Completely destroyed, I wandered around the Opera, once again. This time I didn't mind weeping in front of whomever would pass, mainly because I didn't even register people passing by. It was only me and that odious building, keeping me the prisoner of a loneliness and weakness I would never be able to free myself from. Oh, if only I had the power to bring all the Opera down!!
And finally it was too close to the show time to find any peace. With people talking obnoxiously loud and filling every corridor with their hateful presence, nauseating perfumes and shining ostentatious outfits, I failed to find a secluded place to be.
Naturally knowing every usher in the house, I asked permission to watch the Opera that night. I didn't know why, but I wanted to watch Faust, perhaps to see how they would do without Christine. Who would replace her? Did they know of her departure already?
In an ironic turn of destiny I was seated right under box five. I looked up, without hope of finding anyone there, and saw my mother, dutifully placing the ghost's program on the edge of the balcony. We exchanged a look for a moment and I faced the stage once again.
The curtains opened, and I could barely bring myself to pay attention to the action on stage, but the music broke free inside of me.
"Nothing! In vain do I question, through this zealous vigil,
Both Nature and our Maker;
No voice comes to murmur in my ear
Some word of comfort."
Faust sang, in his hoarse tormented voice, by his dusty table, dim light around him and a few scattered books. I felt incredible sympathy for him. I had been defeated, too.
"I see nothing! I know nothing!
Nothing! Nothing!"
It wasn't the first time I watched Faust, I actually was quite familiar with the Opera, but I couldn't keep the tears from running wildly down my face, for the immediate identification I felt. I must have been quite a spectacle in my ballet costume, crying at the very beginning of an Opera, when the spectators were still making themselves comfortable in their seats and glancing around to see who was attending the performance, and with what company.
But how could I hold it back, when I saw my sorrow being sung by that dying man on the stage, that destroyed Faust?
"A curse on all that deceives us,
Idle hope which speeds away with the hours
Dreams of love or of battle!
A curse on happiness, a curse on science..."
Suddenly Madame Saint-Ann, one of the ushers, came to me and whispered,
"Little Meg, somebody is outside and wants to speak with you. They claim it is urgent."
Oh, nice, it was the second urgent call of the day. I could barely wait for another good surprise, I mocked myself.
I left the auditorium, the lights outside hurting my eyes, just when Faust sang his line inviting Satan to come to him. Was I doing the same, tangling with Erik and his businesses? How much had I lost so far?
"Marcelle? What are you doing here? "
Squinting, confused, and blinded by the foyer light, I saw my friend dressed in very revealing clothes, probably the ones she had used to dance at her mother's tavern that night. It had been so long since I had last visited her. I felt guilty, terribly guilty, for neglecting someone whom I considered my best friend like this. But how could she understand what I was going through?
Marcelle definitely didn't fit in at the Opera in the least, and I'm sure she was quite content about it. She was so beautiful and so true! It was not the rehearsed beauty of mortal genius. Looking at her, resting her head on the marble wall, her long hair covering only part of the daring neckband of a red dress, I couldn't help but laughing. My mind switched from Faust to Carmen for only one second, and I realized I should be really disturbed to be so focused in Operas.
"How in the world did you get them to allow you in here?"
"Shut up, Meg, you are not in your best clothes either." She smiled and replied carelessly. I had to agree with her, after all I only had had time to take off the dancing shoes. I felt pathetic now, for everything, and started to both laugh and cry at the same time, throwing myself at Marcelle's neck.
"Quit the drama, Meg. I have something very serious to tell you."
Her dry practical answer surprised me, and I resented her lack of sensitivity. But as she started to talk, I understood the urgency of the matter.
"We received some very unusual gentlemen in the tavern today."
She gave me a meaningful look and grinned, "Mother pointed them out to me as the Chagny brothers."
I raised an eyebrow. My weeping was done and I was listening with all my heart.
"I thought it was very peculiar, and tried to stay close to them, listening to what they said.", she explained. "Apparently, the blond cute boy, that Raoul, had his heart broken by a singer who eloped with a Phantom."
At that summary, so perfect, I roared loudly, hitting the marble column in front of me with all my strength.
"And just what exactly am I supposed to do? Console and comfort the Viscount?!"
"Meg, if you don't stop screaming at me right now I'll turn my back and leave, and I'll forget all this, ok?"
"I'm sorry, Marcelle." She was right. How could she guess what had happened? I allowed my arms to fall lifeless against my sides, and did my best to remain quiet through her reporting.
"As I was saying..." she stressed, letting me know my interruptions were not welcome, "it seems like he was babbling far too much for his brother's patience, who kept ordering cups of wine for him and trying to convince him that the singer was not worthy of all that. But the Viscount went on telling that a Phantom went to his house some nights ago, threatening him, and that he aimed at the Phantom but missed the shot, and other nonsensical stories. And he kept repeating that tonight he won't miss it again. "
"Raoul is raving..." I said mindlessly.
"Raving or not, his brother seemed quite worried and said that as soon as they arrived, he would see that a message was sent to the police investigator, so this Phantom fellow would be arrested for once and for all."
I widened my eyes.
"What should I do?"
"I think if we leave now, we will still have enough time to catch them at the tavern. And you can think of what you will do on your way there."
At the entrance of the Opera, there were two skinny, exhausted looking horses, tied in a light pole.
"You own me one, Meg. If my mother's boss finds out that I stole his horses, he will kill me."
"Thanks" I said, climbing into the horse's saddle.
Once again Faust came to my mind, and I felt like my energy and wish for fighting had been restored. I just had some intuition that perhaps, just like with Faust, my motivation was a devil who could only bring me evil...
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