He didn't push me away, but the kiss was quick.
"Mademoiselle, what in the world are you doing?" He stared, wide eyed at me, dumbfounded.
"Can't you tell what I'm doing, Raoul?" I winked.
"Mademoiselle, I don't understand..."
"Oh, I'm sorry" I said condescending, "I was unaware you were so young and inexperienced. That you weren't familiar with this... forgive me, I should have trusted Christine's words..."
"It is not that!" He said indignant. He stared at me for some time, with an indecipherable look in his eyes. He caressed my hair, a little uncertain.
"God, Meg, you are so pretty...this is a mistake, what we are doing..." He closed his eyes and repeated, shaking his head at himself, "This is a big mistake."
And he embraced me, breathing uneasily, pressing me against his soft evening clothes. It seemed like the wine might have gone to his head, but not the hateful medicine!
"I know it is..." I said, wondering if I would really be able to take this to the end, "but if feels good, doesn't it?" I said with a cunning false smile, running my finger tips along his muscular back.
Raoul shivered briefly and kissed me on the mouth, somewhat eagerly. The taste of wine on his tongue felt pleasant, and yet I could barely refrain myself from crying, crying for the unfairness of what I was doing, for this being the total opposite of what I truly wanted.
How ironic! I entered this game seeking Erik, and would have to be content with Raoul, Viscount de Chagny, in the end!
However Raoul was a very honest and kind person, this I must remark. Even in this nonsense situation we were in, after a couple of glasses of wine, being me only a dancer, he still showed great respect and a certain guilt for allowing it to go on. I believe he was also blaming himself for doing it with anyone but Christine, who I could tell he never ceased loving and wanting.
But the anger of being supposedly despised by her must have sounded louder in his mind, and propelled his actions.
He took me in his arms, raising me from the floor as if I weighed nothing, and looked into my eyes, smiling for the first time that night.
"You are a little fairy, you know?"
I smiled shyly and asked why he thought so.
He laughed quietly and explained, "You are always making people's life brighter! It seems like every time I was sad lately...or Christine was," he added with some bitterness, "You were around, smiling, bringing light to our everyday problems."
He placed me on the bed as he said this.
I looked down, avoiding his look.
"It is true! You must be sent by God as a little Angel, whose duty is bringing people happiness."
I sighed, almost asking him to be quiet. Erik had a point, after all, when he said that and I hated having to think of Erik right now. It made me feel totally unworthy, despising! I knew that I didn't have any reason to feel like that, in my mind it was clear that I had extremely good reasons to do this, but I couldn't help feeling awful! For deceiving Raoul and betraying Erik.
Betraying Erik? What was I thinking! I didn't have anything to betray! He had only used my good intentions, or rather my stupidity, to turn to Christine at the first opportunity. All the times we had been together, when I thought he could be developing feelings for me, when I came to think we even had a friendship, and that, what a wild idea, that perhaps he could trust me and care for me...All this time it had been a lie!
"I'm glad you feel that way" I told Raoul, caressing his smooth and unbearded face, and kissing his lips again.
He looked very helplessly at me, and after his eyes had ran through the extension of my almost nude body, he said, panting some, "Meg, you are too nice, I can't do it to you."
I swallowed hard, gathered courage, and pulled him to me so suddenly, that before he knew what was happening, he was laying on top of me.
Again we kissed, so intensely this time that I have to confess for a second I thought I would lose the control of the situation. He lifted his upper body, kneeling between my thighs, and caressed my whole body with eager hands, frowning in lust.
His lips placed kisses on my neck and on my bosom, as he murmured, "You were so right, Meg! How could I have overlooked the woman you are?"
I squinted, disgusted. But had to force a smile upon my face.
He was completely changed, he lost the naivete and the inexperienced air he usually had. He was a rich man with a dancing girl giving herself to him. And I had to pretend that it was fine.
"I never overlooked the man you are." It was my turn to tease him, and I hated myself for that.
Raoul stripped his coat with incredible speed, and soon showed his well shaped body, bare, strong torso, smiling so eagerly that I had certainty that the medicine would never work, he would use me and then he would rescue Christine, all in one breath. And I would just be the comfort that both he and Erik had looked for to release their lust while waiting for the worthy Christine.
He had indeed a perfect body in all senses, probably shaped by years working at the navy, and a very good breed. His blond hair falling over his forehead, his eyes on fire, his whole frame showing eagerness and life! I closed my eyes, not for fear of being unable to resist him, but for sadness of seeing how much Erik was denied.
The Viscount's hands had cupped my breasts, and he was once again leaning over me, when he cursed and laid by my side on the bed, releasing me from his weight.
I was so relieved that I could barely hide it. "What happened?"
At first he didn't answer, and reached again to touch me, visibly dizzy. His hand was shaking, and I knew it was not from nervousness.
I gave him my best sensual smile and said, "Allow me now to take care of you."
He smiled lightly, closing his eyes, abandoning his body to my hands. It was like magic though. Didn't take long at all to have him sleeping as if he was dead. I remembered my mother, who would take a tenth of his dose, and would sleep no matter what. I was safe after all.
I took a deep breath, wrapping myself in the cloak again, trying not to think about what I considered one of the lowest things I had ever done.
I ran back to Christine's dressing room, wondering what I could do to stop the Persian.
"Where is the Viscount?" the Persian asked as I flung the door open. He was standing on top of a little stool, passing his hands through the wallpaper. I blinked, confused, wondering what he was doing.
"Never mind Raoul. He won't come. And you, Monsieur, have no need to go to the cellars!"
The Persian ignored me, as he went on with his exploring. After something clicked, he exclaimed, "There it is! That shall make the mirror spin!"
Switching my eyes from the Persian, and the guns laying on the dressing table, I demanded, "Monsieur, why do you hate Erik so much? Why is it that you do everything to harm him?"
The Persian climbed down the stool, and looked very seriously at me.
"I don't hate him, young lady."
"You don't?" I asked stupidly.
"No, mademoiselle. I only pity him."
"So why are you going to hunt him down like this?" I asked, exasperated.
"Because I believe Mademoiselle Christine Daae is in great danger."
"So you don't believe she would go to Erik in her free will?"
"No, I believe the monster mostly likely abducted her, or used some sort of dishonest threat to force her to go to him."
"Then do you believe that I would?"
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