moving pictures

*'i thought they were trying to cure the philosopher's stones,or something',said the archchancellor.

(that should be trying to find the philosopher's stones.the quest for all alchemists is to turn all base metals into gold)

*'ah,but master',said the bursar,smiling indulgently,'the word "fit",as i understand it,means "appropiate to a purpose",and i would say the body of the Dean is supremely appropiate to the purpose of sitting around all day and eating big heavy meals'.

*the artist looked down at the paper.'she has the face',he read,'of a spink'.

'right',said dibbler.'right!'

'i thought maybe sphinx-'

'will you listen to the man?' said dibbler.'she does'nt look like two of them,does she?one spink,two sphinx'

*'that's what intelligence does for your sex life',said Dont-call-me-Mr-Thumpy.'rabbits never have that sort of trouble.Go,Sow,Thank you doe'.

*the Necrotelicomnicon was was written by a klatchian necromancer known to the world as Achmed the Mad,although he preferred to be called Achmed the I  Just Get These Headaches.

*'i was saying',he said loudly,'that we did'nt know the meaning of the word "sex" when we were young'.

'that's true.that's very true',said poons.he stared reflectively at the flames.'did we ever,mm,find out,do you remember?'

*'wassat?what's everyone doing?' said poons,suddenly waking up.

'we're going to play solid burghersw,said the Dean.

'that's a good game',said poons.

*the Librarian had seen many weird things in his time,but that was undoubtedly the 57th strangest(footnote-he had a tidy mind).

*'Twas beauty killed the beast',said the Dean,who liked to say things like that.

'no it was'nt',said the Chair.'it was it splatting into the ground like that'.