A few memories of that day passed through my mind, accompanied by the weight of various thoughts, confused and entangled. The tiredness I felt was intoxicating, and my body was collapsed on the bed. I was almost asleep when I heard something, faint at first, then a little more distinguishable.
A soft voice. It was calling my name, in a spoken music. Instead of startling me, it contributed to the numbness of that night. As the voice insisted for me, the sense of reality finally touched me. The sound came from very close, from behind the wall. It was the Phantom.
He sounded high spirited that night, his smooth pitch surrounding me in the darkness. I thought of the beckoning man, not the sight hidden by his mask. I felt as if I was under a spell. My name sounded so beautiful spoken by him!
“Meg, do you know who this is?”
“Uh-huh.“ How true it was...
“Meg, I came here to talk about your mother’s job. It is true I caused her troubles, unwillingly, but I will restore her position as soon as possible. Please tell her there is no need to cry anymore. I always appreciated her service, and wouldn’t let it stay like this.”
“Ah, so you were listening when she came home, weren’t you?” I said, more accusingly than I intended to.
“Yes. Meg, why didn’t you tell the Persian what he asked?”
His doubt was genuine, and he had probably been thinking exaustively about this. I answered effortlessly, as it seemed pretty obvious to me, “Because I care for you.”
He was silent for some time.
“Why?” he asked, more to himself than to me, very sincerely and surprised.
It was a sad evidence that he, like many people, can terminally fail in finding something special about themselves, something that would make them worthy of love. But what was so tragic in his case was that he, more than anybody else, I think, deserved to be loved. And it would be so easy to love him, if it was not for...
I felt an incredible compassion for him, but didn’t say anything. The sight of his face had come back to my mind, haunting me as some kind of nightmare. I felt very uncomfortable at his presence, all the sudden, dueling with contrasting feelings. I didn’t have a definitive image of him anymore. I thought of his voice, the beautiful way he pronounced every word, and couldn’t imagine it coming from that face, the flow of his rich voice and soft gentleness touching those wretched lips. It was almost as if it was two different persons, one was a perfect abstraction, the other one was a deep and terrifying reality.
Yes, he was real. The horror, as well as the attraction he inspired in me, were real. It was, therefore, a relief, knowing that he existed, that he was not a figment of my wandering imagination - even if he had to be the way he was. More than all, he inspired me with a determination of living intensely, of taking chances...and I didn’t even know on what.
But whether my mind was a mess or not, it was no concern of his, and I had promised myself to do all that was in my reach to never let him know I had seen him unmasked. So, leaving those thoughts unheard and forgotten in a corner of my mind, I asked, “Is your name really Erik?”
“Erik is a name I took by chance. But it works fine...” He sounded very light headed, contrary to his usual grave attitude.
“I must thank you for your discretion, Meg. I wouldn’t like to have the Persian messing with my affairs any further,” he said, seriously.
Even when he didn’t sound too withdrawn, I could still tell easily that he held a barrier between him and people, between him and me. The mask itself was cruel obstacle, for as much as I could pretend to know him well, the truth was I didn’t know him at all. At least, not that he was conscious of...
Why would he conceal not only his face, but himself, so hermetically unreachably? Was there any secret path through the cover of protection he had thrown around himself, or was he lost in his gloomy world forever? I have had unusual and secret dreams of getting into this world and rescuing him, but that had been before. I couldn’t tell for sure, not anymore, if I was ready to try it, or willing to.
Of course I had been speculating about the meeting with the foreign man, and wondering what in the world he could have to do with Erik. Asking this question to the Phantom, though, was another story. It seemed like whenever I pushed my way through that barrier, he felt wildly threatened, even if my intentions were the best ever. I decided forgetting the topic, at least for now.
“You are very welcome. Where are you, exactly?”
“Everywhere!” his voice spread itself to all the walls and objects, in a magical way. I felt surrounded, people and things talking back to me, each one on its own voice. He laughed, proud of his little trick.
“Nice! Are you a ventriloquist?”
“Me? Little Meg Giry, I am no ventriloquist, I am a Phantom!”
He feigned indignation, making me laugh with him. The inconstancy of his moods was amazing! He could show great fits of temper, as I had presenced before, as well as gentle, and even childish attitudes.
“Would you like to come in and talk for a while?”
I was secretly hoping he would. In spite of all that happened, I had missed him and still had that urge of being with him. I also wanted to put my indecision towards him to a test. I suppose the haunting image of his deformity wasn’t enough to put an end to that feeling of admiration I had since the beginning. No, there should be a lot more about him to make me forget that sight, and I wanted to allow myself to be seduced by him again.
I believe he hadn’t considered the idea of actually getting inside my room, sitting on my bed and chatting with me. He was so used to being the Phantom, the one who talks from behind walls (or mirrors, as I was ready to learn by the time), that my question took him by surprise.
“I don’t think it would be a good idea,” he said hesitantly. ”By the way, Meg Giry” He quickly changed the subject, “ just in case you’ve given a thought about going on with your...spying habits, I’m obliged to let you know I’ve just blocked that passage to my lair tonight.”
I shrugged my shoulders, pitying him for believing his timing was good. It was too late, it didn’t matter anymore. If only he had done that a little earlier... I wondered if he could possibly have guessed my presence there in the afternoon, but I disconsidered the idea. He wouldn’t be so calm if he knew I had seen him.
“Erik,” it was a little strange calling him by this name, “how exactly are you going to help my mother?” I was eager to concentrate myself in some conversation, to avoid thinking over and over about my doubts.
He gave a malicious laugh. “Ah, my dear one! Don’t you worry about it! I can assure you it will be quite easy.”
I smiled, wondering what he was up to. “Good, because if it doesn’t work, I lose my place in the Opera, and I will have to sleep on your sofa down there. And I believe you wouldn’t like it...” I said playfully, just realizing my words after they had slipped out of my mouth. Had I thought twice, I wouldn’t have never said it. I was thankful for my spontaneity.
He, in the other hand, was obvious in showing he didn’t take my comment too well.
“Not especially...”
I laughed silently at his reaction. Sometimes I felt so close to him! I would have given everything to know what was inside his mind. So many things I wanted to talk about...but I was afraid of going too far, and unexpectedly making him leave.
“So, do you want to hear the new rumors about you, Mr. Phantom?“ I asked conversationally.
“Oh, yes!” he answered, purposely child-like.
We talked for quite some time, and I thought it incredibly funny that he knew as much gossip from the Opera as I did, possibly even more.
When I met him, I didn’t believe he was the kind of person who could ever talk joyfully. But after sharing some of his hearty laughs I was sure he still had a lot of life and happiness inside his heart, and it made things even more sad.
Still giggling in our conversation, I asked him jokingly, “So, since you see everything that happens in the Opera House, have you met Christine Daae’s Angel of Music yet?”
I had forgotten by then all the hints I had received on this matter. I didn’t expect any revelation when I asked it, and I can’t imagine having asked it if I only knew what would come of it. A little word, so simple, so definitive. So crushing.
He answered, “Yes.”
Get your own Free Homepage