How to Hire a Dragonmaster

or: How Blackwolf Can Work His Magic for You!

ell, Mortals, now that you know all that you need to know about New York's Unofficial Wizard, do you feel that somehow it isn't enough? Would you still like to know even more about ol' Blackwolf?

More to the point, would you like to hire my services? If so, here's a list of the things for which this humble old Mage is available:

• Storytelling and Wisdom. This, of course, is the heart and soul of all that I do --- especially with the children, of whom I am especially fond. It helps immensely if the kids (and here, I must stress that my specific target audience is between the ages of 9 and 13) are good, well-behaved, terrifically-skilled in the art of using their imaginations --- and especially if they know how to believe in dragons! (Oh, and did I mention that I have one or two connections with a certain K. Kringle?)
• Comedy and Commentary. Always clean, but occasionally with a grumble or two about life in ye Big Apple. Hey, you try being a 4800-year-old Wizard who inadvertently winds up trapped in the greatest city in the Mortals' Realm ..... 'tis not exactly what one would describe as a simple walk in the Enchanted Forest! (Heh-heh!)
• Calligraphy and Typography. Ah yes, there's nothing I like better than putting my ten very talented fingers to work --- believe me, Lords and Ladies: I love it, I love it, I loooooove it! I can liven up your party invitations, business cards, letterheads, or even a wedding feast or two with my lettering prowess; in fact, if it be hip-hop, classical, early Renaissance, or standard New Age lettering, I can design anything on paper that you can use!
• Website Logo Design. This is the other type of work I do with my aforementioned ten talented fingers --- and what's more, I do not use any computers to do it, either! Previously, that means I've designed the website logo for the popular singing duo The Bedlam Bards; as well as the website logo for my fellow Mage, Ryleh the Wanderer. I should also mention that I've also created a logo for yet another of me good friends, Dragonlord Kilber K'zar.
• Weddings! If you think you can willingly accept the challenge, your Dragonmaster now does weddings, too! I can, if thou so desire, add a silly, and often strange touch to your special moment! The format is as follows: I bless the bride and groom, followed by a short storytelling session, a few photo ops and the traditional meet-n'-greet! Huzzah!

And of course, as some of you may already know, I continue to seek out financial and other arrangements regarding my documentary film project about myself, Blackwolf the Dragonmaster's First Movie! For you newcomers to these Dark Chambers, the film tells the tale of how I came to be the Big Apple's first and only Unofficial Wizard; and chronicles a day in my magical life (and that's as far as I intend to go in terms of a plot synopsis, thank you!).

My asking prices for the above-listed talents are as follows:

Storytelling, comedy and/or commentary --- $150-$200

Website logo design and calligraphy --- $150-$250

Weddings and personal appearances, including traveling and other expenses --- $350-$600

In the case of weddings and personal appearances, my rules are as follows:

First and foremost, SERIOUS ENQUIRIES ONLY, PLEASE! Interested Mortals wanting to step up to the challenge of having me crash thy party should provide a proper phone number and any additional contact information, in the event that I end up in a situation where I'm unable to locate said person or place which hired me (this being New York City, one can never be too careful, you know!). Also, a face-to-face meeting is certainly a MUST! I can contact you in or out of my robes, if need be; all I ask in return is that you please be specific as to where EXACTLY you are located, be ye in New York or elsewhere, as I don't really want to have to be forced into tracking people down needlessly! Once we seal ye deal (in writing, preferably), you pay me in cash immediately once I show up; at which point, I do ye olde meet-n'-greet/photo op thing, and then properly vanish.

And now that we've made that little caveat clear, let me say once more that, if you wish to hire me services for any or all of these things, or if you simply want my complete story, you're more than welcome to e-mail me!

And one other reason for the serious enquiries thing: If in fact you work the LARP circuit, and yet cannot accept my present status as a member of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists at face value, be warned that that's a very good way to lose customers, because your Dragonmaster will not be tolerant of those who resent me AFTRA status! As an AFTRA member, I must obey that organization's by-laws; those of you having problems with that, I wish I could be of help. Also, I am now only accepting written contracts for future personal appearances. The reason for this is rather simple: not only is it good business, but I have no wish to be swindled by some silly person who wanted to somehow weasel his/her way out of the commitment to use my services. In other words, if you brew this particular beer, in a sense, you ARE expected to drink it! Meaning, you pay me period, or I don't work for you at all.

Nevertheless, as always, the e-mail addresses are: electric_pirates@hotmail.com and blackbeardian@yahoo.com. Those of you who wish to contact me via the slow process --- 'snailmail,' as you Mundaners call it --- the address thither is:

I would certainly enjoy hearing from you; I stand ready to accomplish whatever mission you can grant me! (We Wizards just love taking on challenges; that's why we are so fond of those who love using their imaginations! Huzzah!)