Wow... I think I'm the first to respond!
Hidden amongst the outrageously charming and obscenely witty responses are
some serious, intimate glimpses into the inner sanctum of my mind. It's
dark, bring a flashlight--and a teddy bear.
>
> 01) Which Star Wars character are you?
> (http://www.sluis-van.com/personality/test1/index.shtml):
> -Luke Skywalker. (I'm a little disappointed. I wanted to be Yoda.)
>
> 02) How do you refer to yourself?:
> -Generally as I, but sometimes as Helmut
>
> 03) What is your name?:
> -Sean Michael Roy Preston
>
> 04) What is your quest?:
> -To prove to myself that I can accomplish the extraordinary. (Sorry if
it's cheesy, but right now it's the truth.)
>
> 05) What is your favourite colour?:
Blue. It's the colour of my electric guitar.
>
> 06) How do YOU spell favourite and colour?:
> -With fours. Lots of them.
>
> 07) How do you like your steak cooked?:
> -Medium rare--that means bloody, but not raw.
>
> 08) Say one nice thing about Kavin:
> -He's Kavin.
>
> 09) MAY EYE EET A HAM SANDWIXH?:
> -It sounds like you already are...
>
> 10) What is your favourite Hannah Barbara cartoon?:
> -Yogi Bear. Will that park ranger ever learn???
>
> 11) Is there anything about your life that you want to improve?:
> -I need to focus more on my goals and spend less time on idle
distractions.
>
> 12) Really? Are your concerns valid, or are you just very bored?:
> -I don't want to come out of school in my mid 30's with a debt that
consumes any inspiration to chase dreams.
>
> 13) Whatever. Who's better, Teela or She-Ra?:
> -I hate She-ra. Who's Teela? Anyway, Teela is better, 'cause Steve said
so.
>
> 14) Was Yoda wise, or did he fool people by talking funny?:
> -I don't think he was especially wise, he was just a really powerful jedi.
>
> 15) Do you call yourself a geek? If not, why did you answer questions 13
and 14?:
> -I don't consider myself to be much of a geek, although I would take no
offense at being labelled as one. I just answered the questions because it
would defeat the purpose of a survey to leave them blank.
>
> -What is your favourite food from the following food groups?:
> 16) Meat&Protein:
> -Korean BBQ
>
> 17) Dairy:
> -Hazelnut Frangelico Gelato.
>
> 18) Fruits&Veggies:
> -For cooking: mango For eating alone: Cherries
>
> 19) Bread:
> -Gorgonzola and apple bread. (I had it at this 'all the bread you can
eat' sort of restaurant in Japan. They have one of everything over
there...)
>
> 20) You are in a bar, and are struck with a craving for hot wings and
onion rings,
> so you order some. What do you order to drink? (Doesn't have to be
booze.):
> -On a cold day, hot lemon tea. On a hot day, a milkshake.
>
> 21) How would you serve spam for dinner to your significant other's
parents to
> impress them?:
> -Well, I had to think about this for almost two minutes. (I timed myself)
I would disguise the spam as much as I could. I would season it with basil,
rosemary, thyme and fennel seed. I would stuff the spam mixture into
cornish game hens, smother each one in an orange glaze, and roast them over
an indirect heat until the skin got crispy. (The grease from the spam would
keep the chicken fairly moist.)
>
> 22) Xena is better than Hercules. (T/F):
> -True, but only because the Xena show makes fun of itself from time to
time.
>
> 23) How would someone be able to trick you into going on the Jerry
Springer show?:
> -I don't know... If I knew, then the trick probably wouldn't work...
>
> 24) Why does Robert vanWinkle suck so much?:
> -1. Hmm... Maybe his nose is plugged...
>
> 25) How often do you polish your shoes?:
> -About once every 18 months.
>
> 26) Do you hate wearing pants?:
> -I enjoy pants a great deal. I think they're going to be very popular one
day...
>
> 27) If I presented you with a button labeled "evil@8" in big Lovecraftian
letters,
> would you press it?:
> -Well, if you told me to, I probably would.
>
> 28) What is your favourite country song?:
> -If I had to choose something, it would probably be one of Bonnie Raitt's
early country/blues tunes.
>
> 29) If you could spend a day with the fictional character(s) of your
choice, who
> would it be?:
> -The Autobots. I've always wanted to cruise around in Bumblebee. (What
would Freud say about that?!?)
>
> 30) Would you dance to a Polka for some really good Bratwurst?:
> -I would try.
>
> 31) Hi, this is Thomas speaking.:
> -If your dog ever sets a foot in my yard again, he'll be entering a world
of pain, Thomas. Consider that 'fair warning'.
>
> 32) The best flavour of Kool-Aid is __ :
> -Purplesaurus Rex. I don't know if they make it anymore, but it was my
favorite when I was a kid.
>
> 33) Was Napster bad?:
> -Napster was fine. I tend to think of it as a musical Robin Hood, of
sorts.
>
> 34) How do you take your coffee?:
> -Americano with cream and sugar. Regular coffee sometimes with milk,
sometimes without, depending on body and strength.
>
> 35) If you could visit any time and place, when and where would it be?:
> -I'd probably want to go back to the pool of primeval ooze the spawned the
first basic strand of DNA, and take a big 'ol dump in it. That would be
pretty funny.
Seriously though, I would probably go back and visit my grandfather on my
father's side, since I never got a chance to meet him.
>
> 36) Did you get the jokes on Married: with Children the first time you
watched it?:
> -Yeah, but every time I laughed, my family would give my this troubled
look.
>
> 37) Have you ever had any magazine subscriptions?:
> -Nintendo Power, Canadian Dirtbiker, and Amensty International's quarterly
magazine (I forget what it's called.)
>
> 38) Do you know enough about the workings of a toilet that you could build
one out
> of bamboo, coconuts and rubber plants?:
> -No, but I might be able to make a whoopee cushion.
>
> 39) What is your strongest (but still non-diagnosable) mental disorder?:
> -I'm pretty neurotic, but I try to hide it.
>
> 40) Who is your favourite Canadian musician or musical group?:
> -half of Eric Clapton.
>
> 41) Who is your favourite painter?:
> -I can't decide if it's Van Gogh or Dali. They're both pretty cool.
>
> 42) What is your favourite poem?:
> -The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost.
>
> 43) What is your favourite comedy sketch show?:
> -Kids in the Hall was pretty good. SNL still has its moments here and
there.
>
> 44) Why do you eat the flesh of dead animals?:
> -I want it, and they don't need it anymore. Besides, have you ever been
to the Memphis Blues Bar and Grill?!?
>
> -If you were a superhero, what would:
> 45) your power be?:
> -I would be able to perceive things with absolute objectivity
>
> 46) your name be?:
> -Sean-a-pus : Translated from Latin: 'He who sits on the fence.'
>
> 47) your costume look like?:
> -A tattered and slightly soiled white linen robe, and a bowl of corn
flakes(or jello, in a more formal setting.)
>
> 48) your cause be?:
> -To make the perfect decision
>
> 49) Are you sure you aren't a geek?:
> -I geek therefore I am. (You can use that if you want, Steve) :)
>
> 50) In AD 2101, war was beginning. What happen?:
> -I don't know what you just said, but for some reason I just had an image
of a robot named T-1000, who was sent back in time to protect a corporation
called Skynet by travelling back in time and killing the threat before it
develops... Maybe I'll write a screenplay!
Nah, it would suck.
>
> 51) Have you had enough, or do you want to answer another 50 questions?:
> -I'll do it tomorrow. (I'm not kidding)
>
> 52) What is compelling you to answer this particular question?:
> -My teachers always told me to guess, if I didn't know the answer...
>
> 53) Have you played Loonie: the Nucking Futs first edition?:
> -Yeah, but when I play it, it's on a construction site, between the hours
of 7:30am and 4:45pm, and it's called 'work'...
>
> 54) What flavour is the chip on your shoulder?:
> -An aromatic blend of rosemary vinegar, olive oil, finely chopped parsley,
and guano (damned seagulls).
>
> 55) Is that a potato on your jacket?:
> -If you're referring to the potato on my jacket, then no.
>
> 56) Have you ever gotten sick from an amusement ride?:
> -Only if you count trolling for salmon during a small craft warning as an
amusment ride.
>
> 57) How many wigs do you own?:
> -Just the one on my head.
>
> 58) Do you like goat cheese?:
> -It offends me a great deal. I don't like it, and I don't think other
people should either.
>
> 59) What is Puritan Irish Stew made with?:
> -Mad cows and englishmen, I believe. (This is one of my better responses.
You're welcome.)
>
> 60) Do you own a rubber ducky?:
> -No, I keep mine in my wallet.
>
> 61) Complete this phrase. "I am a(n) __phile.":
> -Gastro
>
> 62) What movies have people spoiled for you?:
> -The Matrix and Much Ado About Nothing were both spoiled for me by Keanu
"... whoa..." Reaves.
>
> 63) Do you have a favourite roleplaying system?:
> -Yeah, but this is a PG-13 survey, so I won't go into it in detail...
Incidently, it does involve dungeons, but no dragons...
>
> 64) Please repeat your answers to questions 15 and 49.:
> -The butler did it. Twice.
>
> 65) What's the worst thing you have ever consumed?:
> -a salmon eye. "It's a delicacy, you know..."
>
> 66) Will someone get this walking carpet out of my way?:
> -This sounds like a problem that will take care of itself.
>
> 67) Do you prefer wide screen or cut and pan?:
> -Wide screen is good, but cut and pan is way better in the sense that you
get to see less of the movie, the picture is sometimes distorted, and you're
not viewing the film the way the director had envisioned it.
>
> 68) Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?:
> -Well, sometimes I feel like a nut... Sometimes I don't.
>
> 69) Voulez-vous du beurre?:
> -Assejez vous! Travajez! You racist!
>
> 70) Are you a brain in a vat?:
> -Your mom.
>
> 71) What's wrong with kit lego?:
> -You can't eat it.
>
> 72) Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer __!:
> -CEO. 'Our goal is to put a weiner in every mouth in the world.'
>
> 73) If you could make any band cover any song, who would you have play
what?:
> -I would want John McLaughlin to cover Little Wing
>
> 74) Is it pronounced "keltic" or "seltic"?:
> -I guess it depends on how you spell it.
>
> 75) What footgear does death wear?:
> -It seems to me, Death Wore Sandals...
>
> 76) Where is Waldo?:
> -
>
> 77) Do you know the words to "Turkey in the Straw"?:
> -The last time I heard someone sing along with Turkey in the Straw, they
only knew one verse. It went something like:
'Could you please stop playing that?
C'mon, that's getting *really* annoying.
shut the hell up!
I'm not kidding!
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
That's it!!! If you play one more note,
I'm going to shove that fiddle up yer arse!'
I haven't played Turkey in the Straw since...
>
> 78) What does CD-ROM stand for?:
> -Conrad Dissed Rita's Only Mammory
>
> 79) Do you identify with any of the characters from the film "The Big
Lebowski"?:
> -Probably The Dude. There's a huge part of me that just wants to coast
through my adult life, letting my talents and ambitions get massaged away by
mild creature comforts... It a really tempting alternative to dedicating
all of my energy to chasing a dream.
>
> 80) What song describes you at the moment?:
> -Most Precarious--Blues Traveller
>
> 81) Do you know how to tie a tie?:
> -Yeah, but usually I try to win.
>
> 82) Would you censor Pee Wee's Adventure, or are you exceedingly liberal?:
> I would just turn off the TV.
>
> 83) Do you like Moxy Fruvos?:
> -I would probably rank Moxy Fruvos just above Snow, only because Moxy
Fruvos didn't attempt a comeback...
>
> 84) What is your favourite electronic game system? (ie, nintendo,
sega...):
> -Super Nintendo. You just can't beat Super Mario Kart...
>
> 85) What is your favourite software program?:
> Diablo II...
>
> 86) Do you know the muffin man?:
> I *AM* the muffin man!
>
> 87) What's the worst smell in the world?:
> -Someone else's vomit.
>
> 88) Do you prefer Star Trek or Star Wars?:
> -I refuse to divide my being in such a manner.
>
> 89) What is your favourite Kevin Smith movie?:
> -I'd have to say Dogma. I give it four stars of David.
>
> 90) What is your favourite Monty Python sketch?:
> -Ministry of Silly Walks
>
> 91) What do you think an appropriate length for a response to an "If"
question is?:
> -Length isn't as important to me as content. It should be consise. I
should be either belly laughing, or feeling significantly edified in some
manner every 30 seconds, while I'm reading the response.
(Cereal boxes tend to fit this criteria for me)
>
> 92) What were your favourite cartoons as a kid?:
> -, Transformers, GI Joe (both of which were crappy after their respective
movies came out...) Galaxy Rangers, MASK, He-Man, Animaniacs (that show is
still hilarious), Tiny Toons, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Denver the Last
Dinosaur, The cartoons from the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, X-Men (when I
was a bigger kid), and now Undergrads is my favorite, followed by Mission
Hill, The Oblongs, and The Tick.
>
> 93) Who do you root for in the world cup?:
> -I was rooting for England... *sniff*
>
> 94) Would you like to be John Malkovich for 15 minutes?:
> -I'd like to be John Malkovich, and then make John Malkovich go into
himself. I don't know what would happen, but it would be cool...
>
> 95) What is your favourite type of hat?:
> -Motorcycle helmet.
>
> 96) Who's scarier, Cthulhu or Turrasque?:
> -Steve, for knowing who the heck Cthulhu and Turrasque are.
>
> 97) What house would you be in if you went to Hogwarts'?:
> (http://www.sorting-hat.com/sorthatq.htm)
> -Gryffindor. I guess I'll have to watch the whole movie sometime, so I
can find out what that means...
>
> 98) Repeat your answer to question 64, defend yourself if you feel it's
necessary.:
> -I have no recollection of question 64.
>
> 99) What would be a good question to end this survey with?:
> -How long did you take to complete this survey?
>
> 100) What would your answer to that question be?:
> -About four hours, spread over five days.
