That when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
Her nickname is "DAMN"
She eats Wheat Thicks.
People jog around her for exercise
She went to the movies and sat next to everyone
You have to roll over twice to get off her
She was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world
When she lays on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
When you get on top of her your ears pop!
She goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "okay!"
She has to iron her pants on the driveway
She has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
When she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
That when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
She fell in love and broke it.
When she gets on the scale, it says, "We don't do livestock."
Her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
She looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
That when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
She's got Amtrak written on her leg.
I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
She wakes up in sections!
When she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
When she bunje jumps, she goes straight to hell!
When she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
She has more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
That her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
She's on both sides of the family!
Every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
She fell and made the Grand Canyon!
That when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Even her clothes have stretch marks!
She has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
She has to use a VCR as a beeper!
She broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
The roaches use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
When she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
That when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
She was baptized at Marine World.
When she dances at a concert, the whole band skips.
She left the house in high heels and when she came back, she had on flip-flops.
When the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
When she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
She put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
She stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
That she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
She hoola-hooped the super bowl.
When a bus hit her, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
That when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

YO MAMA SO STUPID... 

When she saw the NC-17 sign, she left and brought back16 friends
When your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
She told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
That she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
She got locked in a grocery store and starved!
That she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
She could trip over a cordless phone!
She sold her car for gasoline money!
She bought a solar-powered flashlight!
She thinks a quarterback is a refund!
She took a cup to see Juice.
When she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put "O.K."
She got stabbed in a shoot out.
She stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
When asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
She took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.
That she thought Boyz II Men was a day care
She took an umbrella to see Purple Rain.
That under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

YO MAMA SO UGLY...

That when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
If she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
That instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
She gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
That when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
Her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
That when she walks down the street in September, people say, "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
The government moved Halloween to her birthday.
That if ugly was brick she'd have her own projects.
People go as her for Halloween.
That when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
She scares the roaches away.
That when she walks in a room the mice jump on chairs
That when she went to the haunted house she walked out with a job

YO MAMA SO OLD...

I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
She has Jesus' beeper number!
Her social security number is 1!
That when God said let there be light, she hit the switch.
She owes Moses 3 bucks!
She knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
She was a waitress at the Last Supper.
She ran track with dinosaurs.
Her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

YO MAMA SO POOR...

When I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
She can't afford to pay attention!
When she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
When I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
She went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Her face is on the front of a food stamp.
She was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

YO MAMA SO DARK...

She went to night school and was marked absent!
That she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
She has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
When she puts lotion on her face, she looks like patent leather

YO MAMA SO SHORT...

She poses for trophies!
She can play handball on the curb.
That she can do back flips under the bed
You can see her feet on her license.

YO MAMA SO NASTY...

She goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
She has to put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
She made speed stick slow down.
She brings crabs to the beach.
She made right guard turn left.
I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

YO MAMA SO HAIRY... 

You almost died of rugburn at birth!
She's got afros on her nipples!
She looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Bigfoot is taking her picture!

YO MAMA SO SKINNY...

She can hula-hoop with a cheerio
She can hang glide on a Dorito!
She turned sideways and disappeared.

YO MAMA SO BALD...

You can see what's on her mind.
That she took a shower and got brainwashed.
She rolls her hair with rice
That when she wears a turtle neck she looks like a roll on deodorant
That when she braids her hair it looks like stitches