recent battle.
The RAF evacuated Tatterenda not a moment too soon as a very healthy, triumphant Spandex Militia danced into the village pushing a bound member of the RAF before them. Pernicia leader of the Spandex militia called a village meeting and gave an improptu speech saying that it was now the time for the 'wimen' of the underhive to throw off their male oppressors and take their place as the dominant and far superior sex. She then praised all of the militia for their continued faith in this just cause but singled out Pick once again for praise and called for five cheers one for each of the 'evil' men that Pick had dispatched in the day's fighting.
She then called for the body of Ginger, a Militia ganger who had been the only casualty on the Militia's side, to be brought forth and a minute's silence to be held. After the silence the bound and struggling body of a young RAF ganger was (wo)man-handled into the village square. He was asked his name; 'Moro' he replied. 'Are you a member of the pathetic and evil RAF who oppress wimenkind in the name of false equality?' he was asked. 'I am a proud member of the invisible vanguard of the worker's...' he got as far as saying before Perenicia cried out, 'OH! I'm bored of this, somebody kill him' at which point Judicia shot him in the back of the head execution style.
The crowd fell into silence until one of the Militia screamed 'let's party' and chaos reigned. Many of the women villagers joined in with the celebrations, many of the men fled. Our brave reporter stayed to bring you the events as they happened, but he was grabbed by a Militia ganger and used and abused by a number of the gang. It appears that Spandex Militia have got hold of a number of strange, perhaps illegal drugs and were using them as stimulants and sedatives with no thought to the long tern effects of the drugs cocktails they were making. Our brave reporter was forced to take one of these cocktails and is even now still recovering from their effects. He has little recollection of the following 2 days, but suspects that things have gone from bad to worse in the poor, wartorn village of Tatterenda......
Will the Red Army Faction, once they have recovered, attempt to retake Tattereneda? Will they enlist the help of the Avengers (The Underhive's Mightiest Heroes)? Did Reggie survive the heart operation? Or will the RAF have its 3rd new leader in as many months? Will Caine's attempt to retake Tatterenda from the wild wimen of Spandex? And will Caine bring his dog?
Whatever happens, you'll here it first in the Sump Falls Rag!