Why have ye been dormant all this time?

Well, first I had a short, 24-month long nap, which was interrupted by a Goblin Courier who had a summons for me to join the Troll Courts for an Official Meeting, and, long story short, I was elected King of the Trolls, much to mine own surprise. Didn't even nominate meself, 'twas apparently a write-in vote. Since then, I've been performing the duties of Troll King, regulating Autumn for Mother Nature, dealing with Bridging Issues for the Bridgeless, etc.

Have ye been busy with that novel ye were working on?

Oh! Ye means the one being written about me. I was contacted by a sturdy young man long ago who wrote down a lot of things I'd said about my own life. He checks back with me now and again for additional details, and just to catch up for a spot of tea. He tells me the book's trudgin' along, but to a Troll, that's neither here nor there, since we can write and yet we can't read.

What can those mere Mortals at the Georgia Renaissance Festival expect from your return next season?

Well, tea will be at 4 o'clock, of course --- nothing shall get in the way o' that! I hope to help Humankind to better understand the nature of Nature, respect the trees, see things from beyond the narrow vision into which Humans tend to corral themselves, dance like nobody's watching --- sorry, what was the question again?

What has been your weirdest moment of the year thus far?

I had a bumper crop of ToeJam which, as of just last month, is now considered a major delicacy in France. Strange people, those French. Behold! the Power of Cheese!

Do Trolls dream of electric sheep? (One of those weirder questions, there.)

Trolls dream of memories of long ago, and things yet to be --- the waking world that be the Dream that is today. That deep enough for ya?

Where can I next see ye, if I don't see ye at Faire, then?

I be planning to do DragonCon, where I hope to meet up with a few of me old friends. Other than that, it's back to cleaning out all the pollution out o' me old bridge. You Humans and yer pollution! You do realize, don't you, that you always make Native Americans cry when you do that?

Tell me about life as a Troll in the Atlanta-Fulton County Region. Do people stop and stare and ask the obvious questions, which they need not do?

Actually, ye'd be surprised how I fit in around here. Being so close to Alabama, Trolls just don't stand out too much.

What do the folks at DragonCon think of you, and why do you want to take it over so badly?

Ssssssshhhhh!!!!! Takin' DragonCon over be a secret!!! I've always been popular there! All the stars want to pose for pictures with me. I get to meet some of the niftiest Humans around --- Soupy Sales, for instance; some of the cast members from all the Star Wars films; and I even spent 30 minutes with Margot Kidder, which was great! I just love all those movies you Humans make! As for why I wanna take DragonCon over, well --- just blame it on the thrill that goes with being King of the Trolls goin' to me 'ead. Someone once said that with great power comes great responsibility, but the power's enough for me. I can always leave the responsibilty in the fridge for later. (Hope it doesn't go bad.)

What attracted ye to that strange, bizarre land of MySpace?

There be a few o' me Human friends there that wanted me to keep in contact with 'em. Despite the reputation of MySpace being a haven for pedophiles and psychotic teens (I have yet to actually meet one thither!), I'm also featured on City of Heroes on the Protector server, along with my horribly out-of-date website, and my CafePress site.

Will ye be more of a ladies' Troll?

If I were any more of a ladies' Troll, I'd have to wear some sort of flea-colar device to kepe them away! You do know, don't you, that AXE body spray is made from Troll-sweat?

What did ye think when the freaks of Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest and became Finland's newest national heroes?

Just goes to prove how nice guys Finnish last!

Are ye into heavy metal these days?

Nah, too crunchy. Tryna cut down and slim up.

As ye may or may not have heard recently, I have pursued other trolls from Finland --- Finntroll, to be more precise. Your reaction?

Well, in my abscence, I understand the need to fill the void. They do rock, for true --- and we Trolls know all about rocks. Waitaminnit --- you pursued them? Ye've not become a Troll Hunter, have ye?

What, I wonder, will bring ye to the Carolina Faire? Have ya any plans for the folks attending thither?

As a Knight of the Sidhe, I'll be attending as a Champion to one of the Avatars of the Faerie Queen. As for my other plans there, none exactly --- I just hope they have tea, though.

One more question: when in Merlin's name are ye gonna visit ye Byg Appyl?

I've already been! I watched from a distance as Manhattan Island was purchased with some beads. But I hope to return there someday, as I hear there be the most WONDERFUL bridges! I know not when I might return to ye Byg Appyl, much less take a bite out of it whole. From what I've heard about the place, Trolls don't stand out there too much, either.

Well, as you can see from the photo here, Ik is rather nice to the world's littler creatures (but only when he wants to be!). Click above to experience Ik's world, or visit Ik's MySpace.com domain --- and remember, "Tusk no one!"